Is it normal that i'm not allowed to date at the age of 19?

18% Normal
61 Comments

So i'm not allowed to date unless i have a view to marriage. It sucks. I've been asked a lot and i had to say no because my parents dont want me dating. I want to date. I used to have a boyfriend of 3 years until he got killed in Afghanistan a year ago. I still miss him and my parents never knew we were dating. But i want to move on and i want to date just like every other normal person. Is it normal that i'm not allowed to date at all until i'm a certain age because of my parents?

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 232 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 61 )
  • jitterbug66
    11 years ago | pl

    I'm not allowed to date until I turn 40, get my Ph.D, and have a job that makes 100,000 dollars a day.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    You're 19 which makes you a legal adult. Your rights are being denied! You need to separate yourself from as much as possible.

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  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
    11 years ago

    I am sorry but that isn't normal. You are an adult. It's up to you who you have relations with, not your parents. They may think they know what is best for you but really, only YOU know what is best for you.
    I just don't understand what you mean by you are not allowed? So if you went out on a date and you told them, what would they do? Seriously, what CAN they do? Ground you? No, I don't think so, you are 19.
    Go out and do want you want.

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    • Skyskycarvel
      11 years ago

      Well the im not allowed to part my parents do still ground me. A few weeks ago i did get grounded for two weeks. I was stuck at home. My dad and mom said if they find out im dating or having sex they'll kick me out of the house with no where to go. I did date for 3 years but all we did was hold hands or hug. He lived 3 hours away so it was hard to get together thats why my parents never knew. But i just got txting a few months ago and im paying for my phone and the txt and when i got grounded my dad took it away for two weeks. So what i did with my old boyfriend whenevr he came to see me i would tell my parents i was going for a walk he couldnt even come to my house. I would walk down the street and meet him and we'd go to the mall or the park but i could nvr bring him home.

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      • Bonnabell
        11 years ago

        Get your own life you are not a child! You say you are not allowed to leave you can leave whenever you want! Get some backbone and do whatever it takes to leave! Your not four!

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  • Suomiman
    11 years ago

    That's oppression, Comrade. They have no f***ing right to tell you when you can. It's your f***ing choice.

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  • StreetDreamz
    11 years ago

    Nigga you live in you parents house you gotta live by they rules, thats what happens when you have other people paying for yo food and yo clothes and yo rent. you want freedom will nigga freedom aint free, you gotta get the fuck out of there and make yo own life.

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    • Shackleford96
      11 years ago

      Are you white by any chance?

      :P

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    • Skyskycarvel
      11 years ago

      I do gotta get out. But get this i pay for my own food buy my own clothes pay for my phone. I just cant afford to get a place of my own yet. My mom made me quit my job to stay home and take care of her baby.

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      • Bonnabell
        11 years ago

        I am sorry but you just killed your one way out. Pack yoyr stuff and get out you are gonna be stuck caring for your mom till she dies! Than yiu are not gonna know what to do. Leave it deos not matter were else yiu go call a hotline get out now!

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Why can't she take care of her own baby?

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        Oh god honey, get the hell out of there. Your parents are using you, you deserve so much better than that. Get your job back and run for your life.

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    No it's not normal, and it actually makes me kind of angry to see people deprived like this. Sadly though, there is not much you can do about it until you move out and live on your own or with friends or something. Then you can make your own rules and date whoever you want. Until then, rebel young spirit, REBEL!

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    If you live in their house its their rules even if they suck. But if you are, or when you are, out on your own that all changes.

    So while everyone may talk about your "rights" here on IIN - I think that is hard when living under the roof of conservative and controlling parents who you depend on. You could of course date but they would see it as total defiance and freak out.

    You are so close to being independent or at least having more space for a private life that it hardly seems worth the conflict. Make a plan to leave when you can.

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  • Skyskycarvel
    11 years ago

    I know right!? I talked to my dad about it and he said where are you going to find a boyfriend now. Im not in school anymore. He got like this smug expression on his face. So im hoping that ill find someone bring him home and rub it my dads face.

