Is it normal that i'm still angry at my old middleschool bullies

I got bullied by all the girls in my class from age 5 to 15.
I'm still angry at them too. Angry and hurt. Never experienced any bullying since I got away from them but it lingers, it's turned me into a quite sensitive and anxious person. I'm trying sometimes to forgive them, I know they weren't happy inside and for all I know they might've matured and gotten better since then, maybe even feel some level of regret or shame. At least some of them. It's hard to just completely erase the emotional wounds bullying leaves though, unfortunately. I think it's even worse when it happens when you're really young because you're still growing up and becoming whom you are, so if you get bombarded with negativity and cruelty that becomes part of that process and becomes a big part of your image of yourself making you insecure, bitter and angry which can even in some cases turn you into a bully if you manage to improve yourself on the surface so that you can with ease push others down with your portrayed confidence and image. So yeah bullying does a lot of harm. I'd say that most of that anger is surpressed feelings of hurt. It'd probably be a good idea to get professional help and maybe allow yourself to feel that pain that the bullying has caused you instead of surpressing it keeping it inside you to keep growing into more and more bitterness. By holding onto those feelings you are letting the bullies have a continued hold on you... Anger and such feelings are restrictive and only hurts yourself. I've had therapy myself though not specifically for the bullying, but the little we talked about that did a lot. I've thought about going back to therapy only to talk everything about bullying out of my system, and maybe learn some healthy ways to release hurt and angry feelings that are still lingering from it. The advice I have gotten is to forgive. Which is really easier said than done, but I do think it's a good advice but it's probably hard to start with forgiveness before you've analyzed your feelings and found a way to release them.

Being angry at them sounds like you haven't moved on, they were bullies and they've probably moved on from bullying, they have moved on to a better life.

What has happened is in the past what is important to you is that you move on otherwise your old memories is going to keep reminding you of those bullies.

It sounds like you went to a really shitty school if responsible adults saw this abuse going on and did nothing.

Anyone who feels compelled to humiliate others is not mentally sound. It's possible that at least some of the kids who tormented you were born with psychopathic tendencies, but it's probably more likely they had shitty homes with parents who abused and tormented them. Because they felt weak and powerless in that situation, they sought out someone they could have power over. And, if they grew up in a family where the adults in control exercised their power by using physical violence, they will have concluded that behaving like a thug is what powerful people do.

Bullies are also often not very bright, they have no insight into why they have the urge to be nasty to others, and they lack the curiosity to even wonder about this. If they don't sort this out by the time they reach adulthood, they're destined to ultimately have a pretty miserable life (although they'll most often blame others for this, rather than recognising that the fault lies in themselves).

School is a horrible experience for a lot of people, and the way inadequate, maladjusted idiots gravitate together to form little gangs which validate and egg-on each other is often a big part of the problem.

It's normal to be psychologically scarred by bullying. It's also normal to have revenge fantasies where you prove that you are no longer the powerless victim you were when you were bullied.

Many people find it very difficult to move on after being bullied, but you need to understand that by allowing yourself to dwell on these things that happened years ago, you're still giving the bullies power over your life. You're not the kid you were back then, and there's a lot of truth in the adage that the best revenge on people who treat you like shit and disrespect you is to have a good life.

You shouldn't really spend any time thinking about the bullies, but there are two possibilities. They may now be emotionally mature enough to regret how they treated you. Or they may be grownup versions of the assholes they were then, and it's highly likely that will mean they have an unpleasant life. It's one thing to be physically and verbally abusive to another pupil in school, but if you try the same shit in the grownup world, it's very likely you'll have serious problems and end up getting swatted down by someone who's nastier or more powerful.

THats pretty sad honestly. Why dont you get revenge so you can move on with your life? There are lots of ways to make peoples lives worse without actually beating them up

Almost everyone both gets bullied and bullies someone at one point during their childhood, I know I certainly did. But taking that with you to your adult life is both pathetic and a hindrance to normal relationships/work. Just move on from it.

Then as long as you are angry they can almost control you in your life and what you do or dont do. Be upset with them, but be able to set that aside until a day when or if you ever run into them. So at that moment when you see them you can unleash and give them hell. But move on get past it. Dont let their actions dictate what your future can be.