Is it normal that i reject people in order to be happy?

71% Normal
11 Comments

Last night I was reminiscing about my whole life. And how I've been happy the periods of my life that I am alone, doing the things I enjoy the most and simply being happy. And whenever someone comes up, they always take advantage of me (of my good and understanding nature) , take my time, reject me or make me suffer. For such reason I think I am in a row of bad luck and that I don't really want to keep trying to get into relationships or get new friends if what with what I have I am more than content.

I have asked myself why does it always end up this way, I am good-hearted and perhaps people out there are selfish, unkind and I don't know. But I feel like is "trying" is not worth it, after all I just end up getting hurt. Even though I did try my best with those people in my past, they never did anything for me and ended up abandoning me, rejecting me or using me. They made me feel like I was out of place, inadequate or perhaps even non-existent. One used me for sex, the other to quench loneliness, ect. ect It is an unbelievable row of failures one after another. Therefore, is it normal that I decide to stop trying? That I decide to keep my heart to myself in being alone and just be as I've always been happy by myself? And stop trying to make someone happy since it seems it's all an utter waste of my time.

I'm perhaps very hurt, but I don't really lose anything because after all I was kind, good and honest. If the world (or the world i've interacted with) rejected that time after time, well that's their problem right? I'll always be with myself and I've always been the most happiest the moments people don't step in to lead me on, use me and then throw me away. Therefore is it normal that I decide to shut out the world? Keep the friends and people that have always loved me and cared for me and deny any possible romantic interest?

I've been abandoned too many times and rejected, it really strains my heart. And perhaps because of that I could never reject or abandon someone, but enough is enough... people don't really seem to appreciate anything not in the least.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 45 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • hairyfairy
    11 years ago

    I feel the same way, because when I look back over that friends that Iv`e had, theyv`e mostly turned out to be users out for what they can get. Now I`m very careful not to trust anyone.

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  • intellectuallychallengedmaybe
    11 years ago

    "I've been abandoned too many times and rejected, it really strains my heart. " so sorry to hear this. you should take some time to be alone and heal. this is normal to feel this way, and i think everyone above this comment thinks its normal as well.

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  • Sumi
    11 years ago

    You try to appease everyone's needs. My good nature was viewed as weakness growing up. People are like vultures. I learned to show some teeth and it ultimately weeded out the bad ones.

    Kindness reinforces bad behavior. You only get what you give. If you give love and receive none then stop.

    Relationships will work out if you set standards and expectations. Voice your opinions. When you notice people coming and going in your life with the best staying your effectively filtering. They need to prove worthiness of your deep affection for others. It is a gift reserved for those that love you in return.

    It sounds like you just exited a relationship. Care to share with us what happened?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Well, It's just that it has been always this way. I show affection, understanding and give what I've got to give. However it seems that I just have bad luck, people don't seem to understand me, appreciate me or be affectionate of me.

      This last guy I gave him gifts accompanied with letters telling him that I wanted to see him smile. After months of long night talking, picking drunken calls, showing that I cared... everything ,I told him that I liked him and he told me "I never noticed it." I've been hurt too many times that perhaps it doesn't hurt me as much as it should, but it bothers me that people are so selfish and stupid to say "I never noticed." it plagued my head with questions such as:

      Was I not trying hard enough? Did I do something wrong? How could you not notice?

      If I get you chocolates and tell give you a letter saying "I'm giving you these because I know you like them ,I know they will make you smile." and talk to you often , tell you that I like hearing about you and the stuff that you are doing? I would be ok with "I don't like you back. Sorry." because people are free to choose with who they want to be, but say "I didn't notice"? that passes a tad the line of cruelty doesn't it? And such is my luck, apparently I end up with twisted individuals that feed off my attention and kindness... and I stay giving them a chance, however then I get twisted enough and lash out, finally cut it off because I say "What's in it for me?" because I told him we could be friends ,we didn't speak for a week and he wrote to me "The kind of person that destroys everything because he didn't get what he desired. That's you." that is just plain mean and when I confronted him about the test he said "Oh it's because you had not written to me back..." but you just don't insult someone like that? alas, twisted people. So I'm gonna sit back and let this unwind, after all they always miss me and say nice things to me after they've beaten me to a pulp. Then I sneer at them "too bad, try again in a thousand years." because it can get tiredsome to play the victim's role, to see how they try and do manipulate you, and you just simply play along, because you think perhaps you are wrong... but you are not, they're all jackasses.

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  • bemah
    11 years ago

    Trust me, rejecting people will not make you happy! You can still have time to yourself regardless. If people care they will understand.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Yeah why not.

    There are so many twats cunts shits bollox.

    Keep safe and trust no one.

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  • Thatguy777
    11 years ago

    I think it is normal for someone has been hurt multiple times by people to harden their hearts and want to be alone more often. The last girl I had feelings for really broke my heart, and ever since then the last thing I wanted was a relationship with someone, because I don't want the same thing to happen again. I'm better off just staying single for a while, so I actually understand how you're feeling:

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  • searchingnow
    11 years ago

    People suck. I'm so sick of being criticized I don't even let people know my choices in entertainment, much less anything important.

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    • BLAh81
      10 years ago

      You're a person. Guess you suck too.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I kill people and make sex with their corpses in order to be happy.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    What is also kinda funny that people think I smart and good-looking and when I asked a guy about why I had such a bad luck and that no one ever asked me out. He says "Y-you're just intimidating, you know so many things, got a terrific smile and you're a charm. Where are your flaws? You don't even say anything stupid, you are kind , understanding and mean when you need to be." So what am I supposed to do, act like a moron or something?

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