Is it normal that i'm attracted to my brother in-law?

77% Normal

Help!
My husband's brother is gorgeous, cool and kind. Clever, too.
I've known my husband 8 years, and we have kids and are really happy as a couple.

But recently my bro in-law has been growing on me. A lot.
He stays over quite a bit, and for the last couple of days I've picked him up from work...(my husband asked me to).

My husband and I were having sex the other day, and suddenly his brother popped into my head - and I leant on his shoulder and pictured his brother.

Also, my kids took a picture of my bro in-law after his work, and it was on my phone. I can't stop looking at it; but I feel terrible everytime. Like I've committed some dreadful crime of infidelity.

It's so worrying - I'm starting to 'go off' my husband a little...and keener towards my brother in-law.
I would NEVER EVER EVER cheat on my hubby - and besides, the in-laws are extremely close-knit and nothing would ever actually happen.

Is this normal?

Voting Results

77% Normal

Based on 395 votes (305 yes)

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Comments ( 23 )

LittleFuzzyOne

7 years ago

Its the forbidden fruit complex, totally normal but I wouldn't act on it personally.

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Darkoil

11 years ago

This is the result of getting married too quickly. People need to make sure they solely and explicitly only love and want the person they marry before they actually do it.

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- Corleone
  
  11 years ago
  
  Geez, just because she fantasizes about someone else doesn't mean her whole marriage was a mistake.
  
  It's true that some people marry way too early, but let's assume that's not the case here.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  How dare you tell me when and why to get married!
  I have AS and needed the commitment, and I was pregnant. Happily.
  I still love my husband, but I fancy his brother.
  
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  - Darkoil
    
    11 years ago
    
    Getting married because of a baby is not a good reason either. If you don't want people's opinions then don't post the question on a fucking public website you stupid cow.
    
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  - snafu
    
    11 years ago
    
    You are truly a stupid woman, why get married just because you were too stupit to use a contraseptives.
    cheap slut comes to mind, and cheap slut for thinking about fucking your brother inlaw, what makes you think he would want to sleep with a woman who would cheat on her husband anyways. your a losser
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      How do you know they weren't planned? The babies, I mean.
      And I would NEVER cheat on my husband. I just said I kind of crush on his brother.
      I also said I have AS - I find emotional feelings very confusing, sometimes I can't divide sexual attraction and emotive warmth. They kind of merge into one.
      
      But today I had a lovely day with my husband, I was shotgun in the car and he was driving, and just looking at him I realised how much he meant to me, how he has understood me and cared for me over the years...how he is the best and only friend I could ever have. Then I looked back at our boys, and that's when I knew. He is the only man I shall ever truly love.
      His brother? No. Not really. Not anymore :)
      
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      - Kpm
        
        6 years ago
        
        Hi, dont mind all the stupid people out there calling you names just because you had a crush or was wondering about your husband brother. Im the same way. I love my friance more then I could dream about. Been together for 8 years. Getting merried next year. We have a great life and I can not imagine a life with anyone else. But..I have also had some thoughts about his brother. Me and my bf is not very sexual (he is more happy without sex) and because we have such a great life together I have decided that for me sex is not the most important thing. I will proably never have sex again in my life. But it is a choice I made. I love sex but I think relationship is so much more than sex. But I think thst is why I have thought about my soon to be brother in law. We have a lot in commen, we work in the same area, we are very a like so we can talk very well together while my fiance is not the talketiv guy. So yeah I sometimes have feelings - sexual feelings about his brother. He is good looking. But not anyone I would be together with. I think I have these feelings because he reminds me of my bf. I dont want to have them, but they are there. But I know they dont meen anything. So it will be okay :)
        
        It is like if I could combine the two of them together it would be everything a girl could dream of.
        
        I know I will get a lot of hate answears but I wanted to let you know it hsppens to others.
        
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      - regisphilbin
        
        9 years ago
        
        good for you
        
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- BD4U
  
  10 years ago
  
  the same happens to me and you advice is more the than true!!! :/
  
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- foxyk
  
  11 years ago
  
  Agreed
  
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chewbacca91

6 years ago

I am the same way, but when I really compare my hubby and his brother, there is no comparison I would choose my hubby each and everytime. I think its the case of forbidden fruit as well as the fact that they look the same so if you are attracted to the hubby.. and his brother looks like him, DUH. dont beat yourself up too much and dont act on it.

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BD4U

10 years ago

maybe you brother in law satisfy you mentally in a way your husband doesn't. maybe he shows kindness in a way your husband doesn't do anymore..the same is happening to me and it's a horrible situation to be in.

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Peptox

11 years ago

You are completely disrespecting your husband by having this sort of emotional affair.

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- foxyk
  
  11 years ago
  
  Agreed
  
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  - plum6
    
    11 years ago
    
    come on people it's not like she can help it right? I bet if she could she wouldn't have these feelings at all. Nevertheless it is obviously wrong to pursue any kind of involvement and she should get over this infatuation ASAP before this turns into one of those pathetic trailertrash family love-triangles.
    
    Do not talk to your husband about this, it will probably hurt your relationship as well as the one between your husband and his brother which would be incredibly selfish.
    
    For fuck's sake try to get over it and focus on your family.
    
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Corleone

11 years ago

You're not a bad person. Even in a committed relationship, it's still perfectly normal to fantasize about other people every now and then.

You probably have a crush on your brother in-law, and that can be harsh on a relationship. But it's temporary, so try to put things in perspective.

Take some time to appreciate what you have with your husband. It's not everyday you meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I suggest going somewhere romantic to rekindle your relationship. :)

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snafu

11 years ago

I feel your all ready cheating on him, even though you haven't slept with him, Tell your husband his brother cant sleep over anymore and rid your self of the temptation

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chp316

11 years ago

You need to get it all out in the open, talk to your Husband before you do something you can't take back!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Read above - it's different now.
  Also, I have AS, so relationships are really complicated for me.
  
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  - chp316
    
    11 years ago
    
    Good Luck Sweetie....
    
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Xnation1981

2 years ago

I honestly have the same problem . I love my fiancé we’re getting married in a few months and I swear I can’t stop thinking about his brother . I felt so terrible so I told my fiancé and he actually liked it so who knows your husband might be into that type of stuff Lol

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0404

11 years ago

I think you should hold on to your husband. And think of your kids how will they feel think of them everytime you think of your brother in - law in those ways because its there Uncle. But I think should also hold your husband tight and tell him that you love him. And remind yourself you do. And the kids you had with him.

I hope this helps all the best!
:D

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Is it normal that i'm attracted to my brother in-law?