Is it normal that i'm only attracted to intelligent women?

90% Normal
24 Comments

Its obviously normal for someone to find intelligence to be a sexy quality in a potential partner but for me its the number one concern. Even for a casual relationship, I will choose the plain looking girl who's intelligent and carries herself well over a ditzy supermodel... Of course looks matters but I simply can't deal with stupidity as I see so much of it in my daily life and it infuriates me.

Voting Results
90% Normal
Based on 67 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • TwoThumbs
    10 years ago

    Yeah...You're normal. Evolved, but normal.

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  • Wyomingite
    10 years ago

    You, sir, have given me new hope regarding dating. While your preference for intelligence in your partners may not be 'normal', it should be, and I wish that more guys would look past superficial traits and find a trait they identify with - be it intelligence, similar moral/political views, compassion, etc.

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    • BIgEB
      10 years ago

      ...I've read your bio, Wyomingite, and, while you and I couldn't be far more different (about the only things you and I have in common is that we both agree with the right to bear arms, living a long life and prospering...other than that, well)...we agree on this one...I have gone out with a pretty girl or two only for them to lack good judgment, be very superficial, high maintenance, unintelligent, or lack decent personality altogether...What makes someone attractive would, in my opinion, depend on what is attractive to them...and attractiveness could certainl be one of those qualities...

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    • Anime7
      10 years ago

      I feel the need to point out that if you don't find the person attractive then you're not really going to go past friendship. If you can connect with someone on stuff like moral/political views, compassion, etc. but if the person doesn't have the looks then all you've found is a good friend, which is a good thing, just not a boyfriend or girlfriend.

      Essentially what I'm trying to say is that "superficial" things like looks actually do matter in a relationship, and it doesn't make you shallow to have a preference on how you want your partner to look. It makes you shallow if their looks is the only reason that you're with them.

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      • Wyomingite
        10 years ago

        You can be attracted to someone who isn't good-looking. At least I can.
        And I didn't say that you're shallow to have preferences regarding looks; I agree that you're shallow to be with someone just for looks. However, if you completely rule someone out because they aren't your type physically, you missed an opportunity to match up on more important qualities.
        Example: I prefer redheaded men. Don't really know why. I think I just like color.
        How many redheaded boyfriends have I had? One.
        Most guys my age (and I have a ton of male friends, so I know that this is at least what most of them are like in my area/socioeconomic class, etc), however, do not think "Hmm, I like blonds, but this brunette chick and I are really hitting it off!"
        They think, "She's fat? No way I'ma tap that."
        I just think OP has a different set of standards than what I'm used to seeing, and that it's nice.
        I'm not trying to be bitchy, by the way, Anime7, I just like a healthy debate.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          I'll start off by saying that in no way are you being bitchy or aggressive in your opinion. I enjoy discussions as well.

          The first thing you wrote sort of confuses me because what I find ugly could be considered good looking to you. However, I would have sort of a hard time believing that you like someone who you don't find attractive. I mean regardless of the emotional connection that you feel, it must be hard to sleep with the person. I mean I'm aware that a beautiful personality can make a person, who one would not give a second glance at, look much more attractive but personality can only go so far. I mean a person who I connect with emotionally would make for an excellent friend, but I wouldn't want it to go any further if I didn't find them in the slightest attractive. That's just me though, I can respect anyone who thinks differently, hell I like seeing people who normally date people who are conventionally unattractive.

          You mention that "I just think OP has a different set of standards than what I'm used to seeing, and that it's nice." Well I've heard people say similar things to be honest, how they just say that they look for one specific trait in a person but in actuality omit that a potential partner needs other assets as well, like say looks. I just don't like it when people say that they want a person who is "___" but don't mention that they need to look good to for fear of sounding superficial. That's my main argument, it hurts some people when they hear someone say that "Oh I like nerds" but then get completely ignored when you're awkward looking but are into D&D. Just admit that you want to be with an attractive person who has an attractive personality. Admit that you want the whole package but don't lie to yourself and other people saying that this quality is really important to you.

