Is it normal that i'm afraid of meeting my old friends ?

96% Normal
5 Comments

I left the town and the country I lived in when I was 16. After I moved, I used to chat with some of my friends on Skype. Most of them were inactive, so I couldn't communicate with them. I had Facebook back then, but I didn't accept my friends and classmates to my friends, because I felt like they might judge me on anything (I have social phobia). After a while, I deleted my Facebook account. As the time gone by, they were becoming less and less active on Skype. I assume everyone were moving to Facebook and didn't use Skype any more.

I haven't talked with my old friends for more than 2 years now. I wonder why they didn't try to contact me in any way. Well, I didn't try to neither.

I would love to come back to my home town for holidays, but I would be afraid of talking to the people I know (or used to know), because I think they might judge me and feel like I forgot about them, and don't care about them. It would feel awkward talking to them after 2 years. I know, people don't meet for 10 years and still are able to talk to each other as if nothing changed, but I feel like they might turn away from me when we meet.

What do you think? Do they think I forgot about them? Should I come back to my home town to meet them? What should I say when I meet them?

Voting Results
96% Normal
Based on 57 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    They probably haven't forgotten you. You have to remember everyone has their own life to lead and too often we judge ourselves more important than what we are, in the eyes of others.

    More than likely they'd be surprised and happy to see you. When you go, smile and say "Hi!".

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Good luck with the bake sale

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  • plum6
    11 years ago

    If you would not have mentioned your social phobia it would just seem like a normal desire that most people have to impress people they grew up with by showing your personal growth and achievements.

    However since you think your phobia has a part in it it is difficult for me to form an opinion because i do not know how it affects you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Well, I assume you know main characteristics of social phobia, so I don't need to explain them to you.

      I always was a bit different than people I used to hang out with. They "liked" to comment and critique my appearance sometimes. They used to ask me why I dress the way I do and I felt like being judged. I'm afraid that they're going to judge me when I meet them. Even if they are not going to judge me, social phobia is going to make me think they are.

      "...desire that most people have to impress people they grew up with by showing your personal growth and achievements." - I don't have that and I don't care about that. The other thing that makes me nervous about meeting them is that they might think, that I don't think of them as friends any more, because I didn't talk nor chat with them since I moved. Just as I do.

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    I think you should focus on managing your social phobia THEN deide. Phobias are really treatable - geez, why live fucked up with fear that way?

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