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So I've always hated the fact that I'm gay but recently I've started coming out to people. So far only 5 people but that's 5 more than I ever thought I would tell. Problem is I've been drunk every time. I literally just can't say the words 'I'm gay' unless I am very very drunk. Is there anyone else who is too scared to say it sober?
I've personally never been drunk, but let me tell you... being out of the closet is quite the relief. I won't lie to you, the beginning is the worst experience ever. I've lost friends, I've lost family, I've even lost sanity and tried to kill myself on three occasions. But through all of those experiences, I've learned that as gay people we're very lucky. Because in many ways we get to "choose" who our families are. For years, the friends that stayed by me were my family, and we had stronger bonds than any "normal" friends. Even some of their parents called me their "gay son". You might go through hell and back coming out, but I used to think of the LGBTQ people in other countries where homosexuality is illegal. Where, understandably, coming out is just not an option for them. But in America we have progressed and are getting better. The more that people come out, the more "normal" we become. And the more people begin to realize that they have a sibling, a child, an aunt or uncle, or co-worker, or whomever is gay, the less ignorant they become. The more society will disapprove of sexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc.
I don't want to mislead you. Coming out IS difficult. I came out when I was 11 years old. It was overwhelming. My overbearing religious father and I still don't see eye to eye, we probably never will either. And it was because of his homophobia I ended up in a hospital for suicide attempt. I was just a child, but I knew who I was. And if I didn't come out to my parents, I was going to keep living a lie. So I panicked and tried to kill myself before he could ever find out.
That's basically what we have to choose in the straight world we live in. Do we come out and go through some small minded scrutiny, or do we spend the rest of our lives living a lie? Now I'm 23 years old, and I teach human sexuality to young adults in high school. I want to teach children the things I wish I knew when I was coming out.
I've learned so much about my identity, as well as sexuality, the LGBTQ community, sociology, psychology, women's and gender studies, feminism, feminist theory, assisted reproductive technology, philosophy, etc etc etc... the list is endless. Knowledge is power. But I don't think I ever would had the passion to learn what I've studied had I not come out. I also wouldn't have been able to save so many lives because many people came to me for guidance when they heard I was gay, and they were afraid to come out. My entire life has taken a 180 degree turn. Just know that no matter what you're going through, it CAN get better- if you don't give up. There is an entire community of people willing to catch you if you do fall. Sometimes you just have to be brave. Try coming out to people you believe are most likely to listen. And work your way to the most difficult later. Good luck. I'm so happy I survived. And it does get better. It got so so much better. :)
Bravo! That is truly a remarkable story, thanks for sharing it!
I personally don't get why parents aren't proud of their children when they come out. Because you should be. The amount of courage it takes to tell a parent, unknowing of what will happen but braving to face the outcome regardless, is truly remarkable. Any parent that has raised a child that is capable of going through that, should really understand how strong that person is.
Carry on friend!
for me i have to be drunk or super hi to hookup with a gay guy, im like that most times, that is just what it takes to get me hot for guys!
when you are drunk lot of the time you don't know what you are doing or saying so its normal to be open when you are drunk.
Maybe it's because when you are drunk you are more disconnected from yourself or how you feel, it's much saying it, much like it's easier to get something of are chest.
Another different example is how someone can say something absolutely dreadful or stupid while drunk and not even skip a beat. But if you were sober you would think about what you were going to say, does it make sense, would it offend somebody, basically, whether it's true or not, I think being drunk makes it easier to say things we normally wouldn't.
There, now I've over-simplified it.