Is it normal that i'm leaving her this way?

82% Normal

About three years ago I started dating this girl. She is a nice girl and all but things REALLY started going downhill when she got pregnant. She became a total bitch and did nothing but harp on me to get another job or work more hours. Because it was MY responsibilty to watch over HER vagina.

Since she has had that baby, she has been an EVEN BIGGER BITCH! God she fucking pisses me off, every time I leave the house to do something other than work or grocery shop she bitches about my fatherly duties and I mean what? My fatherly duties? She chose to have the baby, she was the one that got all giddy and excited over buying the baby clothes and spending MY hard earned money on bullshit! All she ever fucking does is talk about how hard her life is and how I have it so easy because all I have to do is work and she is always at "work" and can never clock out of being a mom while she is at home sitting on her lazy ass while junior runs around practically naked because she won't dress him or bathe him! Yeah, your work is so hard, lady, that's why he's always whining about being hungry when you're sitting on your ass eating fucking ice cream sandwiches all day!

I'm serious! I've had it! I used to be a really cool and happy guy until she came along! I am considering packing up all of my shit into my car and just going to live with my buddy in Seattle. Get a decent job, and just start all over. I have been putting up with this bullshit for way too long, I am 22 for fucks sake I wasn't planning on having kids at this age! She has turned my life into a miserable fucking nightmare and I am one catty, bitchy remark away from grabbing my keys and getting the fuck out of here.

Is it normal that I have had it and I just want to get the fuck out of here!?

Voting Results

82% Normal

Based on 11 votes (9 yes)

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 29 )

crimsonSunset

11 years ago

You are totally describing the scenario from your end. Think from her end, as she is pregnant so who she is unable to continue job and support you. So she is kind of paranoid for her baby, her baby's future and trust me any mother on earth would be.

If you want to kill the relationship then its not the time, the moment you decided you will take a baby in that moment you have promised to take the pain to be a father. Sorry mate, the pain wasn't optional and you know it too.

You can't escape now. Once the kid start to go to school and she is able to do a job, then leave if you want. But this time, definitely not and it is not normal according to me.

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  She never worked a job in the first place. I did not intend for her to get knocked up and have to move her lazy ass into my house. We dated for a few months and she told me that she was on the pill, hell, she even showed me. Optional my ass, she dragged me into this mess and I deserve a way out.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - crimsonSunset
    
    11 years ago
    
    Well, in this case my suggestion would be: be with her until the kid is born. Then inform her parents that its over and leave. . .But, please not before that.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      the kid is already almost 2.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
  - Java
    
    11 years ago
    
    I'm gonna reply to both of you here!
    
    Okay listen. I am a girl. I can't stand feminist shit mostly when it's taken too far.
    
    Both genders have their issues, but what bothers ME is the unnecessary unfairness to the MALES in our modern era. Look at those court shows. A girl gets knocked up by a guy. He wants to leave her. The man is PICKED ON for wanting to live his OWN FUCKING LIFE.
    
    No man, it's BOTH of your fault - first off, you're both young. You should not be idiots about sex and should've talked about this before. She should have been on the pill. Condoms, if you're scared. Ask her about her 'cycle' and if possible, hold off your sex until the times when she can't become pregnant.
    
    Fine, it sounds like her complaining is bad but she is stuck with the baby too, you know! I know it's hard for you men, because often ya'll get called out for leaving a pregnant lady - well guess what, I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I really don't.
    
    She didn't "drag" you into anything. You are not OBLIGATED to stay. You've been together three years bro. The LEAST, and I mean the ABSOLUTE LEAST you could do would be to go to counseling and shit. Who knows? Maybe she's got postpartum depression, and even they don't know it.
    
    But honestly, if you're so fed up with her, just go. You're young and this was clearly an accident, so I find both of you at fault. Yes, both.
    
    But by your personality and statement, "Because it was MY responsibilty to watch over HER vagina." well you know what dude? You're having sex at SUCH a young age, and NOT wanting kids, YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED YOUR SEX!!!! Ask her to get on the pill and take it regular. That's all you'd've had to do is ask her.
    
