Is it normal that i never get invited out after work?

64% Normal
8 Comments

Almost every week a bunch of my coworkers meet up after work at a local bar. They often discuss it right in front of me, but never offer me an invite. I only really care because it would be so much more convenient to go out right after work at a bar right down the street than to make plans with my friends who all live far away. The idea of meeting up with colleagues after would for a drink or two has always appealed to me, but I never seem to be in the group of people who get invited to these things. Is there something I'm not doing that I should be? Should I just come right out and ask if I can come or show up? I feel like that would be rude, but I'm getting no where just waiting for an invite.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 61 votes (39 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • crygypsy
    7 years ago

    Lots of people are like this. Maybe they talk about it in front of you because they would like you to be interested in their amazing time (since life can get boring!) but it can feel a little like a popularity contest at times which I tend to automatically opt out of and sometimes I keep my guard up when it comes to my personal life and people at work. I'm more of a make-friends-with-the-loner type of person. Because I find that a lot of the times, the loner is more smart and interesting to get to know and might be better about keeping my deepest darkest secrets.

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  • Wilkommen
    12 years ago

    That just seems rude to me. I am not sure I'd want to hang out with people who are rude enough to not invite me and then talk about it in front of me.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Are you really sure you want to go out with a bunch that seem so rude?

    However, if you do, I agree with Bartholomew. All you have to do is ask about the place, and they would have to be extremely rude, not to invite you.

    I don't know if you're doing anything wrong - unless they make it obvious during work hours that they don't like you by ignoring you. If not, it sounds like they're just thoughtless or lack manners.

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  • ~halliehey~
    12 years ago

    Maybe if you show interest in that type of thing then they'll invite you. It's possible that they think you don't like going to the bar or don't drink? Who knows.

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  • MissClaire
    12 years ago

    I Think that it's normal for people to be afraid of rejection - maybe they don't ask u because they are afraid u will reject them? Maybe just show up to the place later on and pretend like you are just leaving or.... I don't know doing something else and say hi .... They might invite u on or if u already have a drink sit down to be civil and make small talk?

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  • Bartholomew
    12 years ago

    Maybe they feel like you're not interested and that's why they've never extended an invitation. If you don't want to be forward at all you can just drop hints, like ask about the bar or how they like it. Just get you plus bar together in their brains and it'll be like clockwork, haha.

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  • MagickWithoutTears
    12 years ago

    It seems like you're gonna have to just invite yourself.

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  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    Just add in a little "can I join?" It's not rude. Don't worry :)

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