Is it normal that i slapped my grandmother?

20% Normal

My grandmother and I went out today. While we were out she would not stop complaining about my father (her son) and how he doesn't call or spend time with her, and how she sent him a letter about her complaints but he hadn't replied. Eventually, I got so fed up that I slapped her across the face. I immediately felt guilty and almost started crying. I kept apologizing over and over again. Her face was slightly red afterwards but it went away almost immediately. She slapped me twice back but very lightly, she said I did not want to be slapped as hard as I had slapped her. She assured me that it was ok and she understood, but I still felt so guilty. Please tell me what I can do to make up for this? Should I tell my mom what I did?

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20% Normal

Based on 51 votes (10 yes)

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Comments ( 47 )

Trianka

6 years ago

You realise that it was wrong and you feel guilty about it. It also sounds as if you did it without thinking, more of a "reflex" that comes from your loyalty towards your dad (no matter how shitty a parent can be, a child will never accept anyone else but them talking bad about their parents. That's loyalty. I'm not saying you father is a shitty parent, just showing how deep a child's loyalty goes.). You feel bad, you both seem to talk it out in some way, I think you can let this go whenever you feel ready. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. Not feeling guilty at all, not questioning your acts at all is what makes one less humane. But, you do feel and you do question. Next step then: how to control your anger so it won't happen again? And then it'll be fine.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Thank you so much. I really wasn't thinking when I did it. I was trying to be understanding but was also annoyed that she kept complaining and wouldn't snap out of it. She's been complaining about my dad to me since I was in 4th grade (going into 12th now). I really wish my dad would be nicer to her.
  
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  - Trianka
    
    6 years ago
    
    Your grandmother feels hurt because she feels as if you father doesn't care about her anymore. Maybe she doesn't have anyone to talk to about it, or she feels most comfortable sharing it with you. However, he's still your dad and your loyalty towards him is what gets you upset about it. Maybe you could discuss this with you grandmother? And maybe bring it up to your dad, get him to talk to her about it (letters aren't going to help much)? Although I do think this isn't and shouldn't be your task, you're just a kid caught in between. I hope things will turn out better for all of you. And no problem ;)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I feel bad that I am one of the only people for her to talk to about this. She told me not to discuss it with my dad because she wants any change to come from him, otherwise it wouldn't be as meaningful.
      
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      - Trianka
        
        6 years ago
        
        I get that she thinks that, however, maybe your dad isn't fully aware how your grandmother feels. A letter isn't really clear enough, she needs to express what she expects from him face to face (letters do not show any body language, but body language tells so much more about what you have to say than the words you use).
        People often think that other people simply know what they expect (because people often assume other people hold the same standards), but that's far from true. Communication is key and your grandmother needs to communicate what she feels and expects towards your father. If your father is willing to listen to her, they can compromise about what works best. Maybe your father is fine with how much time he spends with your grandmother, and as long she isn't going to be clear about her feelings and expectations to him, he'll keep thinking everything is fine.
        And also, do not forget yourself in this. As I said before, you're just a teen, you shouldn't get caught up too much in between relationship-issues of your parents, grandparents, ....
        You as well have to communicate how it makes you feel when she talks this way about your father. That talking to you about it isn't going to change things (unless you talk to your father, but she doesn't want you to and again, that's not your job. It's her's). That you appreciate it that she trusts you but unless she's going to open up to your father, in person, nothing's going to suddenly change. She has been talking to you about this for about 8 years so that's enough proof (and 8 years, well, I still don't think it's ok but I get that you had your moment of snapping).
        It also sounds like you care a lot about your family and can't stand to see anyone feeling hurt. I think you just want them to all just get along, but they still have to put in the work (and actually, be an example to you on how to communicate about feelings and expectations). I also believe that when you open up to your grandmother about how this all makes you feel, you'll drop a lot of that build up tension you've kept inside for years.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        I really don't know what to do. I want to talk to him about this, but she made me promise not to even though I told her I wanted to. I have also already talked to him about this sort of thing in the past but nothing has come of it. I really wish they would get along better. Thank you so much for talking to me and for being so understanding.
        
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sinister-motives-voyeur-bliss

6 years ago

They can be the worst !!! they need a slap when they step out of line.
(they think they are the boss) She is too arrogant to realise that she gives her son the shits and he's sick of her crap.

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TheExtinctOne

6 years ago

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I have a grandmother who I would love to do that to. I wouldn't, though, because then I would be grounded until I graduate college. I'm 26, but my parents wouldn't care.

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NahFam

6 years ago

Hmmm, so if someone says something you dont like you end up slapping them, gee your a great person to be around :P

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I don't usually do things like that.
  
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JuiceHarp

6 years ago

You completely overreacted.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I know that.
  
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  - JuiceHarp
    
    6 years ago
    
    That's a step.
    
