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And his infidelity resulted in the girl getting pregnant (she isn't going through with the pregnancy though)
He apologized a billion times and promised he wouldn't do it again so I decided to stay with him but EVERYONE calls me crazy for not breaking up with him. What do you think? Is it normal to forgive a cheater?
Did he tell you shortly after he slept with her, because he was wracked with guilt? Or did someone else tell you, or did you find out on your own, or did he confess because he had to?
If he told you of his own accord, knowing you wouldn't find out otherwise, then his claiming that he won't do it again is reasonable. If he tried to conceal it, lied about it, or told you because he had to (eg because she or someone else was going to tell you, or because he had to cuz she got pregnant) then he is comfortable deceiving you, any remorse he has is only because he got caught, and knowing that you forgave him once means he WILL do it again.
He told me a week ago. He slept with her a little over a month ago. He told me because he "felt the need to come clean and didn't want to lie anymore". He could have just paid his half for the abortion and then took the secret to the grave. I wouldn't have had any way of finding out. But he decided to tell me, so i guess that should count for something...right?
Hmm....tough one to be honest. I'd feel pretty unhappy that he was capable of acting like nothing had happened for such a long time, but you're right, his honesty should count for something. Are you sure you'd have no way of knowing? Like you don't know the girl he slept with at all? Not even through mutual friends even if you've never met her?
If there was no connection between this girl and you at all, then I'd take his apology at face value. Whether you can truly forgive him is up to you though.
I don't think you're crazy for not breaking up with him. It is completely up to you whether you accept his apology or not. If you believe that he's sincere then it should not matter what other people think.
There are some men and women who will always have a tendency to philander. However, there are others who can legitimately be a victim of circumstance; people who would not normally engage in sexual activities outside of a a relationship, but find themselves in a predicament where it is extremely difficult to back out of. Like if a guy is drunk and another woman aggressively seduces him. Or a woman who is in extreme distress and is surreptitiously consoled by someone who wants to screw her brains out and will do anything to make it happen.
Relationships are rarely black and white because people come in a variety of personalities with different backgrounds and needs.
You will know what is right for you and don't let the opinions of others dissuade you.
I know a couple who went through this. The woman forgave him, now they are happily married, 5 children. However she never forgot, she says every time he goes out to buy cigarettes she looks at him thinking where is he really going, but 10 minutes later he is back with those cigarettes.
When she found out that her husband (boyfriend back then) cheated on her, her mother gave her an advice, which I believe is very wise, she said "if you could take this one day out of your lives, can you live with the rest of them?".
I would say you're an idiot for going back to him. Once a cheater always a cheater. He did it once, he'll do it twice.
Never forgive someone who didn't care enough to be faithful in the first place.
ya cuz he was so sorry when his unprotected dick smashed that girl and came inside her
It's normal, but that doesn't mean you should do it! That's awful what he did, like moomus said. He didn't care enough to be faithful to you in the first place, what's the point? Forgiving a cheater is like giving them permission to do it again (they think it has no consequences, and you won't leave because you'll believe them each time).
I've been cheated on before, so I understand that you don't want to leave. BUT, you need to respect yourself and remember that you don't deserve someone cheating on you.
ALSO another huge thing to consider is the possibilities of STDs. Who the hell was this girl? She could have had an STD, he didn't know, and he might've caught it... Better to dump him, all things considered!
I think we'd have to know many details about your relationship in order to give you an actual opinion.
Typically, you should break up with anyone who cheats. Although, nobody here knows your relationship.
Be with him, but now you get to cheat if you want to, which is better, than not being able to cheat. So, there.