Is it normal that i'm obsessed with a guy i never dated
Ok so I have this problem that is really started to effect my self esteem, my daily living and just totally evading My thoughts and this is probably something I need professional help with but Maybe not.
My problem is im obsessed with a guy I never dated. We almost did but we didn't and I know the reasons why I'm obsessed with him might not necessarily have to do with him but he was a target and I clinged on to him. Ok some background information is that we had a fling for a about two months and he ended it because I was really reserved and i wasn't affection or really showed any response to anything he did I just keep to myself. After when he ended it I was devasted I realized how much I liked him and he's all I can think about even sense. I idolized him through the whole thing and was totally oblivious to my behaviour was a problem. Even when he kinda told me I brushed it off..It's been about 7 months and I'm still constantly checking his social media websites constantly thinking about him constantly beating myself up and constantly crying. I was in the process of moving on tho it was getting better but after I found out he got a gf it started the cycle all other this time but worst I think im not totally gone crazy on social media but I think he can tell that I'm a little upset about his new gf and he probably things im crazy Cuz it's been so long sense. When he doesn't know that I'm atcually having a break down and that its so bad that my holding everything in started leaking alittle cuz if I was only a bit upset I wouldn't post anything at all. I don't want this to go on for another 7 months or who knows how long it's very painful.
I deleted his number his texts everything that reminds me of him but it's still not working. The reason why I said I don't think its really about him is I think I have issues with abandonant and wanting people to love me while I push them away because I got that from my mother.
When I was a kid my mom would beat my dad and my oldest sister servely. She even stopped sending her to school at one point. My dad was mulipulative too and if I did something bad he would make me feel not normal and hit me for it and I was only a kid. My mom made us believe my dad was the devil and my dad never lefted my mom even though she only really ever beat my oldest sister and my dad. She was on drugs and have a mental disorder as well as depression as well with being a alcoholic. I never really had anyone and while the post is not about that I think it really affected my love life.
She would tell us that she doesn't want us to date because she doesn't want us to get hurt and that all boys will hurt you. I was very young at the time when she started doing this. I wasn't allowed to watch kissing on tv but she allowed us to watch horror movies. Also she told me to not get pregnant ever because then boys would leave me Cuz my body would be full of stretch marks. I never ever was pregnant but I got stretch marks from growing to fast and I refuse to let a guy see me naked. I never felt I could show my love to my mom Cuz she would expect us to love her no matter what she does and I think I picked up that trait. I think I expect to be able to not give myself away in a relationship but I expect the guy to do it for me anyways Cuz I'm clingy in my own self I just don't show it.
I don't allow ppl in that easily but when I do I get super attached to the point where I question if it's normal. I don't think it should take 7+ months to get over a guy that u were kinda sorta seeing for two months that hardly did anything for u. And I really wanna get over him so I can move on with my life and not feel so regretful, stupid and sad and crazy all the time. Is it normal to be still like a guy this long when u weren't really anything? Is it normal to obsesed with him? How can I get over this?