          Well actually, granted in some ways this quality is important to you. But you should still admit that you want the whole package. I mean I get it, I get where you're coming from Wyomingite. It is refreshing to see someone, much less a guy, say that they care about someone who has intelligence. But I've seen this as well, numerous times, people saying that they care about personality or certain aspects about a person that aren't just looks. But the actuality is that they want looks to, everyone wants their partner to look nice. I know that I may be coming off as a bit harsh or social justice-y but I just would like it if people stopped saying that they wanted someone who is simply "smart" or "nice" and instead specified what they really want in a partner, looks and otherwise.

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          • Wyomingite
            10 years ago

            I honestly can date people who I don't find good-looking. I'm attracted to them sexually, but I am also aware that they are not handsome.
            I never thought of that distinction very much until recently, but there it is. I think it's a beauty-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder kind of effect. On the other hand, I have a very good-looking male friend who I am not sexually attracted to at all. Don't know why. Just is.
            I must not be normal. Perhaps I should start a post about it, but I don't really care. :)
            I also agree with you that there are secondary preferences for dating, such as looks, that people often do not voice so they don't seem shallow. I am not trying to seem superior to others here. Honest to goodness, the only 'dealbreakers' I seem to have are notably poor hygiene, racism, sexism, and homophobia. Otherwise it's pretty much anyone's game. If someone asks me out, I'll go on at least three dates, to give myself time to develop an attraction (or lose one). If I ask someone out, same applies. Within that time, my attraction to them strengthens, wanes, or sometimes forms out of the blue - like when I go out with someone I don't find attractive because I give them a chance anyway, and viola! Sometimes I end up being attracted to them. Sometimes not.
            I'm straight but I went on three dates with a girl for this very reason. I was already very comfortable and confident in my heterosexuality, but just because she asked me out I said yes. (I didn't lead her on - I mentioned that I was comfortably hetero, but was open-minded and thought I might surprise myself. She was cool with that.)
            I think it's because I'm a very emotional person. If I feel an emotional or intellectual connection, it really will outweigh virtually anything else.

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            • Anime7
              10 years ago

              Well I have to say based on how well written your reply was I can sort of believe you. It does seem like you're a very emotional person and that's important to you. Kudos on being aware that you might've lead this girl on and didn't. I have to admit, I can't say that I've heard of someone like you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I am extremely attracted to smart men. Its so hot...as long as they are not the arrogant prick type of smart. For some reason I am always attracted to guys who are really good at math. I hate math...maybe opposite sciences attract.

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    • 69
      10 years ago

      hey babycakes i'll show you my square root anytime

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        I wish I was helicase so I could unzip your genes...

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        • Wyomingite
          10 years ago

          I have that on a t-shirt! Lol!

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        • 69
          10 years ago

          you're smart! that's sexy honeybun. and cute

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Well of course. Dating a hot bimbo has to get boring after awhile if she does not have any brains. I mean what are you going to talk about? What kind of glitter she wears to the stripclub.

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  • psu
    10 years ago

    Intelligent women are plain looking? And attractive women are stupid? There's an awful smell of stereotype around here. And not gender stereotype, either, but a blind spot for all genders.

    Do we really believe that having a brain degrades your looks or that being intelligent withers the brain? If so, I'm happy to listen to how that happens. But I think we should be saving the most attractive people in the world who are now suffering brain death due to their good looks.

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    • delijoe79
      10 years ago

      That's not what I said... Of course there are people who are smart and attractive... I just meant given a choice between plain and smart or hot and dumb I'd choose the former.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You value a certain aspect in partners...I'm not seeing the questionable part of this being normal or not.

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  • Unimportant
    10 years ago

    Intelligent women? Ew, gross.

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    sure

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    How do you know that they're intelligent?

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    Forever alone </3

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  • semenandgarspunkel
    10 years ago

    yorue a lesbian

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