Is it normal that i purposely avoid friendship with single mothers?

85% Normal
6 Comments

I am a 20 year old female. I work full-time (crappy entry level job), go to community college full-time (transferring to University soon), live on my own, own a vehicle, am married and I don't have a criminal record, kid, or any debt that I can not pay off.

I was raised in a military family and later ended up in a single mother, live in boyfriend household. I raised my siblings from the time that they were babies and I spent high school in a bad neighborhood. Many of my female friends ended up getting pregnant and even when I moved to a different state, the majority of my female friends ended up being single mothers.

Now, by single mothers, I am talking about women around my age that are single, have one or two children and are either living on the dole, going to community college or are working shitty jobs. Many of them have GEDs or less and rarely a high school diploma.

Hanging out with them, I heard my share of crap. They didn't feel like using a condom (or were convinced not to), didn't even attempt to get a hold of a plan B pill, didn't get a job until far after the child was born (if any) and oh, how motherhood is so great and I don't know what I missing out on. Oh, how my life is so hard and you don't know what it's like (I can understand that). Oh, you don't know what maturity and responsibility is until you have a kid. Oh, my life was not nearly so fulfilling until I had a kid. Hours and hours worth of parenting advice and lecture of how fantastic motherhood is and how hard their lives are.

Hanging out with them, I often ended up helping them pull some of the weight of raising their kids (being that I raised my own siblings, it's second nature to me) and was constantly having to cart them around in my car (because they had none of their own), worry about accommodating their children and hear about how they are so broke and how I'm so lucky that my life is so easy.

LUCKY?
I partied pretty hard in high school and always used condoms and the pill. If I had no access to birth control then I was as good as celibate. Wasn't going to risk it. When I got out of high school, I was on my own. Worked my ass off to get a decent job and to get into college and to get my car and all my sh*t sorted out. I got by on hard work, a bit of luck, some loans (that I promptly paid back) and common sense. I'm still working on getting my sh*t together.

After a few years of dealing with their condescending, impoverished selves, I'd had it. I stopped hanging out with my single mother friends (it's easy to just say "I'm busy" when I work 40 hours a week, do 12-15 hours of classes and actively go to church). I know I do it on purpose. The sheer stupidity of some of the things that they say and believe and do angered me so much that I couldn't take being around them anymore.

Is this normal?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 34 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Riker300
    12 years ago

    Definitely normal. I'm impressed with the insight you have on the subject and with your desire and pursuit of achieving the quality of life you want. I guess there are some pros to having children earlier in life but only for those that can afford the responsibility and provide for their children adequately. Some say we are who we hang out with.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    i like your story and how you are proud of yourself , but you dont need to badmouth all single mothers at least they are there where are the fathers? all u have to do is mix with different people , especially quiet achievers they are better friends for u

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  • radiatelove
    12 years ago

    not every young single mother is the way you describe them to be though. what you're describing is just irresponsibility and ignorance. depending on the culture and ethnicity it is perfectly normal for some women to have children at a very early age (the women who are over 25 and unmarried without children are actually the outcasts so to speak). Not every young single mother is irresponsible and ignorant. Some have the means to have a child and choose to have one with their partners. If they break up later on or if they separate that's a different problem. No one expects to divorce or break up with someone, most people really think their relationship is forever. you have to remember that in terms of history, going to college and having a career are fairly new developments for women. and as for people who work shitty jobs, some of them don't have a choice. i'm an unemployed student (i can't find a job anywhere, i've applied for a wide variety of jobs from sales girl at an upscale jeans flagship store to cleaning/janitorial positions and gotten rejected) so i know how hard it is out there with all of the competition trying to find jobs. so if you're asking if it's normal to avoid irresponsible people then yes, that's very normal. however it's not normal to generalize and stereotype a whole group of people solely based on a few experiences.

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  • Dozis
    12 years ago

    Single mothers get on my nerves too. I am kidding! I just despise the kind of mothers who think to be mothers all they have to do is being themselves. Like they got born with a special dna string making them perfect mothers no matter what they do. Then you see them making all kinds of stupid errors and still acting like they deserve the "best mommy prize". I mean get out of here!parenting is not supposed to be a leisure activity and kids are not toys for you to play with as if they are the little dolls you played with when you were a child. I am so happy of being a mother blah blah then they turn around and curse and criticize them and secretely regret the day they squeezed em out. Pf.

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  • fliplove
    10 years ago

    You don't need them and society doesn't need them. They will end up eating your tax dollars and asking for more, more, more.

    I don't associate with them either.

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  • DannyKanes
    12 years ago

    Hahahahahahaha, nice try troll! I call you out, try better next time.

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