Is it normal that i'm putting myself in this situation?

I dated a guy who is a year older than me (he is now 20). I lived with him for a year, at his parents house, aswell as 'our' own place. He has never done anything for me at all. I've literally paid for everything, from his weed, to clothes, cabs, schooling, food, energy drinks, smokes, everything!!!
I broke up with him in June 2011, but have been sleeping with him on and off since, and giving him (and maybe myself) hope that things will get better.
He says over and over that he will do schooling, get a job, etc. I know completely that he doesn't want to grow up and do anything adult.
Last summer, I was hanging around the owner of a tattoo shop, and started working there. THere was a known... entrepeneur that would come around almost daily, and apparently we caught eachother's eyes. I even asked for his number right in front of my now ex boyfriend. I didn't mean anything as to picking him up, I'm just extremely social and love talking to new people!
I'm 19, and he will be 29 next month.
We were together every, single, day, last summer.
I would wake up and text him, get ready then get a drive to work from him, he would go to his work, come see me at lunch, we would go eat, he would buy me ciggarettes provide me with money at the drop of a hat, roll me joints any time, etc. He literally paid for everything in my life. While I tried to keep my distance (poor attempt at) and would even try to keep things good between me and my now ex boyfriend, trying to make jokes about how I had him wrapped around my finger...
When in actuality I had been falling for the older guy who was taking care of me.
He quit his job as a welder, and began tattooing fulltime, working with me in the shop, so even more time was spent together. I would literally only sleep for 4 hours a night at my ex boyfriends PARENTS house. and start over every day.

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Based on 13 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • ellebaby

    I have stopped having sex with my ex. And told him that I will no longer be speaking with him. He reeeally didn't like that.
    The older guy, is getting out of the lifestyle and looking to be legit.

    And I've known the older guy far longer than I've been dancing.

    I much appreciate the compassion and sensitivity you have shown though!!!!!

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  • ellebaby

    ^ And if you read, I said that I'm not speaking to my ex anymore...

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  • joybird

    God help you!! I really hope you grow up soon without any dire consequences. You are going to look back at your life in 10 years and wonder what on earth you were thinking!!

    Get out of this situation and NEVER support any man. Any man worth his salt would NEVER take money off a woman - unless he's a pimp!

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  • Ldizzy1234

    I think you need to cut all ties with both guys. They sound like bad news, and I'm saying this in the nicest way I possibly can. This is not for you to take personally, but from what I've read, you sound like a girl who might be just a little lost. And those guys sound like they're just steering you here, there, and everywhere.

    I would stop the on&off sex with your ex, and I wouldn't get involved with the other guy, because something about him doesn't sound right either. He sounds shady. And if the ex was abusive, get away from that fast. Look for love elsewhere. You need to find a guy who has his head on straight, and will respect you. And in order for anyone to respect you, you need to respect yourself. Don't be sneaking out of the house at night, and I'm sure you're better than what you let people see you as. I know I don't know your situation, but I bet you can be something so much more than just an exotic dancer. And I'm not trying to sound rude, but maybe since you're an exotic dancer, and since you do drugs, that probably makes it easy for guys to take you for a ride. Guys just don't take girls like that seriously. Take your pride, and leave that lifestyle behind you. And leave those guys behind you as well. You can be something so much more than what you believe you can be.

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  • ellebaby

    When my ex & I moved into 'our' (i paid for all the bills) place last November, things went very sour between me and the older man, and I even sent me extremely rude text messages calling him names, telling him he was a pedophile for getting involved with a woman as young as me.My ex was everytype of abusive. I was scared that I would be hurt if I contintued to see him, yet couldn't stop!

    I had moved at of the shared apartment after having a D&C in February, and moved back to my mother's house for 3 months. In that time, I spent time sneaking around to meet up with the older guy. Found out that while I had been with him all those days during the summer, he had a 'fuck buddy'.
    I hadn't done anything sexually with him. Only made out... allllll the time! But still I was jealous. I understand that I was out of line to be, as I was living with my ex while me and the guy were starting to get involved.
    Although, the jealousy got the best of me, and I vented to my now ex, who threatened me with a knife to get a restraining order/peace bond against the other guy. I did just that.
    Me and the one I wanted, did not speak from April to August. I cried almost every day because I missed him so terribly.
    I had broke up with my ex in May/June and had tried to get in contact with the older guy. He didnt't budge because he thought I was trying to get him charged and sent to jail.

    Although after trying and trying, finally at the end of August he responded, we met up, and the first time we saw eachother in all that time, I kissed him and we have been talking for the last 2 months.
    I slept with the older guy last month, finally. It was amazing.
    He is in debt to the guy above him (if you know what I mean) and I agreed to help him, because I have fallen in love with him. I know, that's an idiotic thing to do, but I have been looking for a Sugar Daddy, and have a few willing to meet with him very soon (in the next 2 weeks). He has spent so much money and time on me, that I have figured that if I pay off his debt that we're even
    He also is apparently fine with that set-up.
    That actually bothers me, even though I offered in the first place.
    He had/has seen what my ex did to me, and they both have said to me as well as others around that if they see eachother on the street, someone is getting tasered or stabbed.
    I'm also an exotic dancer, and he was not pleased to hear that is what I do for work. My ex didn't care at all.

    Is it normal to feel responsable for a man's money, when he has spent alot of time, money, effort on you?
    [SideNote: 1) when I was pregnant with my ex's child, the older guy was the first person I told, even before my ex.
    2) The older guy helped me through an oxycontin addiction and offered support. ]

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  • ellebaby

    Seeing as all you do is TROLL, I don't accept your point of view.
    THanks for coming out though!

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  • JuliusE

    You and everyone mentioned in this IIN are degenerate scum. You don't deserve to live.

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