Is it normal that i'm trying hard to friendzone this guy?

Okay, I know a lot of the guys are going to start hating since the title, how ever let me explain.
For the past well, maybe one or two years I've been wanting a boyfriend. Or anyway someone, I don't care if it's boy or girl, but someone in real life(I've dated on line before, and I am now. I'm not looking to cheat I just mean in the future) And so, finally along came a guy who ended up liking me.
He's not a bad guy or anything. .irs simply that I don't like him.
I'm completely aware of his feelings, I have been for maybe two years? Rather I suspected and found out Friday.
For the what, two Ish years that I've known him I've practically in a sense have been trying to friend zone him.

I know I said that I wanted a Boyfriend, but this guy is just pathetic honestly. I'll get the most shallow things out of the way. He's quite short, I mean he's taller than me but barely, I'm 5'4 and a half, and he's maybe 5'5, I have always been the type to like taller men. But it's not even the height or physical features that bugs me. It's his personality, and how he thinks.

He's very awkward, not even in the cute way, like you can't joke around with him that much. Honestly his humor is just. . Ugh. And I'm the type of person who likes to laugh and smile.
Then there's what bugs me the most, he has no motivation, for anything. He doesn't care about how he looks, or about his grades in school. I mean I know I am not the perfect student, how ever he is just Too lazy to care. As far as I can tell he had no motivation what so ever, to anything. I mean he doesn't want to go to college, he doesnt seemto have any goals. I mean when I look around my friend group were all different.
My best friend wants to be an entomologist
My friend jacob wants to be a author
My friend savannah wants go be something dealing with medicine
My friend Chris at least has a passion for weight training.
And even I have a dream of going to art school and becoming an author as well.
But then we have him,
Nothing. Simply. Nothing.
As harsh as it is, I feel like he's a loser. I guess something happened when he was little but I don't believe that's a reason to be that way(I have a friend who was molested, almost raped several times and abused and still is being abused and she is still at least trying to be positive about the future) maybe its cause I'm seeing this through my perspective and not his, it's just it's completely I attractive from my opinion. Also, a few other things, I always feel like he's staring at me. .like I can't feel comfortable any where around him, even in class. Maybe I'm just getting weird but this is how I feel. And I already know a lot of people are going to call me shallow, but from your perspective(put yourself in my position) do you think my opinion/ideals are normal, or am I just shallow as a puddle?/weird?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 74 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 34 )
  • AbnormallyAwesome

    Okay, you're not attracted to this guy, fine. Tell him.
    But tell him first, and don't nag about him to your friends. You let off some steam on the internet and thats okay, since we don't know him. Now you have to let him go and keep each other out of your lifes, because it sounds to mee like you hate him and being friends would end up hurting both of you.

    After your long rant, I also feel like I have to defend this boy a little. You think he's a looser because he doesen't care about his looks, his grades or his future.
    But many of your friends with their great plans and good grades will statistically end up achieving nothing. And when their dreams are crushed, nobody cares about what grades they once had and their looks have faded it will be very hard for them to start focusing on the things that really matter in life.
    While that looser boy who likes you is probably a lot more open to embrace whatever may come.
    I'm not saying he's better then your friends, but school is way to early in life to deside who's a looser.

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    • Paradiddle

      Due to that 2nd paragraph, I've lost a lifelong "friend" and person I dated for 4 months due to school expectations and her own unrealistic goals so I can say that people really do put school on a fantasy pole and won't end up anywhere. Everyone dreams and gets degrees but very FEW actually do anything with them. Most only do it because society unfairly requires it, not because they actually like calculus or will use it in real life. I think it'd be wise for the OP not to judge like that as I find bookworms and top of the class junkies to fail in actual life skills after all that is done.

      As for the topic, just like everyone says, its normal that you aren't attracted to the guy, that is no crime. It is one to be so judgmental though, supposed "losers" are usually the best company in disguise, I can guarantee that.

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    • Karmasbitch

      As I was reading the OP's post, I was starting to feel like the 'loser boy' and after reading your comment, it made me feel so much better. Just wanted to say thanks for the smart comment =]

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      • AbnormallyAwesome

        You're welcome :)

        Having made you happy makes me happy

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  • disthing

    What?

    You're not obligated to be attracted to this guy just because he is attracted to you. You don't have to justify your lack of attraction.

    Maybe you should let him know, in the kindest way possible (don't mention ANYTHING in your post because that makes you sound like a bitch) that you're not into him? But only if he tries to initiate something or tells you how he feels. Don't jump the gun.

    Oh and a friendzone is a zone for friends. It doesn't sound much like you want to be his friend either.

