Is it normal that i'm confused and sexually repressed?

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9 Comments

Okay, I'm a heterosexual with a homosexual problem (no offense meant against homosexuals, I'm not prejudiced). When I envision myself in the future I have a wife. Some ethereal goddess that loves to dress up and is as impulsive as me. It warms my heart just thinking abi=out it. I'm emotionally attached to girls and am attracted to them mentally as well, but not sexually.

It's exactly the opposite with men who ignite me sexually, but I feel no emotional attraction to. I don't even use myself in my fantasies because it makes me feel awkward. Being the experimental type I tried it out, a relationship and semi-sexual stuff with a guy, and "came up short", although he was not my idea of sexy and kind of annoyed me. Also, being a Christian I wasn't comfortable with going against my religion.

Now I am a victim of fatherlessness and I know that that has its own laundry list of reprecussions, but I feel horribly conflicted. I feel like some sort of loveless, sexually-charged, but repressed monster. Is this normal? Hell no! Can I have feedback anyway?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 97 votes (61 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    It sounds like a difficult thing to have to deal with. I don't mean this to be in any way offensive, but I'm not sure IIN is the best place to be broaching the question. Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor who specialises in matters of sexuality? They may help you get to the bottom of it and allow you a happier, more settled life.

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  • woodenbelle
    13 years ago

    Actually that's completely normal, because there are three separate circuits in our brain dedicated to love/relationships: lust, attachment, and romance. You are probably more open with yourself than others, but it does sort of cause problems because our culture doesn't understand that and we don't totally know what to do about it.

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  • Wonka
    13 years ago

    I'm agreeing with dappled AND ccjigsaw on this one.

    Your situation is quite complex and talking to a Councillor wouldn't be a bad idea.

    IMHO and going off the limited information I have here, you seem to have a conflict between societal (and religious) expectations/standards and what you are truly feeling and wanting.

    I lightly ran into this problem a few times, but not the extent that you seem to have.

    Your situation seems more complex and possibly delicate than what IIN can offer you for advice and help.

    If you don't seek a councilor, I will suggest that you try to figure out what YOU want and NOT what is expected from you. Separating outside pressure and influence from your own wants and desires is one of the biggest leaps toward figuring yourself out and getting on the path of what will make YOU happy, not your parents, not your church or religion, not your friends, etc... YOU.

    It's not easy, especially alone, but it's doable.

    I'd still re-suggest seeing a councilor though, they really can be very helpful :)

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  • ccjigsaw
    13 years ago

    Find a hermaphrodite. Just kidding lol hmm. That is pretty damn tricky. I think maybe you're actually gay, but deny that side of you because of your religion and possibly family. The idea of the female in your future it put there by society and the normality of it. What you really want is a man, try to open your mind a little, allow those thoughts in, maybe you really do fund men attractive? That's just my opinion...

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  • Vyzr
    13 years ago

    Try going out with a girl. Im asexual so i wouldnt know what to do in a situation like that... but if you cant feel anything with a guy that you want to then do go out with a girl. Make sure she's good looking and nice cuz noone wants to go out with a hoe. Hoes need to be slapped.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    you are not heterosexual

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  • marickwolfe
    12 years ago

    "Also, being a Christian I wasn't comfortable with going against my religion. "

    Lol well you're not ever going to not-be repressed and well balanced without finding some silly watered down Christianity more akin to Buddhism than real Christianity.

    If you spend more time with more men and women, you'll find someone you click with sexually, emotionally and mentally (probably).

    But at the same time you may have to end up accepting you're one of the people fated to suffer a over complex sexuality.

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  • (:sweet:)
    13 years ago

    Find a girl thatll let u do her in the ass

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  • sparrowfeed
    13 years ago

    but are you a male or female?

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