Is it normal that i still miss my ex girlfriend after nearly 2 years?

Is it normal that I still miss my ex after nearly two years? We dated for 2.5 years. My only relationship so far, and I still love her so much, though I haven't seen her since the breakup.
Things fell apart when she went to college. It had been a long distance relationship for a while by then but just got worse then. She stopped texting me and we only got to see each other twice a month (once a month in certain cases). She always talked about her guy-friends and even though I'm not a jealous person it got very worrying. She made some mistakes and I sort of had a breakdown (not just over her, I had been in a bad place in my life for a while by then) and she left me. It felt like I was supporting the relationship on my own, for about 6 months.
I feel like I'd still have her if the physical distance hadn't thrown us apart. I wanted to marry this woman but I can't tell if she loved me till the end or if she left cause she felt she was hurting me too much. I don't think she cares for me anymore and it hurts so much. Especially when I have no one new to turn to...

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79% Normal
Based on 102 votes (81 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • anon42

    Mmmpfh,
    I think it's completely normal. I'm going through the same thing right now. It's funny, because your situation sounds incredibly similar to the one I had with my own ex boyfriend.

    We dated almost 2 years ago, we texted all the time. It's funny you mention her talking about her guy friends because I would do that too haha, but I would only do it to make him jealous in a teasing way! Although now I really regret doing it to him and wonder if it bothered him as much as it bothered you. At one point I did stop texting him, but it wasn't because I didn't want to talk to him, to the contrary, it was because I too was going through a lot of bad things in my life; I couldn't find the courage to speak to him about them.
    At one point things in my life got so bad, I worried that they might affect his own life. So I thought if I stopped texting him entirely, maybe he would break the relationship himself so he wouldn't be as broken if I did it. And maybe he would find someone else who would provide him a healthier and more stable relationship.
    but...I don't think you could be him since I never left him. In my relationship he was the one that ended it.

    but you know...I think about him too, and I miss him a lot more than I should and I know I need to get over him...but I was about to ask the same question you did on this website.

    I wanted to marry this guy too once, but I'm pretty certain he doesn't care about me anymore. He messages me every now and then, but when I reply, he doesn't respond, and I feel as though he just doesn't care and is doing it to be polite. Also someone told me he's dating someone else now, so i'm almost positive he really doesn't care, regardless, I'm so happy and proud of him and hope her life is more stable than mine to give them both a happier, stronger, long lasting relationship.

    What i'm trying to say is: sometimes people have good intentions, but they come out wrong (like me talking about my guy friends), or simply because of bad circumstances in life or they don't know how to deal with it properly. In the end, they may feel the same way you do, and are also too afraid to speak up about it because they feel you too aren't interested anymore. It never hurts to ask them about it...if it turns out she doesn't still feel the same way, (as I do about my ex), then maybe just stay friends, I mean, if she really didn't like you, she wouldn't have responded to your messages at all (which is why I even respond to my ex). Many of my friends won't respond when their ex's try to message them. (Although everyone is different).

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    • Mmmpfh

      Wow. That was the best piece of advice any one has ever given me on this dilemna. I'm promoting you to Commander Amazing.
      I couldn't believe as I read that, you sounded just like her. And I even thought it could even be her, till you stated that he left you in the end, which is the only difference I can see so far!
      I've been having a terrible time dealing with the thought of how she treated me in comparison to her guy friends. You have made everything make so much more sense. I was never a jealous guy, but the fact that she stopped texting me, it was like she stopped because she was enjoying their company more, and it ate away at me.
      You made me remember how she too went through some taxing situations when things got bad and they severely affected our time together, especially on the intimacy front of things.
      I even did what you said your ex does to you! I texted her (about twice total) just to say something like "Happy Birthday :)" but never replied after that. I felt it wasn't my place. It was my way of showing her I care without bringing up old pains. I didn't to risk upsetting her.
      And in my case my ex is also dating someone new. I hear he's just like me. But rich. ¬_¬
      It's upseting of course, but if he truly is a nice guy and treats her with the same respect I treated her with, then I can live with it.
      Anyway, thank you for the advice! We are not alone in our troubles.

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  • BrotherDan

    I had a simular experience a couple years back. She was my first girlfriend and we dated around 1 and 1/2 years. I thought she loved me as much as I loved her, but she ended it.
    I was in a low spot for a really long time. I can tell you "It gets better." It's hard to get over your first love, especaily if they're the one to end it. But, over time, you'll find youself able move on.

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    • Mmmpfh

      One of my main issues with moving on is that I have no idea how she felt by the end of our relationship. Did she really love me till the end? I have no idea and I feel like everything would be so much clearer if I could find out...

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      • joybird

        She will never tell you the truth about how she felt at the end in case she hurts you all over again. However, if she still loved you as much as you loved her then it would never have ended - sorry :o(

        Just give it time and keep your eyes open for the next love of your life.

        I had a few long term (and long distance) relationships but looking back, I can only fall to my knees and thank God that I never married any of them. I know now that I would've been very unhappy and divorced.

        What's for you won't go past you - chill out.

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      • BrotherDan

        joybird's right. Moving on is the course of action here. Probbing for a spark that most likely died out a while ago will only serve to confuse and hurt you more. I'm sorry.

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        • Mmmpfh

          Buh. I would love to fully move on. I really would.
          It distracts me at work and while I'm socializing. Though she does get brought up alot when I'm with friends, and that can be quite a downer on the evening for me.
          Whenever I'm fantasizing about my future, whatever I'm thinking about, she always squirms her way into that thought, and I don't even realise it till it's too late.
          I've only contacted her once properly since we broke up. A couple of months ago now. I didn't get the feeling she was forcing it, but the conversation was pretty boring. Talking about how we are and such moved onto work and bleh.

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  • lishaNaidoo

    the husband i used to love with all my heart divorced me i was heartbroken, i cried every now and then. i tried everything but nothing came alright, luckily enough i was browsing on the internet and i saw testimony of clients who talked about dr.marnish, i thought may be its also one of the scamming spell caster,but my heart insisted on it until i contacted him i used his spell and it worked so nice, his spell made my husband to take me back as his wife, has not only made my man to accept me back but also his spell made my husband to love me the more, anyone who want his or her lover back to contact dr.marnish or call him +1 5 0 3 6 6 2 6 9 3 0 him
    lisha Naidoo

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  • cammers

    well hopefully a great girl will come along and you'll forget all about that girl.

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  • cammers

    long distance relationships never really work i would move on from this there is probably someone way better for you yeah it might take work finding her but it will be worth it in the long run.

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    • Mmmpfh

      I sure wish they would. I'm moving around the country alot. It's gonna be a while till I can start a stable relationship again.
      It will take time, and it will be worth it, I know. But in the meantime I have to just deal with this pain till I meet that someone.

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      • cammers

        yeah the pain sucks i know but just try and focus on other stuff and keep yourself busy it helps

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        • Mmmpfh

          Yes it does. And I have been keeping myself busy, but still the memory of her distracts me from what I am doing. Sometimes I zone out completely at work and it's only when someone calls my name that I snap back to reality. :\

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