Is it normal that i rarely have a good time with girls?

61% Normal
12 Comments

As the suggestion reveals, is it really normal that i rarely laugh at what Girls has to say, or just show that i enjoy their Company?

I´ve never had physical intimacy with a girl in my Life, the closest i´ve ever come has been a hug and a kiss on the cheek ( and that was accidental from the Girls part .) And this is bugging me since i really need warmth and intimacy, not neccesary a relationship because i am very focused at what i do, i Think some would even call me a work-junkie. However, i´ve analyzed for years as to why i never seem to get a Girls attention and make her interested, i´ve after all Heard from Girls that i´m good looking/cute.

Then it striked me, that i for some reason seem to ignore them.I hate when people in general small talk and discuss meaningless subjects, i hate giving fake compliments ( to Girls and boys alike, but Girls in this case :P ) Just to get her attention, the rule to make a woman like you; Make her feel special. Problem is that i´ve never been able to do this, if i´ve met 100 Girls in my lifetime, i can maybe say that 5 of them i´ve genuienly told ; Wow you are special, or wow that was great work! And often these Girls do things that general people dont do; Drawing, play instruments, involved in sports. Anything that stands out from the crowd really.

Problem is, that i really need intimacy and warmth, i´ve been neglected that my entire Life and it´s really affecting my mental Health. It would be so much easier if i could say e.g ; Hey Sara, im not interested in you personally, you are boring as fuck and nothing you say makes you funny or special. However, you are attractive and you Think the same of me, lets be lovers and stop all this " get to know eachother " charade. I know it sounds messed up. But truth is i cannot fake interest in a girl, and i can´t pretend to like her just to have sex with her. I dont wanna scar that person.

I know all this for a fact because i´ve for a long time carefully noticed how Girls who first meet me, or those who have known me for some time. Alkways seem to be dull or serious around me and when some other dude e.g enters the room and opens his mouth her gaze and attention shifts to him and they seem to radiate and the mood is Always light and they are laughing, the things is that people are generally very extroverted and talk alot of nonsense that i simply could not give a fuck about.

Back to the main question, is it really normal that i can´t make them laugh? Dont get me wrong i can be seen as hillarious sometimes, but it´s often when i really dont care what the person has to say about me and i just let loose about whatever i feel. Any advice as how to fix this problem? It´s a dilemma that has been bugging me since i was 13 and im on the verge of a breakdown if i dont get to feel some basic intimacy :/

Sorry for sounding so frustrated, but all this knowledge has been some sort of enlightment for and i felt i really needed to share and hopefully get response from people, maybe someone who has/have a similar situation?`

Take care!

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 18 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Sounds to me what you need are hookers. They will do whatever you want, for however long you want it, with absolutely no bullshit or games, then walk out the door.
    You don't have to make pleasantries or even talk.
    I certainly can see why you've never had physical intimacy with a girl in your life. Every interaction between two (or more) people requires some give and take. Obviously you are willing to do this at work, or you wouldn't have a job. That you won't do it with a girl simply means you really don't want physical intimacy with a girl bad enough to play the game.
    So, if you really want to have physical intimacy with a girl, hire a hooker and you should get exactly what you want.

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    • David.S
      9 years ago

      Yeah you´re right about that part. I want the intimacy, but i hate the game. It makes me sad to see how people fuck eachother over just for their own amusement. And i´m a strong believer in Karma, so me playing the game would just do me worse :/

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  • billtr96sn
    8 years ago

    I think you are gay

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  • MoonlightSin
    9 years ago

    I totally agree with Regisphilburn. Wanna know what's the best intimacy? Having physical intimacy with the one you love and have interest with. It makes the sex great. You have better orgasms. you don't want to stop having sex even if if you're done, because youll love seeing them being in pleasure. You just enjoy it and so does the other person. You say the chicks you talk to are dull or too serious right? Then you haven't met the right one! TALK TO MORE GIRLS. Or just take a break! There will be a girl that'll soon stand out in your eyes, believe it or not. I'd say wait till you find the right chick. Or you could lose your "virginity" or whatever you want to do with a hooker, whore, or someone that has already been all used up and ew. Don't make a decision you'll regret in the future. I use to be like you. There were a few guys that asked me out, but they were just so dull and boring or too serious and that's how i saw every other guy too. I just wanted to try intimacy with someone. I was planning on losing my first kiss with my friend that was a chick because i just wanted to see how it was. And i'm happy as hell I didn't. Because when you lose your pureness to a person, it's the best thing you can give to that person. It's the most special thing. Trust me. I'd say wait.

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  • regisphilbin
    9 years ago

    you can't have real intimacy without really getting to know a girl/woman on a personal and emotional level. feeling her wants and needs, knowing her personality, and actually being interested in her as a person. otherwise it's just mindless sex. meaningful sex isn't just physical.

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    • 53739
      8 years ago

      +1

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    • David.S
      9 years ago

      Guess i just have very Little in common with Girls, and people in general. Because i might aswell have a conversation with a rock, sorry im just not into that all " Tricking her to like you ". How do guys succeed at this is beyond me, i can´t fake it even for a minute without turning off.

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  • ArayaLioness
    9 years ago

    I think this is a problem with some men, but that's not abnormal. It shows that you aren't a player/liar. The other guy simply sounds "more charming" though. I doubt that he'd simply wallow in a less than enticing conversation and would simply vocalize it.

    I would gravitate to a man like that: he speaks his mind, he's not always sullen, and he's CHARMING.

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    • David.S
      9 years ago

      Do you mean because i am not a liar, a douche, a fucking bag full of shit. I´m not charming? Trust me i´ve tried but it doesn´t suit me. I´m the kind of guy that Always tells people what they need to hear not what they want, and this can be misunderstood. I only do it for their own good. But what´s your advice then? I can´t change who i am, how can i use my unique personality to my own benefit?

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      • ArayaLioness
        9 years ago

        Whoa...Lol. You should be yourself and be honest. What I was trying to say was that guy seems a lot more "inviting" and "fun". I don't know you, but you seem uptight. I would want to be around a guy i can relax with.

        You can try smiling more though. That's an invitation to people. Changing the conversation to something everyone would find interesting. If you're an introvert, there's a good book that another Intro said helped him with himself that I can find.

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        • David.S
          9 years ago

          Im definetly not uptight, people actually find me funny, including Girls. Problem is i cary lots of anger/animosity/anxiousness and im Always trying to keep it at bay. Thing is i used to be an introvert, now im more of an ambivert person, society you know, they bring that out of you.

          Sorry for the misunderstanding, this is a very sensitive subject to me!

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  • Darkoil
    9 years ago

    If you are good looking then it isn't too hard to find a fuck buddy. I've quite a few times told various girls that I want to fuck them and that's all it will ever be and I've never been called a dickhead or had bad blood afterwards because I made it clear first what the relationship was going to be, as long as you keep it on the quiet women like those type of relationships.

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