Is it normal that i'm still upset?

89% Normal
8 Comments

so about a year ago, I found out that my girlfriend had lied to me about at least fifty things. I had to confront her seveal time before she admitted to it. we talked and she promised to never lie to me again and I believed her. the thing that was the most upsetting was that it was small stupid stuff and a few huge ones. were still together and I love her more than anyone in the world. is it normal that I still don't feel comfortable trusting her? I wonder if she's lying to me a lot... am I zrazy?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 53 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • yourfuckinghero
    13 years ago

    The reason that a lot of people lie in relationship is not only because they're trying to hurt you or hide things from you. There is also the fact that many people go unconscious when you're trying to tell them truths they don't want to hear.

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  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    well i think it depends on what she was lying about. she might have lied about something that she was too embarrassed to tell you or even she lied to make herself look better because she has low self esteem.

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  • combatgal856
    13 years ago

    ALl I can say is that it is normal to still be upset, because it will always be in the back of your mind, especially if they are serious. But try talking to eachother and try and understand why she lies to you, it could be something like attention seeking or wanting more thrill or something. I guess you should ask her.

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Maybe she feels pressured. It's always wrong to lie but it sounds like a living hell being in a relationship with someone who keeps a mental list of every mistake. I think you both have issues you need to work on.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Don't worry your not zrazy

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  • follow_me_down
    13 years ago

    While its normal to be wary of her truthfulness..you can't ever go forward in your relationship mistrusting her.

    If you haven't, its probably to tell her about your distrust. If you can't do that or she responds with excessive hostility, then you do not have a healthy honest relationship.

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  • psychobabble
    13 years ago

    Oh and, yes, it is normal to still be upset. VERY NORMAL!

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  • psychobabble
    13 years ago

    I've been going through the EXACT same thing with my husband. I've learned to trust that little feeling in my gut. If your gut says it probably isn't safe to trust her yet then it probably isn't. It's hard to believe someone who says "I promise to never lie to you again" when they have lied straight to your face and only confess to things when they get caught. It's pretty safe to assume that more lies will be told. Just do what I do; trust what you're feeling, watch your back, and let her know that trust is earned not just given. Some people are just natural born f-ing liars. Why do people like us sit around and hope it will change? Beats the hell out of me!

    I really hope that you can get the trust back in your relationship. It's going to take effort on both of your parts. Is she worth the effort?

    Hang in there. And if she doesn't stop the lies, you can take comfort in knowing that there are women out there who value their integrity and their relationships enough to be honest with their loved ones. I know because I'm one of them. Good luck friend

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