Is it normal that i still want to be with my girlfriend?

63% Normal
12 Comments

After being broken up with my girlfriend for about a month, we decided to give it another shot(this particuallar incident took place a few months ago). we werent boyfriend and girlfriend but did make a promise to eachother that we wouldnt date other people. so i basically got my shot to make things right with her again like i desperately wanted. only this time i am the one who is getting hurt. for the first time in my life i am having trust issues. she has lied to me numerous times over the past few months. she was even talking to a guy behind my back. since we were only dating i couldnt really get mad at her. but point is that she lied to me, and that one hurt. after a few days she told me she really missed me and that she was very sorry. she said shes never going to do it agian. she said that shes just scared that im going to go back to my old ways of kind of being a "jerk" you could say. she told me she realized that i have changed and ive been so sweet to her but shes still scared so she has back up guys just in case we dont work. she told me shes going to stop talking to guys. she really begged for me back. i took her back and i have really been trying my best to trust her. just as i was finally believing that maybe she has changed her lying ways, i catch her in another one(more of a minor lie, but still a lie nonetheless). i try my best to understand her and i forgive her. just yesterday she askes me if it's ok for her to hang out with one of her guy friends at a baseball game this week. i really dont like the idea but i have to say yes to show her i am willing to trust her. but then she askes if she can go to one of her friends party and drink. i admire that shes being honest but im really not ready for her to do that without me because im scared of getting hurt again. i ask her if its ok if i go with her and she says yes but she would rather me not because she wants to hang out with her friends. she assures me that shes not going to hurt me and that she loves me and wants to be with me forever, but im confused and dont know what to believe. i cant totally blame her for being the way she is because of the type of family that shes from. her mom and sisters are kind of the same way that my girlfriend is. i have to add though that my girlfriend is on a way better track than the rest of her family and i really believe she only has half her mom in her(metaphorically speaking)i know my situation in my relationship doesnt sound great. i know this girl really loves me, but at times she can get confused and make some poor decisions. she has a really special spot in my heart because of everything that we have been through. id like to believe that things are looking up for us, but i cant deny the fact that she has a very low percentage of my trust. i continue to get hurt and she continues to assure me that shes trying really hard this time to change for me. ive been through alot of pain recently but i still want to be with this girl. is that normal?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 35 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Ryan556
    11 years ago

    Was the sex good?

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  • knoshann
    13 years ago

    It sounds as if you need to start the mental process of letting go. She seems to be wanting space and as for you, it is miserable trying to force a relationship. Maybe you should just go ahead and move on. If she wants to be with you, you will know. If not then at least you aren't worrying over it and can have some peace. Be strong, do what is best for you, and don't think she is the only one out there. If this relationship is over, forcing it is just going to make everyone miserable.

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  • boys-are-toys
    13 years ago

    When i read this it sounded excatly like me with my boyfriend he is the same.... it's not her fault guys talk to her dirty did you even see her talk like that back? probably not. You're too jealous and you guy's will end up breaking up again if you continue to not trust her.. it sound's like she is already trying to get away from you , maybe you should put yourself in her shoes and see what it would be like to have a boyfriend like you.

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    • tnk28
      13 years ago

      oh and by the way she was going along with the way the guy was talking to her. she just apologized and i forgave her

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    • tnk28
      13 years ago

      she has hurt me tho. thats the thing. and when im trying to move on, she comes back to me and apologizes. and i miss her so much that i take her back hoping things will change.

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  • bleach_baby
    13 years ago

    you sound like a complete control freak. Why shouldn't she have guy friends or talk to guys? It sounds to me like you cheated on her in the past and are worried shes going to do it to you.

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    • tnk28
      13 years ago

      when i said she was talking to a guy behind my back, i meant like sending pictures and he was talking to her real dirty. and this is when we were trying to fix our relationship. and i never cheated on her. i am not that type of person.and if i did then trust me i wouldnt be this hurt by her nor would i be this committed after everything weve been through.

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  • Mikael
    13 years ago

    well dude i have been in ur postion well its best theta u let go basically ur her side guy becuz she had lied alot f time to u alredy not point becuz once a cheater alwase a cheater they can do it over and over becuz they think they can well lt it go slowly cuz if she realli loves u she should able to stick jux to u basically ur on a side line and shes not meant for u go watch 500 days of summer thats the movie for u

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    • tnk28
      13 years ago

      ya get what your saying, but thing is; she never cheated on me. ya while we were exclusively dating she was talking to someone else but never cheated. since we have been together there havnt been any other guys; just me. and even tho her lies have lessened a little bit, she still continues to make small white lies here and there. thats y im scared. and thats y i dont know if i can trust her at parties. thats where im confused on if i should let her go to them or not. she feels i should because she feels i should trust her. and if i say i dont trust her it makes me seem like the bad guy. yea i know, difficult huh?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    i know exactly how you felt. just be good to her, tell her that you really love her, shes your everything and you really want this to work perfectly. sooner later she will realize that you are really serious about the relationship and hopefully she will change and appreciate what you did. dont get overly jealous or mad, trust, love and understand her. to love is to take risks. be patient..

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    • tnk28
      13 years ago

      I appreciate ur comment. However, i have been nothing but sweet to her. when we were together the first time she never lied to me. its ironic because i was considered the "bad" one. the roles have sinced changed and it feels like im constantly being betrayed. i know for a fact this girl really, really loves me. she just cant seem to make the right decisiones at times. she does have a special place in my heart so i dont have the courage to leave her. i see signs that shes becomming more honest and open again, but i just dont know how much more i can take before i reach that point where i just cant trust her for good.

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  • Wierdmyself
    13 years ago

    It's normal, but not right. Stop being so jelous and mistrustful, if it happens, it happens. But she's still with you so, stop worrying.

    I worry my girl will change her mind about me. I love her, I'll never b angry at her. But, I'm afraid she'll think I'm a creep or a "jerk". She's promised me she wont, and tells me she "loves & wants me" all the time. Slowly my heart is growing more & more trusting.

    Ur worry will slowly vanish, it takes time. Don't make urself worry, and if it happens... its her fault. I'm sure u'll find another, or some other way to b happy.

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