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Of course I'm not going to do it. Its just when someone is rude or wrongs me I set up this plan in my head about hurting of killing them.
Also, when I was little I used to walk around in my robe with a plastic kitchen knife in my pocket. My parents alowed be to watch Dexter for some reason.
Yeah, that was definitely a mistake on their part. It's normal to have fucked up thoughts though. Just keep them in your head.
Normal I do too towards people who are horrible to me. But I think of it as comedic rather than disturbing, like killing them in some cartoon like itchy and scratchy it makes me feel better to imagine that, but I have no intent to harm anyone
Anyone who drives could tell you that at some point while driving they had a split second thought of "how many people could I kill if I just swerved into this lane or sidewalk with the foot on the pedal" thinking about violent thoughts is just thinking. You dont do it for moral reasons (hopefully) and even then you have to worry about laws and shit.
Just watch Louis C.k. bit about if murder was legal. Everyone would murder someone, because everyone thinks about doing it at some point. The vast majority just dont.
The OP is just worried about thinking about hurting people. Which it minor compared to how some people vent anger through fantasy.
But most people experience intrusive thoughts at some point or another. People who act like this is some psychotic thinking when most people experience those kinds of thoughts. Hell when my wallet was stolen I thought excessively about blowing the guys kneecaps off with a shotgun. I didnt have a shotgun or know who took my wallet but violent thoughts happen. We are human.
If it's just occasionally than its normal. It's like driving and then for a brief moment you think about just mowing down people on the sidewalk. Doesnt mean you are crazy.
The average person thinks about murder every 2 or so weeks.