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dreamygirl

6 years ago

you seriously need some anger management classes. Seems like you get irritated very easily!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I don't usually do anything like that. I don't know what got into me.
  
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Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg

6 years ago

I didn't read a fuckin thing about it but always do this when an elderly is being tough to deal with always tell yourself oh well they are old... Maybe they have a medical problem or something... Be the bigger person and let it be.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  She is wacky but always has been. She is lucid and does not have any sort of medical problems. I try to be more understanding because of her age though, I don't know what got into me.
  
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imbanksnr

6 years ago

you should have done that, even your dad shouldn't have done that either. Tell your parents what you did before they get to know it themselves and put you into more troubles.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I do not think they would find out though unless I told them. I am worried I would lose my moral high ground to be able to tell them to be nicer to her.
  
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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

I know I need to. I don't usually do anything even close to that though. I don't know what got into me.

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sinister-motives-voyeur-bliss

6 years ago

She kept complaining after the slap, ughh, repeaters (bangs head against wall). My father is a drunk and repeats, and i hate it. Hey listen here lady !!! your not a wuss are you, you,ve got me angry now. You don't let your family run you down, if they do , you hurt them back.

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Cuntsiclestick

6 years ago

Hearing someone complain can be annoying, but slapping them isn't the answer. It's a good thing you apologized and are still on good terms.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I know it isn't the answer, I feel really bad about it.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    6 years ago
    
    If you guys made up, what's left to feel bad about? Enjoy your time together.
    :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      Thank you!
      
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Annie25

6 years ago

Dude !!! WTF yeah i agree sometimes elderly get a BIT annoying but then they are older than you.
She was trying to share her pain with you how her son never talks to her and all and what you did?
Fuck you man

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I am crying right now reading some of these replies. I feel so guilty. I almost want to delete my profile and stop giving other people advice because I am such a shitty person myself. She keeps complaining about this all the time and I was just fed up. Even afterwards she kept complaining and I tried to listen. I feel so bad and don't know what to say.
  
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  - Annie25
    
    6 years ago
    
    hey man look .. yeah what you did was not right but its okay you got to move on.. talk to her dont let her feel lonely.. shit happens and every person here on this very website has a dark side.
    there are so many people who do this on a daily basis.. you realised what you did and the fact it was so very wrong.. thats the good part :)
    and yeah about her complaining thing just tell her straight away what you feel and try to be polite.. :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      Thank you. I know what I did was not right. I want to be there for her, I feel bad that I am one of the only people she has to talk to about this, but I get so bogged down. I love her so much and want her to trust me and be able to confide in me when she needs to, but I also want to talk about other things with her also.
      
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  - Nastynate
    
    6 years ago
    
    Dude screw her you acted and you're feeling bad about it. Means you've got a conscience. You need to stop letting her run down everything. I have dealt with this in my own life. If you can't get her to understand why you slapped her and what she's doing is essentially terrorism, then you need to get away from her. Asap
    
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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

That was kinda shitty.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I know, I feel so bad, I am almost crying right now I feel so guilty.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    Well, you should feel guilty, it's not cool to hit yo granny.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      What can I do to make up for it?
      
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- sinister-motives-voyeur-bliss
  
  6 years ago
  
  So glad this topic came up. Darling, please don't comment with pointless banter.
  
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bambigirlx

6 years ago

not normal. but at least you felt guilt. you're human. we're all human. but it sounds like she's hurting and you just need to control yourself. i doubt you are a bad person or you wouldn't be posting this here. it was a sensitive topic.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I feel so guilty I don't know what to do.
  
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  - Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg
    
    6 years ago
    
    You have to apologize, take flowers admit your wrong doings and promise you'll never let your own temper get the best of you when it comes to your individual ever again and follow thru with your promise. Maybe if you can afford to get her something special soon after that's she would love to have. Got my mum a DNA test for Ancestry for example, did not hit the bitch though not in me to do so... Just wanted her to know how thoughtful I am on mothers day.
    
    Rockbiter:
    So, so it's not just in our part of Fantasia?
    
    Nighthob:
    Maybe, it's already everywhere...
    
    (Nighthob hisses looking around suspiciously smelling the air.)
    
    Maybe our whole land is in danger. What can we do?
    
    Rockbiter:
    My people are sending me to the Ivory Tower, to the Empress for help
    
    Nighthob and Tiny:
    We are..
    
    Tiny:
    We are on the same mission. After all, if the Empress can't save us, who could?
    
    Nighthob:
    Then why are we all just standing around here instead of taking off for the Ivory Tower?
    
    Tiny:
    Right, what are we waiting for ?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I already apologized repeatedly. I don't think I can afford to get her something really special. I'm 17 with no job and I let my mom control my money so I would have to have an explanation for needing more. Maybe I can get my grandmother some inexpensive jewelry or something?
      
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Zorak

6 years ago

What the fuck?

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i slapped my grandmother?