Is it normal that i'm worried sick about my daughter being hurt

79% Normal
6 Comments

When I was 14 I thought I was a big girl sneeking out for a drink with all my older girlfriends when one night it backfired on me and I was raped it was the scariest thing I have ever gone through . Only now I have a 10 year old daughter and keep having to relive my rape in my dreams only it not me being raped it's my baby girl .These dreams are affecting me worst than it did actually being raped.... I kind of excepted that it was my own fault for thinking I was big enough to play round with these older popular men and put it all back to the back of my mind and never thought about it again until now .... Would really appreciate some advise how to stop these dreams .. My daughter means the world to me and relies on me for everything this is really affecting me x

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 70 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • littlefrog
    14 years ago

    You need to seek therapy so that you can heal from your trauma. If you don't do this, you will end up being overly protective of your daughter which will be humiliating and damaging for her! Of course I DON'T mean let her hang out with men and get into dangerous situations, but if you don't resolve this you are going to really damage your daughter by projecting your trauma and fears and insecurities onto her. I think the best way for you to make sure your daughter stays safe, is in a couple of years when she's ready to hit puberty and wants to be more social, if you see problems arising, share with your daughter what happened to you, and then discus with her ways to be safe. Don't do this in a way that will make her fearful of men, just in a way that will make her aware that she needs to be cautious and not grow up too fast. Good luck and please seek out counseling. go to www.rainn.org and locate a FREE RAPE COUNSELING CLINIC inn your area. I get counseling at a RAINN center and it's great.

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  • littleone
    14 years ago

    I agree with Ollieo.

    And to read that you seem to still blame yourself is heartbreaking. This was done TO you. You were not asking for it. And just because you are a victim that does not mean you are not a STRONG woman.

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  • Pixienerd
    12 years ago

    Of course it's normal! If you weren't worried about your daughter-you would be a awful mom. But you DO care. As long as you aren't too overprotective (like a mom who locks her daughter away), I say you are a wonderful mom.

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  • aspgirl
    14 years ago

    Although it's only natural you want to protect your daughter, going over the top might make her go further astray. You should maybe seek counselling for yourself and you can still have a talk with your daughter about the dangers of strange men. You could even get her a personal alarm. I have one, which is one of the loudest alarms I've seen. I simply pull out a little pin in the side and it starts beeping like crazy. Hopefully your mind will be put at rest. =o]

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  • CloudyLemonade
    14 years ago

    Of course it's normal that you care! :)
    What happened to you, you cannot reverse
    but you could seek help, phone a helpline, see a consellor etc.
    They would be able to help you and give advice :)
    It's good that you want your daughter to be safe though. good luck xx

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Its great you want to make sure your daughter is safe, and have learned from experience how.

    But you are also finding these memories so upsetting. Do something for yourself: consider calling a rape crisis line or your DR for information on counseling. You are still a victim.

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