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    • Ryan556
      11 years ago

      I'm replying up here ok
      Anyway my life is going great I've made plans to go see my ex we broke up because of collage I recently broke up with my gf :( well she broke up with me so I'm gonna live back at the farm with my ex in callaforna

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      • Skyskycarvel
        11 years ago

        Awesome im glad u have some plan of attack :) and wow u live on the total opposite side of the country tht i do. Im in new york. Im planning on moving to pennsylvania in a few years just to really get away and settle down without family barking at me and breathing my neck.

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        • Ryan556
          11 years ago

          I might now you I haven't told my friends I'm moving and I have a friend with the same problem

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          • Skyskycarvel
            11 years ago

            Will ur friend be upset ur leaving?

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            • Ryan556
              11 years ago

              Whats your name?
              You may now me as mason or Ryan or somthin else I have 60 freaking nicknames

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            • Ryan556
              11 years ago

              Idk probably I'm close to my friends lets say one of my friends begged me no to go outside when I moved there being afraid I'd be mugged I had to carry a gun for her to stop worrying

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        • Ryan556
          11 years ago

          I currently live in new York I'm moving tho :)

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          • Skyskycarvel
            11 years ago

            Oh schweet :) i hope everything works out for you! My deceased bf his mom was really close with me and she wants me to move in her and her husband and her 18 yr old son justins bro dakota. She wants me to date dakota cuz hes kinda like justin but i cant do it. Hes cute and schweet but theres no way id just b opening new wounds plus id feel like i was betraying justin. Not cool.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Find a job and move out.

    It sucks that your parents are like this, but paying for room and food gives them enough leverage to control all aspects of your life.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    By any chance do your parents practice some weird religion? I know it's been a long time since you originally posted this, I hope you're out on your own by now. You don't have to live this way.

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  • kittylitter101
    11 years ago

    you're an adult, don't let your parents control you and your sexuality/relationships

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    • Skyskycarvel
      11 years ago

      Easier said than done

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  • Ryan556
    11 years ago

    I had the same problem then I went to collage haha my parents can't get me here where do you still live with your parent it's ok if you do if you missed a grade or something I went 5 city's away but it's best you seperate you and your parents I had the same problem when I turned 12 my parents moved me to a farm cause I got my first kiss parents are wierd my parents are over that tho haha I don't want to know what they would of done if they knew I had a gf at the farm anywayse normal even tho your a legal adult for us standerds and uk but parents are fucking wierd you just have to deal with it ps.sorry about your bf and the war :(,,,,,,,

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    • Skyskycarvel
      11 years ago

      Ive nvr even had a first kiss i feel deprived. My bf and i were scared wed get caught than nvr b able to see each other again. Life sucks. Thnx for the sympathy bout my bf :)

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      • Ryan556
        11 years ago

        Ya exspacially when you have parents like mine they sent me to a FARM because I kissed a girl don't worry you should be ok I was a religius kid in a wierd family basically they thought you can't kiss a girl unless you are ready for sex practically

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        • Skyskycarvel
          11 years ago

          That had to b awful having to move away. I so totally feel for you. I dont know where parents get these ideas. My parents were 18 when they were married. How come they dont just apply the rules they used when they were kids. Sure they want to protect us and stuff but to go over the top with the protection is alittle too much.

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          • Bonnabell
            11 years ago

            I think this is called coedependent. Its a disorder.

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          • Ryan556
            11 years ago

            A men my parents suck I moved when I could at 16 I had a relly good job I worked at a real company
            I moved so I could actially openly date a girl and to get off of that fucking farm my parents probably didn't want me to make there mistake they had me when my mom was 16 so

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            • Skyskycarvel
              11 years ago

              Wow im glad u were able to get away. I was just offered the opportunity to move in april and live in a normal house with my amazing cousins. Unfortunetly they live only 5 minutes away from me thts what sucks bein in Syracuse everything is too close together. But at least r u happy now?

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  • incapable
    11 years ago

    After age 18 your kinda a free b*tch baby { lady gaga voice}
    Tell your parents to chill.

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  • claybird
    11 years ago

    Your an adult.......

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