Is it normal that i'm still confused why she broke up with me?

71% Normal

Well imma try to make this as short as possible.

Me and my ex gf who I still love very much and is ruining my life because I can't forget about her and move on, were together for two years. It was after our second year anniversary and just before her birthday that things started to fall apart.
My ex cheated on me twice before all this happened. I forgave her twice and we had this movie love story thing where I was mad and she wanted me back and told me she loved very much. I ignored her and she walked away and I followed her, grabbed her hand, turned her around, and kissed her lips. Then we started going out again. Then months later we had a fight ( a big one). We had a break for like a month.... I asked her when we were gunna be back again and she told that she was too busy for school, then she later told me that she had no time for me and that she doesn't need a boyfriend and that she wanted to be free.
Obviously, we broke up, I tried getting her back a month later, she would never give me a straight answer , then I spoke with her best friend to helping me out, her best friend told me that she has a new bf and has no future plans on going back out with me. She also told me that she honestly doesn't like her new bf because of the way he treated her.
The thing that I don't get is that why would she tell me that she had no time for a bf and then get one? Also why would she choose a Guy that would treat her wrong over me, who has loved and treated her right and even forgiven her for cheating?
Sorry for this being long.... Please be nice and just give me your honest opinion. Thank you

Voting Results

71% Normal

Based on 34 votes (24 yes)

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Comments ( 16 )

RinTin

12 years ago

Either she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or she wants to keep you as an option if she ends up single again because she knows you'll take her back in a heartbeat. That's just my opinion but from what I've seen in other relationships if you get back with her she'll probably do the same thing to you all over again until she either grows up or you get fed up.

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tbiM20

12 years ago

If she cheated on you, then you need to assess whether you truly want her back, or if you miss the old relationship.

I had a similar problem. My high school sweetheart & I dated for at least a year. Valentines Day weekend, we "break" for a week, at which point he goes to a party & loses his virginity to some random chick. I hear about this a month later, forgive him, & he even "proposed" (more a promise to propose) in June. July he left me, no explanation. It took YEARS to really get over it... I'm 23 now & the first time I didn't stutter when I saw him was last year (pathetic I know). I knew though that it wasn't him I missed anymore, it was the good memories I missed. So yes, it is normal... but it doesn't mean you have to try to get her back.

That kind of relationship is very powerful, but you need to be honest with yourself in what you really want, and what is possible now. Is it fair to yourself to chase this girl; will you be able to have a real relationship where you can trust her? Will it make you happy, or will you constantly have the "what-ifs" in your head? Remember, don't let someone else make you unhappy! If she hurts you, then find someone who doesn't... or just don't worry about a dog-gone relationship right now! :-)

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I truly do want her back....but I guess your right about the "what ifs". I would probably have trouble trusting her , but what can I do? She is stuck in my head and I see her almost everyday. I try to forget and it's not that simple. Well thanks anyway for your comment , it made me feel a lot better. :)
  
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  - tbiM20
    
    12 years ago
    
    Glad i could help :-) I promise, it will get better. You just need time. I know these seem like just words, but eventually you'll look back and appreciate the good parts of the relationship, while taking the bad parts as a learning experience.
    
    Stay happy!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      I'll try to be happy as possible as I can , thank you for your soothing words :)
      
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

She's not worth your concern. She got what she deserved. "what goes around comes around." she treated you horrible and now shes paying for it. Don't worry about her. She got herself in that mess and neglected you. I bet she was trying to not put herself in a troublesome situation trying to explain how she got a new boyfriend so she brushed you off. No one like that is worth it. She cheated on you and cheaters never stop if she can do it once she can do it again(which she did). she was unfaithfull and also took you for granted like you were nothing. Move on from her. I know easier said than done even take baby steps if you have to just start searching for someone better and trust me you'll definately find better because she was the worst.

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Alaska

12 years ago

I think she didn't tell you the truth, because she didn't want to break your heart again. And why is she with a dude who treats her wrong... Well, sometimes women, we, fall in love with the wrong guy.

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Painfulnote

12 years ago

It's hard to answer your questions almost impossible to figure a woman's mind but I think she enjoys taking advantage of you.Leave her well in your case try to forget her ,you will get used to it.

