Is it normal that i still have feelings for a girl who played games?

I met a girl on Twitter in September, we had an instant connection and we fell in love very quickly. After about a week or two we moved into a relationship. Then a week later I moved away from home to work at a theme park, which is closer to her place than were I lived, at home. We promised to meet a few times, we were so deeply in love. Then after I did the move I starting losing my feelings for her, I was too busy to talk and by the time I was back at my flat I was tired and wanted to sleep. I was on a bus one evening and was asking my two friends on what to do, as I still loved this girl. But I was totally unsure if I really wanted to break up with her. My reason to was because I didn't feel committed enough anymore, she deserved another man. After the break up she messaged me on Twitter, teasing me on what I'd be missing out on (sexually), so we started talking again, lured in by her attractive sense. We then turned from in love to, in lust. We started sexting. She sent me a picture of her tits, I was teasing her but didn't think she was being serious, I ended up sending her a picture of my dick because of the current situation, two way game sort of thing. I didn't want her to think I'd use the picture or anything. I guess it was love that made me do such a thing. I forgot to mention that a week after we met on Twitter, we had planned to meet in person for a gig on the 7th October. I lost my virginity that night. I knew it was coming, but I was too scared to say no and waste a good chance to see what sex was like, and another side didn't because I was already quite insecure and I never like to break a girl's heart. But I was sort of pushed on by her and some friends of mine, my friend's told me "if she's hot then go for it man!", I wasn't keen on their answer, but she insisted that we meet up as we're "young and should just give it a go, and if not just fuck it and live our lives".
During sex it didn't feel right, felt like I was breaking a serious law, like a murder or something. After I ejaculated in her mouth I rushed into the toilet, locked the door and sat on the toilet thinking about what I had just done, I felt like I had raped her or something. I asked her if she could go home the next day too, I was shaken from that night.
Few weeks past by and our closeness starts to fade, we don't talk every night and we have an argument and cut communications from each other, she starts seeing someone, I get upset and then the time between November to January becomes the most depressing stage I've ever encountered in my life. I felt so depressed, and really regretted meeting her.
Everytime I masterbate I think of that night I now find it really beautiful, and I start wanting to flirt with her and want to meet up with her so we can have sex again. But after I ejaculate I feel a strong shadow of guilt, and have to hide any contact of her, such as Facebook photo's etc.

We're back friends again and trying to build a good strong bond. She's been really depressed like me too, we really missed each other when we cut connections. It's been such a rollercoaster. But now we're on good terms I feel even more strongly in love with her, is this a normal relationship?