Is it normal that i'm seeking out an affair?

I have zero respect for people like you.
You obviously DON'T love your husband.
For HIS sake, get a divorce and after THAT you can fuck and flirt HOW MUCH YOU WANT.

It's so sad to see so many hurtful comments. It's normal to have feelings for a man that's not your husband, it's only wrong if you act upon those feeling. It seems like the relationship isn't going anywhere since you've known him for 7 years. If you love your husband, keep being faithful and resist any temptation.

If you love your husband stay away from this man. Your spouse's mental illness is not an excuse to cheat. Continue to entertain thoughts of kissing this man and most likely you could end up betraying your vows.

It's probably best to look into the relationship you're currently in and decide whether or not it's worth continuing before you run off and attempt to start something with somebody else.

It's the least you can do for someone you've been married to for 20 years. Show some respect to your partner, explain your issues, sort it out - whether it means moving on or finding a way to make it work - and THEN look into other relationships.

If you act on this now, you're only going to hurt your husband, and likely you're going to hurt yourself. Think how you'd feel.

Also, the guy you're interested in has a family, and is also married? It's like the bad-decision-athon 2013 has occurred and you're pining for first place. The only thing that lies down that path is hurting a whole bunch of people and feeling terrible yourself. All for what... jumping the gun and getting a little thrill you could get later on down the road, withOUT hurting everyone involved?

Yes, if you're unhappy in your marriage it's likely you will seek the love you deserve elsewhere. It's best to get a divorce first.

If youre going to have sex with another man, divorce your husband first. That is unfair. You sound like a selfish person. If you love your husband why would you even think about cheating if you know it'll hurt them. I wish I could punch you in the esophagus. No offense.

You smelly pussy whore!

There are a lot of really nasty comments here. Don't take them to heart.

Most of them are kids with issues. It seem that they come to a "is it normal" site because they feel different in a bad way, and tend to take out their problems on other people.

If you're a genuine poster, then I really hope you sort this out. It's a difficult situation.

I wanna talk about two things. Firstly, your husband. Second, about this other guy.

Your husband. My guess is that you don't want to be with him. If it is bad, you should leave.

It can be horrifyling difficult and scary and you can give yourself so many excuses to stay, but it might be for the best. There is sometimes one tiny hope that people hold onto to keep themselves in a relaitonship, but it is usually wrong.

I say it straight. Leave him. Clear your head. Get a fresh perspective on things and pick yourself up. Look after yourself for a while and feel the freedom of standing on your own two feet.

This other guy. Well, he's married. There's another woman in the picture and she might not deserve the pain that you both could cause her. If you're single again, I'd recommend not seeing him for a while.

Hook up with someone new. Even just for a night to get that whole hunger out of the system for a ittle while, just long enough to give you space to breath and a moment to think a little straight about things.

Either way, it seems that you need your own space for a while.

Get out. That's my best advice.

Dirty slag.

Try swinging. It's the only proper way of cheating.

Wow, the comments are terrible and hurtful. In my opinion as long as you don't act on it you are not a slut. What is important is in your heart you know that your vows and the love you both share is more important than your lust for this other man. Beside making the choice to do the right thing, sadly you cannot control the attraction you feel for another person so you should keep your distance.

it sound mostly like you are just sitting here, debating in your head "hm, should I cause extreme pain to my husband and this mans family? seems maybe..."

you know you will. so.. why?

I'm with all above. Get a divorce, then you can do whatever you damn well choose.
How likely is it that this "borderline personality disorder" could turn violent if you cheated on him? No matter what you think, you will not be able to hide your affair from someone you've been with for 20 years.

Just fuck the dude, you only live once.

just have some fun, no harm in that

You're a slut.I'm so sorry for your husband. Maybe this is your mid life crisis but when something is gone it's gone. I hope you know that any man that would go out with a low down dirty whore like you and is married himself is likely to return the favor. I'd watch my back if i were you. Just sayin'

Ok i see no one takes vows seriously any more. I feel bad for your husband! Take the big D advice and get out of your marriage first then you can do whatever u want. I know how it goes about wanting something different, but sometimes the grass isnt as green as it seems on the other side. If hes willing to let u cheat on your husband by flirting for so long then im thinking RED FLAG HERE! Think what he could do to you. Yeah its cheating, kinda like oral sex is not sex. Wtf!