Is it normal that i think about killing myself daily?

5 Comments

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a downer or a whiny asshole, but, this is my story. Sometimes I wake up, and I wonder, why I deserve to be alive. I'm a selfish, mean, insensitive, vulgar, prick and yet I wake up while other, more deserving people never even get to be born. I have friends, but I feel even more alone WITH them than when I'm completely alone. I have dating options, but I always never pursue them, because I feel out of their league or that my romantic interest deserves better. My life feels empty and I feel like I'm a burden to everyone else. Some days are better, but most I find myself thinking of killing myself at what seems like every single moment of that day. Some nights I find myself crying myself to sleep, or, on the really bad days I might grab a knife and pretty much at the last second, decide not to slit my wrists. This has been going on since I was six. I have lost count how many times I almost did it. Should I suck it up or get medical help? Remember, I have lived with this for a long time and I have never harmed myself.

Medical Help 15
Suck it up 4
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Comments ( 5 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Countless times I've said this before and I'll say it again.
    Since you are so unhappy, why don't you be unhappy doing for others. You don't have to change or fake anything, just go volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter and do something for others. Not for you, or to help you, or even to make you care; just do it for them, they need you.
    What have you got to lose?

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      I vote for volunteering with animals, because they smell better. Petting and playing with animals causes your brain to release oxytocin.

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  • nodirection111
    9 years ago

    Sometimes, when I get depressed, I start freewriting -- just anything that pops into your head write it down, how you feel, the complexity of emotions you are experiencing; it really helps to write down how sh*tty you are feeling - and if you believe in this sort of thing, why not after writing all those negative things, crumple up the paper or even burn it, trust me, it will make you feel better.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    Ive been there, "done that" (attempted suicide) and its not the answer.
    You may need counselling and may need to find the right meds but life is worth living, were all going to die one day so why rush it...I agree with the other two, start giving of yourself and you may realize youre needed . Get a pet and it will give you a reason to get out of bed, my cat seems to know when Im feeling crappy or out of it he wakes me up and helps me get started.
    Trust me suicide sucks for everybody around you and there will be a time when you are glad you didn't do it.

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  • Toball
    9 years ago

    As I see it you have a number of options, continue life as you have been feeling ready to fall off the edge(not recomended), You could do as thegypsysailor say and volunteer(it'd be nice and you could do it regardless of other options), or talk to a doctor(recomended) you have nothing to lose by doing so. I hope you have the strength to stay; don't end it.

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