Is it normal that i'm not sure about my gender and orientation?

I was born with male genital and body but I'm not comfortable in a situation where people regard me as a man. For example, there was a day where my friends asked me to join a soccer
. I felt pretty uncomfortable being among the guys. I assume it's the same feeling as when a woman being alone in the crowd of men. HOWEVER, I also has certain degree of pride as a man, and definitely would not want somebody regard me as a woman.

In term of sexual desire, I am (so far) only turned on by men, even my first wet dream was with a man.

What bothers me is that I feel a lot of anger/resentment inside as this whole gender/orientation confusion creates a distress. Most of my friends who are in the same batch as me already got married and some even already had a baby. People started to question me of when I will send them a wedding invitation.

One thing I feel quite confusing is, whether I'm a male or female, I'm not comfortable with the idea of having boyfriend/girlfriend and even having sex with my partner even after marriage. I just can't imagine myself having that sexual desire running through my body however good I am at controlling it. But I know it's there and sometimes I even could not really control it.

There was a time in primary school where I had a crush with a girl, and I would rather say it emotional attachment. She's not beautiful in the eyes of most of my male friends. So I rather say it's not because of her physical appearance. HOWEVER, I also remember times where I admired (or rather mesmerized) by my male classmates who I regarded as handsome men. That time I never really thought of what was going on in my mind.

Now I am 25. I would say I rather "behind" in term of development compared to average men. I had my first wet dream when I was 20, did self-masturbation around that age too. I'm not sure how I manage it, but I can't really recall any moment where I did fantasize about sex (whether it be with a man or woman) until I was 20 yo, too. In short, I have successfully abstain from any sexual activity (be it fantasizing or the real physical sex) for around a couple of decades.

I'm not really sure about my gender and orientation now. Is it normal?

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 20 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • VirgilManly

    The funny thing is that given a few years, the friends who were rushing in to get married will be divorced or probably be in a miserable marriage envying their single friends.

    I wouldn't worry about what you perceive to be society's expectations of you or their labels for your gender or orientation. If it takes you a while to discover what it is that makes you happy then so be it. There is no deadline. Sometimes just the realization of that alone can give you a feeling of power over your own life that adds to your happiness.
    Good luck on your journey thru life.

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  • kelili

    I won't be able to answer right. I'm a girl and as far as I'm concerned I have always been more comfortable with men. I have had adventures with girls but never real love stories. Now I'm with a man who I'm in love with and I love the life I'm living.
    What I want to say is that you have to experience to know, trial and error... And you know it's better to fault while we're young. So jump into life and enjoy it!

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  • jethro

    This is weird. I am a woman trapped in a man's body. On top of that, I am a lesbian. What should I do?

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