Is it normal that i'm jealous of my girlfriend's ex?

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9 Comments

I was looking on my girlfriend's Facebook wall, and noticed that back in her timeline her ex-boyfriend (who she now despises) had lovey dovey type messages on her wall, with her responding and such. It's illogical for me to be jealous, because we are very close and committed to each other. It just...doesn't feel right. Is it normal? Also is it healthy for the relationship for me to look at this?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 54 votes (43 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • craze3
    9 years ago

    It's definitely normal for it to feel weird and even feel upset about it in a small way as long as you can get over it. I get mildly affected by pictures of my boyfriend with his ex, especially kissing photos because he's mine to kiss (not that I own him) and I feel weird that I'm seeing a part of his life that didn't include me.
    Is that what it's like for you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yeah, exactly! That's how it is for me. I'm so used to her being my girlfriend that it's weird to see her with somebody else at a different point in her life.

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  • gashlover
    9 years ago

    why not tell her to remove those messages.

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  • perfectxsilence
    9 years ago

    I think it's normal to look into these things as I've been guilty of doing so myself. Facebook has a way of quelling curiosity at the click of a button but that doesn't mean it's healthy.. I saw my now fiancé's ex's posts to him and they hurt a lot when I read them. I saw how they interacted/ the flirting and it felt so fresh but you just have to realize it's old news and they're no longer together. I eventually forgot most of what I read though.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thanks for commenting, you seem to understand my situation. I think the best thing to do is just to do my best to forget about what I saw...it's no longer relevant anyway.

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  • ZP21
    9 years ago

    Despising an ex can be a sign of one still having feelings for another being but by hating them its their coverup or way to try and get over them. or she could legitimately hate him.. either way you have the right to voice your thoughts and you should talk to her about it. it could help you get over your jealousy and help boost the strength and trust of the relationship

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  • Tenderlovin
    9 years ago

    Depends how long ago was their relationship? I would be more jealous if she kept up pictures of them together.

    Also idk if that's healthy to still despise your ex when you're in a new relationship.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      The relationship started 6 months ago, and she removed all the pictures. I think she missed these posts because she didn't know they were still on her Facebook.

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      • Tenderlovin
        9 years ago

        If you've been commited to eachother this long, I wouldn't be upset over it.

        Its nice to have something to remember from a past relationship even if she's with you now.

        My parents have been happily married for 36 years and they still have gifts and letters from their exes. They both speak fondly of them too and have kept in touch with them. That doesn't take away from the love they share for eachother.

        Just accept you weren't her only love and you may not be her last but you're love is here now, so enjoy it while it lasts.

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