Is it normal that i seem to follow self-limiting social patterns?

So, I have been paying attention to my interactions with other people, I am at college and I would say I get along fairly well with the people I chat to. Interestingly, I've observed that my interaction patterns are "unusual". What I mean by this is that although they work, they tend to feel very superficial, and I am hyper-aware of what I am about to say. I go through the timing, cadence, and facial expressions in my head to ensure that when I say my piece, it will be received in the manner I desire. I am not disingenuous though, rather, I am being strategic in preventing myself from saying something stupid.

Overall, this has developed into behavioural patterns that I am very aware of. Generally people are charmed by the first few conversations we have, but after that, I am unable to "give" any of myself to the interaction in earnest, nor do I take anything meaningful from it. Most of the time I take a back seat in group conversations, and these patterns have meant that I am not enjoying socialising, and it is very much preventing me from expanding my social life. People eventually realise the interaction is a zero sum game and get bored.

I would be very grateful should someone share their own experience regarding this theme. If someone knows more about the patterns involved and how to break them, that would be an incredible help. (Providing it's actually not normal!... Is it?)