Is it normal that i'm taking revenge against my mom?

When I was younger, I never had the best relationship with my mom. She was always so angry and took her anger out on anything that was deemed annoying, which was me. She was a bit more nicer when I was younger, like around 6-10 years old and always said sorry and applied a special asian ointment after she "taught me a lesson". I honestly think she only said sorry and did that was because of the fact that I was young and kids sometimes would blurt out things. I think she was afraid that she would be arrested. As I grew older into a teen, she would become more strict and never allowed me to go play with friends unless hey were asian and pressured me into dropping my other mixed raced friends. She never allowed me to go have fun or to the movies and always tried to control me and make me the "perfect daughter". I graduated 8th grade once and made it into the top ten best students and from then on she pressured me into becoming a top ten student when I graduated high school (which I didn't.) We had a dog once and she hit her everytime she peed or pooped in the house, that was her way of training her. She also took her anger out on the dog and threatened it, screaming at the top of her lungs just because she got angry with me (I appparently took too many toweled papers). I have an older brother and she used to yell and take her anger out on him too. She would split it between the two of us but one time when he was only 15 and he wsa listening to music and she told him to turn it off and he wouldn't so she slapped him and he got angry and jumped up into her face and pushed her up against a wall and she got scared so she overreacted and told me to call the cops. I think that day he got fed up with her bullshit and snapped but after that incident she never touched or hit him again. In front of other doting parents she addressed me with terms of endearments and it made me sick. I wouldn't call it abuse since I come from an asian family and hitting and spanking is usually what we do to discipline the children. Now, I'm grown and she expects me to take care of her now that I'm a registered nurse with money and success and I'm not doing shit. This is my revenge on what she did to me all those years ago because everytime she yelled or threatened me I promised myself that she'll be sorry for what she did. Is it normal that I'm thinking 'I hope the bitch dies and suffers for what she did"?