Is it normal that i'm relieved when people who like me die?

I've known a lot of people that have been huge fans of me over the years. As a service advisor, I've developed a huge customer base, and there are a lot of people who are genuinely and deeply grateful to me for the service I provide and they regard me highly as a person in general. They talk highly of me, bring me gifts, bottles of wine, they refer other people to me. But it can just as easily be a manager or an acquaintance. What's important is that they really, really like me.

I can't stand that they like me. It makes me feel like dying. And several of them have died over the years. I understand that a lot of people might feel sad about this, but I feel incredibly relieved. When I find out that somebody who likes me has died, I feel absolutely buoyant. If I'm having a bad day, I just simply feel better, as light as air. I feel no sadness whatsoever. No empathy for the ones they left behind. Only joy and lightheartedness. Their death is a gift that can never be taken away, unlike so many other good things in life. They are gone and I am clean. Does anybody else feel this way? What does this sound like to a normal person?