    But yes, it's normal for feeling this way. I would hope that you'd both go into counseling and if nothing words, parting ways would be fine.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Did you not read my previous post? She told me that she was on the pill, she showed me the package. I told her that i did not want to have kids and that i want her to stay on the pill. we both got this down solid. then she got pregnant and sometime later, she told me that she quit the pill because "i was dying to be a mommy".
      
      i dont know what the hell her problem is and i have discussed counseling with her. i am not a completely unreasonable jerk. she tells me that the only person that needs counseling in this situation is me because i was selfish for not wanting kids in the first place.
      
      i cant tolerate her anymore. postpartum depression couldnt possibly last 2 years but maybe i am wrong.
      
      i know what she would say to a counselor anyway. that i am a chauvanistic asshole. i come home after a 16 hour shift, the fourth in a row and ask her if she can make me dinner, soup, a sandwich, something, and i get a speech about how she is not my servant and how she had such a rough day and im a selfish asshole that only cares about myself and i am TIRED OF IT.
      
      ive told her that unless she does something or goes to see a shrink, i am packing up my shit and getting the hell out of here.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Java
        
        11 years ago
        
        Then do it. Honestly I wouldn't blame you. Talk to her gently, if you care the slightest for her still after all this talk to her parents/guardians to get her into counseling.
        
        In the meantime I think you guys seriously need a break from this.
        
        It sounds like it's her, though. My mother had me at 23 (my dad was a bit older, not sure by how much though) and they were happy as hell, so no problems there.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        -
        
        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        I have been talking to her parents and they said that is she goes to live with them she will have to get a job and she is very angry about that.
        
        she does not have a high school diploma though. she said she was getting her ged but that never happened. sheesh. she had the baby at 19. not old enough for a baby.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
RockerRoseanne

11 years ago

I agree with you. If I were her then id be taking care of the kid and id ask if you wanted to help, if you wanted t leave then id let you. I wouldn't make you feel like you had to stay cause we had a kid. this girl is taking you for granted.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
thinkingaboutit

11 years ago

you both sound like dbags.

I can understand why you think she's a dbag.

Maybe you should seriously warn her, calmly, that if her behavior towards you does not improve and her does not learn to appreciate you, you will leave her.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Yeah, I'm a dbag.
  Im a dbag because i trusted her when she said she was on birth control. im a dbag because when she told me she was pregnant, i went out and got a bigger apartment than my shitty studio, put her up in it, furnished it with the best my paychecks could afford, and got a second full time job so that I could support her and the baby and pay rent on the bigger apartment AND supply her with a car that runs. i couldnt supply her with all new shit, the car is an old sable and she is unhappy with everything i have given her.
  
  i come home from a 16 hour consecutive shift and all i ask is that she makes me something to eat before i take a nap before i go back to work in 7 hours, maybe pack me a bag lunch, and she tells me that she is not my servant and she deserves more respect and appreciation and i dont take her out enough and she wants a new *whatthefuckeverphone* and how her job is hard enough without my "whining". yeah. im the dbag.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - thinkingaboutit
    
    11 years ago
    
    The way you talk about her is indicative of the kind of person you are, no matter what she has done to you.
    
    Either way, you are giving her a free ride. You don't have to so why the hell are you doing it? Don't rationalize that it's for the baby, because it's not. What good is working 16 hours to support the mother, doing for your child? Not much if you never bond with him/her. She's not taking you seriously for a reason! Why would she respect you if you act like she doesn't absolutely need to.
    
    Be serious and stick to your principles. Calmly inform her that if she does not do her part, the way you see fit [e.g. fixing you breakfast, lunch, dinner and cleaning(if she remains unemployed) or getting a job so you can spend more time with said child], you will help her pack up all HER and the baby's things, and she can move back in with her parents.
    