    I'm thinking you're probably quite young. Like 15 or something.

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  • Short4Words

    You're not attracted to him plain and simple, you shouldn't feel any guilt for that. However, I wouldn't friend zone him unless you absolutely have to. I guess he's part of your group?

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    • RomeoDeMontague

      What short4Words said. You are not attracted to him. If you are dating him anymore break up because its not going to get any better down the road.

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  • nanawhite

    It is obvious that you don't like this guy, even enough to " friendzone " him. So what's the use having someone in your life that you don't want to ? Of course, You have the right not to be attracted or interested in someone. If you have no feelings for him, well it's normal. You can't be forced. But do no try to be friend with him if this is not what you want. It would be stupid and you behaviour might end up hurting him.

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  • dom180

    Just tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him. Don't justify it, because you don't need to justify it. Don't be friends with him, because it doesn't sound like you want to be his friend and it certainly won't make him any happier.

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  • I'm very awkward, in a very cute way. I will get nervous and sweat alot and then I'll yell "fuck off youuuu cunt!" at you and shake my head like this.

    *shakes head rapidly

    It's sooooo sexy.

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    • shuggy-chan

      *opens can of tuna* ughhh is this what u want?

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      • I want your soul.

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        • shuggy-chan

          you realize I'ma quarter ginger. I only posses 3/4 of a soul

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          • Call up macgyver, he can make you the other quarter out of some string and and a match.

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    • dirtybirdy

      you dirty tease.

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      • Fu..fuc..c..c..fuck..fuck off off youuuu cunt!

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        • dirtybirdy

          oh youuuu. Just too cute I tell ya.

          Fucking off now.

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          • *shakes head, flails arms and drools

            Cooome baaack birrrrdy!

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  • robbieforgotpw

    Can I be in the group? Don't you need someone who spends a lot of time on the can? i usually gas people into submission w much laughter. I wanna join your group

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  • Phishy

    Don't be retarded. Of course you're not shallow. I don't like fat girls, and I'm not shallow, they're just not attractive (physically), sometimes also emotionally unattractive. Well the point is, you're normal.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    Poor guy :-(
    He's got no motivation because he is short, ugly and no girl wants him.
    In his place I'd want to commit suicide and would hate it if someone told me that it will get better. It will not. He's not going to magically grow a few inches.

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  • Roger_Maxson

    I'm a guy who has been friend-zoned many times, probably my fault most of those times but I have to say this is actually perfectly acceptable. The guy doesn't have a sense of humor you enjoy and it sounds like he will hardly amount to anything. You are being smart and planning for the future and making sure you find someone as successful as you. I give you kudos for this.

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  • People don't always seem to completely choose who they are attracted to. It seems to be something that happens. I don't think someone can force themselves to be attracted to someone they aren't and most people have standards, some more than others, and that's ok. What sucks about this situation is that his crush on you is longstanding which means he has been thinking about you too much and moving on will be harder for him than if it was just a brief thing. Either way it will be good for him to learn from his mistake about obsessing over someone else. Having long term crushes is very unhealthy. Usually I like several girls at a time and I lose intrest easily.

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  • wenzel4

    If only I could meet a guy like that in real life. He is like fantastic.
    You see, I am just like him.
    And guess what. Don't be so shallow in life. I'm sorry but I really feel sorry for this guy. You just straight out called him a loser.
    Come on. Seriously?
    To answer your question, just tell him you want to be friends or rather by how you make him out to be. He deserves a lot better "friends".

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  • mixwell

    Fuck friendzoning him, it sounds like you just wana zone him by your story.

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  • Maybe he just needs a friend.
    Maybe he doesn't need the girl he fancies telling him she doesn't like him that way.
    Maybe you should just be nice and only hang around with him when you want to.

    Relax.
    He's only a guy.

    And you never know, he might grow out of all that weirdness and become a successful entrepreneur, just to show the people who rejected him who's boss.

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  • KatieLiz

    Persistent guys are the worst

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  • Unimportant

    Friendzone?

    Why would you want a loser - as you said, that's what he is to you - as a friend?

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  • tripw7

    Run, don't walk. You know what you want and this guy is not in your future. Just tell him that you enjoyed his person, but that you currently have other interests. End of story. Go for life!

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy

    I really don't get why you should friendzone him when you could take another turn, maybe tell him it's not working? I think it's better than friendzoning him cuz it sucks more

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  • Terence_the_viking

    Just tell him enough is enough i don't like you plain and simple.

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  • Imsupernormal

    Just tell the ugly fat fuck off

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