Is it normal that i think about her?
Eight years ago, I met this girl and ever since that day, we became best friends. We would do almost everything together. We would talk for hours and hours on the phone and our conversation subjects were endless. However, one year ago, things started to change between us. Something started to appear between us. When we would meet each other, we would get close to each other. Once, we were so close that we nearly kissed. We were less than an inch away from each others lips but we both hesitated. Ever since that moment I would have this tingly feeling inside of me. Whenever I would think about her, I would have this amazing feeling. I didn't understand what was happening and then it hit me. I was in love with her. I was in love with her...
Time passed and things got more and more intense. Alone, we would hold each other and we would hold hands. When our hands touched, I knew that she was feeling the same thing as I was. I knew that she cared for me and I knew that she was happy with me. I knew... I knew that she loved me.
At night, we would still talk for hours and hours and one night, she asked me to marry her. Not now though but she knew that in the distant future we would get married. I was so happy but then she said something that crushed my joy. She didn't want to go out with me yet. She said we were too young and that she didn't want to ruin our relationship. She promised that we would go out someday but that day wouldn't be anytime soon.
Three nights ago, during one of our deep conversation, she would keep on repeating that she loved me. Every few minutes she would say that she loved me. Her voice changed when she said those words that night. I wanted her so badly at that moment so I asked her to be my girlfriend but she refused. She told me not to wait for her and she told me to not to hope. She didn't want me to get hurt.
During the day, I was happy. I felt like the men in those Viagra commercials.
The next night, everything came crashing down on me. She told me that no matter what happened, she wouldn't go out with me and that she wouldn't go to be with me anything time soon. She didn't want me. In an instant, everything was over. I asked five questions to her.
Q:Are you in love with me?
A: Yes.
Q: Do you want to go out with me?
A: No.
Q: Nothing will change your previous answer?
A: I don't know. Just to be sure though, nothing will change my answer.
Q: Do you want a relationship with anybody else?
A: I just don't want to go out with you specifically.
Q: Why?
A: Because I don't want to. Don't wait for me and don't hope. Please.
I was angry, frustrated and I felt as if she filled my heart with love just to break it. I felt used.
Tonight, she called. At one point, she got really angry and she hung up on me without saying goodbye.
Here I am. It's 3:02 am. I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about her.
Is it normal for me to think about this and are her answers to my questions normal?