Is it normal that i'm still in love with someone who passed away?
I had a friend, a girl, back when I was in my late teens and in school. I was/am a very shy person, and she came knocking on my cocoon one fine day. We grew close very soon and without any deliberation, I was mesmerised by this girl.. bubbling with enthusiasm, kindness and grace. With every passing day we became more and more connected, we became inseperable. Even as the years passed, it still felt new and every single day I woke up with the beautiful prospect of meeting her somewhere in the middle.. And then on a cold day in a November, she passed away in a freak car accident. Its almost eleven years since that day. And I'm so scarred that I'm still standing below that street light where she took her last breath. I was in therapy for a few years, but I haven't moved ahead an inch. To this day I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I will never get to see her again. My friends and close ones have put my case to rest. I tried ever possible way to try and forget her, to move on. I never tried asking anyone out, I don't think I ever can. I don't know how I'll stop myself from thinking about her every single day, of all the things I miss about her, the dimple on her right cheek, her brown eyes, her dark auburn hair that always smelled of daisies, how she always had candies in her backpack for me. I'm stuck in this rut, with each day painfully passing on.. and the worst of all.. I never asked her to be mine.. I never thought I had to. But even before I could understand and put a name to our relationship, she left. Leaving me dazed and confused in her wake.. The only upside to this whole thing is that I'm well educated and well settled.. although at the cost of being a social outcast .. and I'm clueless as to what next.. is it normal to go on this way, to live the rest of my life cherishing her memories.. of the 'almost' life we shared..