Is it normal that i'm still in love with someone who passed away?

I had a friend, a girl, back when I was in my late teens and in school. I was/am a very shy person, and she came knocking on my cocoon one fine day. We grew close very soon and without any deliberation, I was mesmerised by this girl.. bubbling with enthusiasm, kindness and grace. With every passing day we became more and more connected, we became inseperable. Even as the years passed, it still felt new and every single day I woke up with the beautiful prospect of meeting her somewhere in the middle.. And then on a cold day in a November, she passed away in a freak car accident. Its almost eleven years since that day. And I'm so scarred that I'm still standing below that street light where she took her last breath. I was in therapy for a few years, but I haven't moved ahead an inch. To this day I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I will never get to see her again. My friends and close ones have put my case to rest. I tried ever possible way to try and forget her, to move on. I never tried asking anyone out, I don't think I ever can. I don't know how I'll stop myself from thinking about her every single day, of all the things I miss about her, the dimple on her right cheek, her brown eyes, her dark auburn hair that always smelled of daisies, how she always had candies in her backpack for me. I'm stuck in this rut, with each day painfully passing on.. and the worst of all.. I never asked her to be mine.. I never thought I had to. But even before I could understand and put a name to our relationship, she left. Leaving me dazed and confused in her wake.. The only upside to this whole thing is that I'm well educated and well settled.. although at the cost of being a social outcast .. and I'm clueless as to what next.. is it normal to go on this way, to live the rest of my life cherishing her memories.. of the 'almost' life we shared..

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 53 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • charli.m

    I'm sorry. I lost someone I was in love with (but couldn't be with) years ago, too. I think that it's normal to always love them, but I don't think it's normal not to move on. All I can think of is trying different forms of therapy until you find something that works.

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    • Holzman67

      I'm sorry to hear of your loss :(

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  • Hottigene

    Nevet forget her alwsys have some Love in your Heart but there is still room in your Heart for someone Else you just need to find Them so try ti meet new people and Live yourlife as she woukd want you too.

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  • Daxt

    its a sad story, thinking of your past. honestly i sympathise with you, but wisely, you need to focus on your future, reality can be so cruel at times: what has happened has happen, thinking of your past will never build your present, kindly accept your loss and focus on your future. please, understand the facts and abide by them. regardz!

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  • DolphinAngel

    D'awww this is so cute but sad on the other hand... I could as well picture myself being in such a situation :'(

    It's normal if you're worrying about this part but I guess you expected it to be kinda normal... However, I assume this doesn't really help you with your actual problem :/

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  • Holzman67

    Your story is an incredibly sad one, but an incredibly beautiful one too. Cherish the memories and save them for times of quiet reflection.

    I lost a close friend of mine and it was very difficult. In the end I managed to alter my way of thinking so that thinking of him and the life he lived inspires me, instead of bringing me sorrow that hes gone. Perhaps you can do a similar thing, I don't know.

    You can choose to feel privileged to have known her and to have had those times at all. This experience, if you can get through it and overcome it emotionally, will strengthen you. Adversity and perserverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and an esteem that is priceless. Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. Remember that man has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit. Good luck.

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  • DubstepismyMJ

    I dont think part of moving on is completely forgetting about the person. You can still think about her time to time, just don't let it stop you from developing your life.

    Its ok not to forget, i don't think anyone can forget someone who means so much to them that passed. Just don't let it stop you from living your life forever, i dont think she would want you to stop living your life because of her, neither would you or anybody would want to be the cause of someone to stop living.

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  • The only reason you can't move on is because you're too ugly to find someone else.

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