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iEatZombies_

12 years ago

Long story short, she's being selfish. Whatever her feelings, she's not being honest because she's protecting her own pride. She feels guilty for what she did, but she does not have feelings for you. If she came back, it would be selfish. It would be to help herself, not to love you. You really are seemingly nice. I'm sorry that you fell in love with her. It will get better over time, not being with her. When you do find someone who treats you with respect, you'll probably feel relieved she's not around.

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joybird

12 years ago

Aw :o(

First off, she didn't tell you coz she didn't want to hurt you further and it might make you more obsessive.

Secondly, this second bf is a challenge to her. If she cheated on you and yyou forgave her relatively easily, she felt that you were a walkover / doormat.

I think she is finding her own way, but hopefully will grow up and realise what a good guy she had, and come back to you when she's ready to settle down.

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solidman

12 years ago

Lol , sorry for saying this but your story is really complicated. First of all she cheated on you TWICE!!!!, and you instanly forgive her. Than she dumbs you for a totaly difrent guy. Well i don't know if I myth give you the right answer but maybe you should try to forget about her for awhile try hanging out with some other friends including other (girl) friendt the ones that really appreciate you and care about you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  It's okaay and sorry for the story being complicated but it's not like she cheated on me then forgave her at the same day.
  
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  - solidman
    
    12 years ago
    
    ok so tell me how is it then?
    and how are you now?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      The first time she cheated on me was when we were just together for 2 months. I broke up with her, but I wasn't too heart broken like I am now. A few weeks later she started apologizing and got my new number through numerous amount of people, we started talking again and ended up being together again.
      The second time she cheated was three months after our 1 one year anniversary, I was angry this time and broke up with her again. Then after that that's when we had the movie love scene thing and went out again. After all that, as our relationship went on, I started loving her more and more.
      Right now I feel lost in a way and tired. I have so many things to deal with like family and school. My parents think I'll end up failing like my two brothers and I'm trying really hard to not end up like them. It's so much pressure, I have no one supporting me at all and school is such a drag, but very important
      
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      - solidman
        
        12 years ago
        
        Alright man listen. I kind of no a little how ur feeling and your situation because I'm sorto the same all my friends left because I wasted I year because I was down and depressed I felt abonden I thought nobody care about me. And the next (wich is this current year) every thing got worse!!!!. I thought I was gonna get a new start in life but what really happend is that I met many people who that I thought I left in my past. Especialy the girl that of my dreams who I wasted most of my life chasing. And were also now in the same class. But get this she's out of the blue she just found the man of her dreams wich is also in our class. And I'm not sure because of this I should stop loving her because she's really happy with him and he likes her to, and I just felt like I was getting in the way like there was no reason the live, and each day of school felt like hell!!. All her friends wich is the intire class don't like and since she was my best friend in elemantry school her intire big ass family knows me and geus what they all hate me too. And I used to cut class almost everyday just to avoid the pain or getting in the way. Yeah I know kind of patatic right? And so was left alone by everyone. But than I realise I wasn't the only one like this there were other people just like me so we became friends and started helping each other and hanging out more often etc. And know things are getting bettered very slowly my grades at school are inproving so that means I don't have to waste more of my life I have found good friends that support me and I just ignore the couple thing in my class yeah I know its not heavanly good but its starting. So just don't give up hang in there, find people whose been throught the same thing as you, keep being positive and youl find what you will truly make you happy and if not than remember that everyone can shape there own destiny. I'm not a that much into everything happends for a reason, well maybe a little lol, but I'm mostly a believer in anyone can shape there own destiny. And e remember when I was a kid I used to be happy but when I stopt e became miserble but now I'm back on my feet and I got e very good feeling about my futere. Oo and sorry for this very long post just wanted you to know that everyone has there dark times so just keep trying and doing for what makes you happy. Just concentrate on making some real friends that will help you in school and your eduction, and if you don't see your ex everyday just forget about her for know remember that girls love attention so if you keep putting up with her she will never stop. Just keep believing in yourself even if no one else will and keep trying and you'll be happy remember also that your not alone there are many people like you the only bitch part is that were all separated. Just keep trying and you'll be happy and good luck man.
        
        Sincerly solidman =]
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        12 years ago
        
        What a coincidence, I've been ditching my class with her too and everyone in that class is mostly filled with her friends, which makes me feel uncomfortable cuss I only know\talk to one person in that class. I guess I'm pathetic too. :/
        Thank you for your post I will certainly follow your advice which is trying to be happy, believing in myself and making new friends, since it's the only choice I have. :)
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i'm still confused why she broke up with me?