Is it normal that i'm different because my mom might be a sociopath?

56% Normal
8 Comments

I've always felt abnormal since my parents divorced when I was 10 years old. I had what seemed to be a normal life and normal parents till my parents separated and I started to live with my mother and sister. My mom started to act differently toward me and my sister almost immediately after the divorce, but mainly toward my sister at first then me a few years later. She did things to emotionally and mentally abuse me such as make fun of me in mean spirited ways, pathologically lie and have the urge/desire to constantly want to fight and have extremely conflictive arguments which would sometimes end up in her hitting me in the face or chest(one instance stabbing me with a pen in my shoulder).When I confronted her about the things she had done to me the next day she would deny hitting or screaming at me and pretend that if she denied it I would think it all just happened in my head or something. Then when my sister moved out 2 years later I was living alone with her and all of my mom's attention was on me.
By this time I was just turning 13.
For the next 5 years all throughout my teenage childhood I continued to receive this abuse. I was constantly abused and controlled to a point where I would have destructive/bad behaviors such as pulling out my hair, hurting myself, punching holes in walls,extremely low self esteem, etc.
Now that I'm 19 I realized this might of permentley affected me. I am moderately antisocial, still have low self esteem and don't take care of myself like I should(I might have ADD or ADHD too). I also remember acting like her during my earlier teenage years. When I realized this I started to change myself to try to be more normal. The last thing I want to be is a clone of her.
I realized she might be a sociopath after reading all the symptoms and seeing that she matches about 80% of those symptoms.
I need to know if I should see a therapist or do something to try to fix myself or if I should just keep trying to be the person I think I really am.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 32 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • noid
    10 years ago

    Therapy is good. You might also google borderline personality disorder and see if that fits your mom.

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  • cerberus
    12 years ago

    Story of my life. Really. This describes me AND my mom, only my mom exhibited signs before and then they worsened after my dad's death. I'm afraid I'm going to be crazy just like her... Just try to do what you can to have a healthy mind so you don't become your mom.

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  • supermarmee
    13 years ago

    It is hard to cut ties with family, unfortunately, deep down you kinda have to love them... Your mum does sound messed up, so is mine... I hate that she can't admit she was the worst mum possible, I always used to wish I came from a different family, that I was loved better... My mum tells me get over the past, it's hard too... I feel like she screwed me up... But all I know now is, I'm 28 have 2 girls, 8 and 2, and I will never let what she did to me, ever happen to them!!! I don't talk to my mum much any more, but I see alot of her on me every week, I just have to stop myself before it gets overboard!!! I know I never want to be like her and hate, hate, hate the idea of my kids seeing me like her, doing anything to them my mum did to me and my sister... It is hard but doable... I hope you can, just think about all the things you hated when you copped it and if you see that coming out of you, try and stop yourself before it does... Don't give her the satisfaction of winning, you are better Than that because you know what it felt like... Good luck:)

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Same here dude. So many fucked up moms..

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    This is a very sad story, but the saddest part is you will leave her behind (in the ugly past) and she will not have you. You might come to a place of forgiveness in time or you may not.
    She will realise what she has lost, unless she is a true sociopath and if she is, all the better you leave her behind.
    If you do forgive it might be good to remember that SHE was there HE was not.

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    • FreakyKing2
      13 years ago

      Thank you. I tried forgiving her several times during my youth but she continued to abuse my kindness, so I finally just gave up and realized she would never change. I personally would prefer not to ever see her for the rest of my life(but I know if I did that I would abandon all my family on her side too). I don't like that I feel this way about my own mother but it seems she has left me with no choice.
      My father was still in the picture though, they just had joint custody of me and I now live with him. Although after the divorce he wanted nothing to do with her(which I don't blame him) but it seemed he didn't think of how her behavior would affect me growing up. I think his mentality was once he removed himself everything would be "just fine" and he wouldn't have to worry or be stressed by her anymore.

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  • DanB
    13 years ago

    I've had some messed up stuff happen throughout my childhood as well. I suggest seeing a therapist if your having trouble handling it. Or try and sort things out on your own. Keep in mind that you are related you can't control that so somethings will remind you of her, but in the end you choose who you are as long as you make the conscious decision to not be a certain way. IE angry/abusive

    Also. There hasn't been any evidence of sociopaths passing it down in genes.

    Honestly good luck, I'm 21 and I'm also a work in progress lol...people cant usually tell that I've had anything but a normal childhood but in my mind it's different.

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    • FreakyKing2
      13 years ago

      Thank you. I realize that I cannot erase her from my memory but I can stop making bad ones with her, which is what I'm doing now by avoiding contact as much as possible.

      I was the same way as you are, I felt different on the inside but acted normal on the outside. But during the last couple of years of living with her I became very estranged and awkward. It seems I lost my self moderation. Sometimes when I talk to people I am very neurotic and will say anything without thinking first no matter how weird it is (like I am spilling my guts, I think that how I ended up on here.lol) but what I'm trying to accomplish now is to be back to acting normal and FEELING normal. I think it's gonna be long road,haha.
      Thanks for your thoughts and advice.

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