Is it normal that i've never seen rape culture in my own life?

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12 Comments

I would like preface this by saying that I am a feminist. I am in no way saying anything bad about the feminist movement. I wouldn't have even found out about rape culture if I wasn't reading feminist blogs.
Well anyways, I recently finished reading this article: http://www.shakesville.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html

The article says that we live in a culture that is filled with people excusing rapists, and that most people seem to think that rape is okay. Granted I live in a very liberal town, that may not be representative of the whole world, but I personally have never run into this kind of thinking. Any time I've ever heard the topic of rape brought up is in the context that it is completely horrible, Unless you count some people on the internet who fantasize about getting raped. I've never heard a rape joke outside of depraved places like 4chan, the same people who use the word f*g as a suffix.

When I read this article, I saw links to articles about judges giving out light sentances to the rapist of a ten year old girl because she "Dressed provocatively". I saw that apparently some people think it's not rape if you're married, her lips said no but her eyes said yes, or she was "Asking for it" After reading this, I was wondering if we are living in the same culture, because that certainly isn't what I've seen in my experience. I have been told that rape is worse than murder, and I believe that 100%. The only reason I would rather be raped than murdered is because I'm already I've been scarred, abused and broken so many times that I have only made it through because I have a strong will to survive.

Well, now that that's gotten out of the way, my question is, is it normal to not notice rape culture? Do you see things like this all the time in your real life?

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78% Normal
Based on 9 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    You go to Tumblr don't you? For some reason that place is crawling with feminists, and really when you have feminists you also have women that preach man-hate. Not all of them, just some of the loudest, while some of the other loudest do preach gender equality.

    I do notice the sort of bad behavior of how slut shaming becomes victim blaming. How because a woman dresses provocatively then that means that she wants to get raped. Then I've also seen rapists get light sentences, I recall one article, which I sadly can't find, where the rapists were even called "Byronic Heroes" for their actions. That was honestly disgusting and I hated that, but I do notice how whenever a woman gets raped people always ask what she was wearing, as if that matters. I think that is sort of messed up.

    However, and I have mentioned before that this is a gray area for me, if a woman chooses to wear scantily clad clothing and expects not to get a sort of cartoonish reaction from men, then I think she's sort of stupid to be honest. Carry pepper spray with you or something, regardless of what you're wearing honestly, just please don't abuse it.

    In conclusion I do notice some of the things that Tumblr feminists do rant about, and usually I am on their side, until they start preaching that all men are pigs and dogs, then blatantly attack anyone who slut shames, as if there is some sort of difference.

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    • Energy
      10 years ago

      I loveeeeee Tumblr :3 and I've never seen hate against men on there. In fact, I've seen feminists complain that other feminists don't take male problems seriously enough. Like how we are expected to be all masculine...even if we do not want to. They preach, that, that is ALSO a feminist issue. That's what I've seen from Tumblr anyway.

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        I've seen some feminists preach that as well, but not a lot to be honest. At least the last time I was on Tumblr a few months ago I saw what I explained.

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  • driedroses
    10 years ago

    I think you're seeing but not noticing.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    People do excuse rapist and killers. You never seen the case when they played the pity factor "But the rapist is a person too. We cant put them on death row". Well I say fuck um. People deserve a certain amount of respect and personal space. If you invade that space and rape someone you have taken away there right and are not respecting that persons boundaries. So you do not deserve any rights of your own if you refuse to respect theirs. That is a very liberal way of thinking.

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  • Couman
    10 years ago

    Worse than murder you say? What if that kind of thinking is part of the problem? Imagine: You're 19, you were fooling around with a guy on the couch, he went much further than you wanted, even though you made yourself clear... at least you think you did. But you didn't want to make him MAD or anything. You hate the thought of him doing it to anyone else. But everybody tells you rape worse than murder and and this wasn't THAT bad, was it? Heck, he even said he was really sorry. Maybe that wasn't exactly rape after, just a big misunderstanding.

    You see? You're part of rape culture too!

    That's the trouble with the term, it includes everything and therefor means nothing. Basically feminists should fire their entire marketing department for that one, unless sowing confusion while simultaneously making themselves sound unreasonable was the goal.

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    • Wuggums47
      10 years ago

      This comment made no sense to me. By imagining a your scenario, I'm part of rape culture? Also in that scenario, unless the man is deaf, it's still rape. I've known victims who couldn't do anything because they were afraid that they would die if they resisted, or even paralyzed by fear. Just because the person being raped doesn't resist doesn't mean they are doing it so the rapist won't get angry with them. If they said no, especially more than once so it's clear what they said, It's rape. Rape doesn't include just anything, it includes rape.

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      • Couman
        10 years ago

        "You" was directed at the OP or other people who believe rape is worse than murder, not all readers of the comment. My "imaginary" (but sadly all too real) scenario was intended to illustrate how this attitude is in fact part of the problem, and therefore can be considered part of the incredibly broad category, "rape culture".

        I'm sorry you found it confusing.

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        • Wuggums47
          10 years ago

          I am the OP, and I'm only more confused by your explanation. So rape culture includes thinking rape is a terrible thing now too? Anywhere I've read says that rape culture is the acceptance of rape, or victim blaming.

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          • Couman
            10 years ago

            Well that's my point, it can mean anything.

            For the record, I really do think the whole "fate worse than death" attitude about rape can be harmful, but I've never heard directly anyone cite it as an example of rape culture before.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Yeah I agree. I never heard anyone condone rape or speak of it in any way other than a horrible crime right up there with murder.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    I feel a similar way to you. I've never seen that type of backward thinking in my real life, and I've not seen it very often online (when you compare it to the number of people online who think rape is always terrible, anyway). It's one of the reasons that I'm lucky to be slightly sheltered.

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