Is it normal that i'm still grieving?

When I was eleven years old, I lost my grandfather to cancer. He lived in England, halfway across the world from me, but I considered him my best friend. His wife, my grandmother, was very distant with me and I grew extremely close with him. My father and I would visit him and my grandmother every year and it was the happiest three weeks of my year. When he died, it was quite drawn out over six or seven months, but I didn't really understand how serious it was until two days before he died. When he passed, my father took a plane to England and a small ceremony was held. I wasn't a part of it, but my aunt and grandmother were along with my dad. His ashes were sprinkled in the river. To this day, if I even think about my grandfather, i burst into tears. I find it hard to look at pictures of him and when I hear his name or even see a death on tv, I'm on the verge of tears. I think about him at night and most nights, I end up crying myself to sleep. After seven years, I can't seem to let my grief go. Is this normal? What can I do to stop feeling this way?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 55 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • kelili

    I know exactly what you mean. My aunt who I was very closed to and who I called mum (until I was about six) died of cancer in 2006. When she was ill I stayed at her house until i was told that I was too young to take this responsibility. Even when she was ill she would still smile at me when I came in her room and asked me to comb her hair (writing this makes tears come to my eyes). When she passed away I felt torn apart and I just couldn't get over it. Even now whenever I think, I talk, I see a picture of her I just want to cry. There's a song by Avril Lavigne that makes me think of her - Slipped Away. I love the fact that I can still think of her with so much love and not just as a memory even if this brings tears to my eyes.

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  • "What can I do to stop feeling this way?"

    I wish I knew.

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  • peterrabbyt4

    It just takes time.

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  • NothingxCrazy

    If I ever lost someone so close to me, I think I'd be in the same boat floating on tears. I'm a quite emotional person, especially when it comes to death. I still want to cry when I think of my 12 year old cat that died almost a year ago. I haven't lost a family member (thankfully) so I'm quite lucky on that level.
    One of my friends lost her grandmother to cancer almost two years ago and whenever she talks about her, she starts crying.

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    I know exactly how you feel. My grandmother (my Baba as I called her) practically raised me. She is basically a deity in my mind and she always was. Even when I found out, years after her death, that she was a serious alcoholic, my opinion of her could not be changed... in fact, I admired her more for her struggles. Despite struggling with alcoholism, she opened a learning and care center for the special needs, won many awards as a teacher and was very influential in her community. Like I said, she is a Goddess in my mind.

    She died when I was 11 and I notice her absence on a regular basis. There is no true way to get over the death of someone that you loved. The pain will thin out over time, but to get over someone is a different matter. Keep grieving and don't feel ashamed. If anything, it honors the memory of your Grandfather that he was so important to you that his memory on this Earth still lives.

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