Is it normal that i'm depressed every night and energetic in daylight?

I'm straight male. Almost 21 years old. For almost 4 weeks, I always feel depressed at night, then, when I wake up in the morning, I feel alive.

When i'm depressed, I suddenly feel that I'm worthless, nothing, so common, friendless, and lots of negativities that most of them I can't recognize but I'm aware that those are negative auras. I Just want to lay my body forever. Then this past few days, I feel like those negativities were leveling-up. I'm starting to think of death but not suicidal. I remember thinking of "what if I have an uncureable disease?" and then I, unaware, answer my thought with "I will kill myself". Then I begin picturing myself holding a gun pointing in my head, jumping down from the roof top, drinking lots of hazardous chemicals.

Then everytime I wake up, I don't mind of what I'm thinking the night after that. I feel stupid because I thought about that. I feel like I should be alive. I'm happy. I have no problem when they are asking/commanding too many things in me. Off course I get tired, but after few minutes, I want to move again. Well, I'm not that energetic, though I want to move. But along with this, I easily get mad/irritated for some reasons, most of the time, minimal. Sometimes I want to explode and find reason to make crazy things. Happy. Irritated. Happy. Irritated.

I feel like.... there's a needle torned in my chest.... But no matter what i do, I can't find it... or maybe... there are really no needle.

additional info:
-I think too much that most of them i can't recognize
-during depressive times, I recall things that i don't want to be recall.

I want help, but I can't rely with my family for some apparent reasons. So maybe here.

Am I suffering with something serious?
Is this normal?