Is it normal that i think about my stepdad when i masterbate?

First of all, let me say how sorry I am for what you went through........ for what your step dad did to you. It was wrong and your step dad needs to be held accountable. You were only a child, even though you were in your teens.......he was an adult and should have known better.
I was sexually abused also......from the age of 8 - 19. I do the same thing you do
......I fantasize about my abuser when I am masturbating... and it results in some awesomely powerful orgasms. I don't understand the psychology behind why you and I think about the very men who hurt us and raped us. My abuser screwed up my entire life. I've been in counseling for five years now.

I think it's pretty normal. First of all, I'm sorry that this happened to you, especially at such a young age. I'm sure you've found your own ways of dealing with it and I won't pretend to relate or understand how it must feel at all. Just remember that it wasn't your fault and it doesn't make you any less of a person. You're still you regardless of what happened to you outside of your control.

Second, perhaps this is your subconscious way of making it feel more....okay or normal. Like maybe if you willingly (but at the same time subconsciously, if that makes sense) continue to think about him sexually, it makes what happened feel more acceptable, or less wrong. That's the only thing I can think of, but I'm no psychologist. Best of luck to you :)

I am going through the same thing! This is the first time I have ever admitted to this. but. I am a 19 yr old girl who has a stepfather. from about the age of 11 until 16 my stepfather got me involved with sexual things. at first he would show me porn, accuse me of masturbating when I didn't have the slightest clue what that even was. and because of him I started masturbating at the very young age of 12. he used to feel my boobs.. when I wanted someone to check to see if they had a lump because I thought they did. and say he was in love with me and what not, tell me what he wanted to do to me. I used to wake up with his hand down my pants... I didn't like it back then ... it scared me. but NOW... that im out of the house and 19 years old... I kind of like the idea of him wanting me... like, I like that he drools over my presence. I know hed die to watch me masturbate up close or even touch me for that matter. I fantasize about it regularly. but... im afraid to act on it. not sure if I should really. idk.

i think u must stop thinking on him

I think you should tell him how you feel and tell him you want it to continue.

I cant help but think about sucking my Step Daddys dick

Me and my sisters love my step daddy too

im 19 now

You didn't say how old you are. If you don;t have any GOOD sex memories to use, you will use those.

Good or bad, sex feels physically good in many ways- even to children. You KNOW it was wrong, and rightfully hate him, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a sexual experience, and that is what makes you think of it during those times...

Thats why so many boys that get molested grow up to be gay. Their first time busting a nut was with a man. Forever now associate men with pleasure.