Is it normal that i tried to make a girl i really like despise me?

38% Normal
8 Comments

We both seem to like each other and are always flirting and spending time together. We have discussed a relationship a few times but there are always things in the way. Despite this we've always returned to being very close friends. I realised eventually that the entire situation (and previous experiences with girls) had completely ruined me and I was getting very depressed. It has really affected my entire life and looks set to go on doing so, for example I now find it hard talking to girls (how can I move on?). I realised I needed to terminate my friendship with her. To do this I have been deliberately rude and ignoring to her, basically a complete douche, and even as I write this am I texting her, refusing to apologise for my actions. It genuinely breaks my heart to do this and I care about her so much, but I have to, being her friend is really consuming me, and the subject of our feelings will be brought up in the future, fucking me up even more. I am genuinely a really nice guy and so this feels immoral and unatural. If you ask why I did not simply tell her we needed to stop being friends: I see her quite often, and we're very close, we would eventually drift back to being friends. This way, even if I change my mind, I cannot reconnect with her and hopefully I can recover. Is this normal?

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 24 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Crudhouse
    12 years ago

    Hard to comments on things like this. Sharp pain now or a prolonged spin into the abyss basically. Don't do anything manipulative with people is a good rule to go by generally. I was manipulative for an year when I was much younger and that was the worst year of my life!

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    This sounds self destructive. It would be best to tell her why your doing these things, even if you think it will turn things back to the way they were. Depending on your age, worst case scenerio you could possible move? But definately tell her and make it clear your done!

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  • iindia
    12 years ago

    Very normal. Don't burn bridges though never ever ever ever burn bridges? Just be straight forward instead of emotionally damaging someone which creates no future opportunity. Get back on track with your personal life once you're up to 100% then mingle.

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    • meyeah
      12 years ago

      I understand it's hurting her, this fact and not seeing her means I feel terrible 24/7. This will hurt both of us, but in the long term it is necessary.

      And good analogy of burning the bridges, but actually I need to, I need closure and this way we won't drift back to being close again, because I know I'll want to be with her in the future.

      You say this is normal but it's too late, I have burnt the bridge.

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  • GeekiTheBrave
    12 years ago

    Your hurting her. Thats always wrong

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    • TightRedShirtPurpleSkinnyJeans
      12 years ago

      But it is to avoid more pain. Does the end justify the means?

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  • lp210
    12 years ago

    Sometimes burning bridges isn't a bad thing...It prevents you from going back to a place you should never have been to begin with.

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  • TareBear20
    12 years ago

    Real shitty on you're part. Be upfront, or crawl under a rock.

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