Is it normal that i no longer want contact with my ex-wife's children?

Honestly it would break my heart if my step father no longer wanted contact.

I'm no expert on this matter, but sounds to me that shes trying to take advantange of you. But if the girls cared for you & you for them it would'nt hurt to visit or say hi once in a while. As for how you feel, its totally normal and ok, afterall they arent your real daughters.

Yes it is normal to feel this way. However, it's not the children's fault that your ex-wife likes to jump from man to man. You should not punish them because you're angry with her. You were these children's father for 10 years, for you to be ripped from their lives completely would not be fair to them. You should make every effort to still be in their lives... for their sake.

However, you should do this on your terms, NOT your ex-wife's. Call them regularly. Visit them ocassionally and plan special days, like to the zoo, movies, etc. These days should be convenient for you, not just your ex. If your ex is not agreeable to this then she's just a selfish bitch who doesn't care about her children.

It seems like your ex-wife is being extremely unfair, both to you and the children, as you can imagine the effect that this would have on them. If you want to see he children again, you should, but on your terms, when you want to. Good luck, I hope you come to the right decision.

Emotions get confused because she's wielding the power so to speak and it affects the children and how you relate to them. I say fuck her and fuck them. I know it sounds fucked up, but do what's right for you man. Fuck them, they can come to you.

My wife of 10 years had 2 daughters from a previous marriage. She ended the marriage, but that didn't change the fact that I loved and cared for the girls, and they loved me on return. I couldn't imagine ending my relationship with them simply because the marriage ended. Children are not a disposable commodity

Let the children decide. You can still be a "dead beat dad" without legal bonds.

When you have visits with your son you should make the girls feel welcome as well but not require them to.
Whether you felt like their father or not it sounds like you were the only father figure they had growing up and it would be pretty cruel to them to leave them feeling that you don't want anything to do with them.

You cant control who you grow to care for. I find it a bit hard to believe that you spent 10 years basically raising these girls and truly have no interest in having any relationship with them. I do think it would be in their best interests for you to stay, all be it a much smaller but never the less there, part of their lives but really the ball is in your court. Only you and them know how close you really were to them and if it's something worth trying to work into your new life.

I think this is wrong of her. If she's moving on with her life, you should be able to as well. After getting separated, you shouldn't feel an obligation to her kids. But i guess it depends on your relationship. If you choose to remain friends, and you feel comfortable, go for it. But if you don't want to, they shouldn't be your responsibility

The end of a marriage is the beginning of the end of the commitments made to your ex-wife. But you didn't marry the children. You took on parental responsibility and you are probably the closest male figure in a parental role. You continue to have a responsibility.

If it was me, I'd be more worried that I'd lose contact with the kids, rather than trying to get shot of them.

10 years is a long time to raise children. You have made a big impact in their lives whether or not you see it that way right now.

The question is; do you want to remain in their lives? Once you answer that for yourself, then make arrangements to move forward or leave the children to the wayside.

Don't be surprised though, if in 10 years, one of those girls contacts you because you were a father figure to her. You need to look at the big picture here. You didn't just marry the mother, you married into an entire family.

Good luck.

well really its up to you if you want to spend time with children that are not your own. personally i would still see them every now and then but keep the contact to maybe once a month and i would go to see them at their house, maybe for dinner. i would not babysit them so the mother can go out on dates with another man. it sucks bad when there are children involved.
but she must think a lot of you to still want you in her and her childrens lives.
do it on your terms, not hers.

Thanks for your feedback! I've never made any allusions to the girls that they are mine - indeed, we even kept a photo album of their real dad, info about him, etc so that they would have as much information as possible should they ever want to see him or if he ever returned... i've always seen the children as 'borrowed' for want of a better word, knowing that one day they will be gone (whether married, college, teenage strop, whatever) just didn't think it would be this soon and in these circumstances. There is the added complication(and I should perhaps have said this earlier...) of the son that my wife and I have between us. Again, all the kids are aware that the boy is my son and my responsibility legally....it's all such a mess.....