    It's really that simple. If she has no where to go, than you should REALLY insist she gets herself together before she is homeless.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I dont disagree I am an asshole and i have done nothing but rip on her but I'm afraid for our son to see his mom homeless and I'm afraid for him to be exposed to that because unless she gets a job her parents wont let her come live with them and when the lease expires I can chose to get my own place. I'm worried over the custody dispute though. She will want to take the kid with her.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - thinkingaboutit
        
        11 years ago
        
        all excuses.
        
        you just keep complaining.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        -
        
        SharP
        
        11 years ago
        
        I will until I am able to get her ass out. July can't come soon enough. She put her foot down and said if we are not married by the end of the year she is leaving me so either way I am set!
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        See More Comments =>
Captain_Kegstand

11 years ago

Seek relationship counseling, maybe it can be fixed. If that fails, its worse for the child to be in a household where the parents hate each other (trust me) move out. Peruse your own future, your own life, and your own career.

This being said, I don't care how it happened, that child was created by YOUR penis entering HER vagina. You are equally responsible for his life, and need to be there accordingly for the child! You can be a good parent even if you are not with the mother, and being a father doesn't have to be miserable either! Once your away from her I think you will see that spending time with your kid can be quite an amazing experience!

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  No, its not. Sorry but not all of us are paternal Mr. Moms. My friends knocked up their bimbos too and now they are playing mommy while the bimbo sits on THEIR couches doing jack shit. they are miserable, and so am i. I never wanted to be a father to begin with, she told me that she was on birth control and then tells me that she got off because she wanted to be a "mommy"? hah. she chose this shit, not me.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Captain_Kegstand
    
    11 years ago
    
    Should have wrapped your tool then. You are responsible for where you put it and what you do with it. Even if she is on birth control there is a chance of pregnancy, you were aware of this.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      i still think that she is at fault, sorry to say. she abused my trust for her own selfish purposes.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Captain_Kegstand
        
        11 years ago
        
        Then leave here ass like yesterdays garbage. But that child did nothing to deserve your dislike, or to be raised without a father. Your child is completely innocent in this.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        1
        
        1
        
        -
        
        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        i dont disagree with you, dont get me wrong! if i did i would have left her ass a long time ago. she doesnt deserve to be called a "mother" and the only thing that provides me any sense of relief is that her parents and aunt are willing to watch the child most of the time. after the third time dss was called, I wasnt having that shit.
        
        i cant say that i love the kid. i am usually at work and i have not gotten to spend more than an hours worth of time, one on one at a time, since the kid has been born. but if i leave her ass ill see to it that the kid is taken care of. i wouldnt trust her with a fucking cat.
        
        im considering the possibility of leaving when the lease expires on my apartment and taking the kid and getting another studio apartment and selling the furniture so I can quit one of my jobs and having his grand parents and aunt continue to raise him and just pay THEM "child support" or rather. its cheaper then day care. i will try to increase time spent with him but i cant stay with his mom any more. since i have been talking about this she has been telling me that we need to get married so we can have a traditional family.
        
        no.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
        
        See More Comments =>
[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Sign away your parental rights (to avoid child support) and gtfo. In my opinion no one, male or female, should be forced to parent a child they didnt agree on bringing into the world. She had the choice to force this upon you, and she did. She could have aborted or put it up for adoption if BOTH of you didnt agree on having a child right now. If you leave, it was deserved.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- thinkingaboutit
  
  11 years ago
  
  Force this upon him? Did he not stick his dick into her? Did someone force him to? Haha what a joke.
  
  Is the point of copulation not procreation?
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    She told me that she was on the pill. Even showed me the package. I trusted her and she did not tell me until after about a year that she purposely quit her birth control because "i wanted to be a mommy so bad!"
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    1
    
    1
    - thinkingaboutit
      
      11 years ago
      
      and your still with this bitch?...why?
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        because she is the mother of my child.
        i cant just up and take the kid and leave. i dont even know if i would want to. i have not gotten to spend ANY time with the kid since he has been born because i work so much so as far as im concerned he is just another kid to me, if that makes sense.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
flax

11 years ago

If you feel like this now so early on then it won't get any better. My advice; try alternate options, counselling or something. Do everything in your power to see if it improves. If you try and she is still like this and you feel the same, then leave. At least you won't have any doubt about whether you are doing the right thing or not. Better to leave then to be unhappy for the rest of your life, but make sure it's what you really want, because now you are simply far too angry to make that decision clearly.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0

Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i'm leaving her this way?