Is it normal that i'm 21 and not one guy asked me out?

48% Normal
20 Comments

Is it? Don't get me wrong. I have been in an intimate relationship once (recently ended cause we only saw each other once, and we made no physical contact. Sucks). It's a long distance relationship and it almost lasted 2 years. But the deal is our courting happened while we were far away from each other and the relationship started when we haven't seen each other personally. Anyway, back to topic. I always think and ask God (I'm Catholic btw) that is there something wrong with me? Ever since I was in my teens, no boy has ever said he's interested in me. No one ever asked me out on a date. I have never been kissed, never held hands with anyone. Growing up, I have been always insecure with my cousin since boys always likes her and chases her and she's slim and everyone likes her. She always have boyfriends and boys would always call her attention. I thought that maybe I'm just a late bloomer and when I surpass my teen years, I will be the same. But it's not. Maybe because I am overweight and on the chubby size, but I get a lot of compliments of how I looked really pretty even beautiful (not tooting my own horn here.), but then NO ONE EVEN MADE A MOVE TO SHOW THEY'RE INTERESTED IN ME. Is it because I'm too much of an introvert? But I do get along with people well. Is it because I dont show that I'm available? But get this. I don't chase for guys. I wait and I don't make moves to him because I dont want to show I'm too flirty. Or is it because I'm fat? Now that I'm getting older, I feel depressed and sad and lonely and I always ask is there something wrong with me? I dont know what to do anymore. Please someone tell me why :(

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48% Normal
Based on 21 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Spankz
    9 years ago

    Let me tell you that people like flirting. If you aren't flirting then you really aren't expressing any interest in them. You very well might have had very men guys interested in you, but since you never returned the attraction by flirting their feelings were likely cast off. Guys are not mind readers. If you like them, tell them. This isn't the 1800's where women can't make moves on guys, in fact guys encourage it and love it!

    My old best friend from high school was freakin beautiful and although she was chubby she was able to reel in any guy she wanted. Why? Because of her flirty personality. I remember questioning how the hell so many girls I knew had guys chasing after them, then I realized, oh you know what? They're flirting! It works. You can't sit there like a bump on a log hoping that someone will fall for that.

    My best friend got somewhat mad at me when I started dating my current boyfriend, because he had feelings for me. How was I supposed to know when he didn't convey it in any sort of way? He definitely didn't flirt with me. Don't hold back. Flirt with guys and they will respond, trust me. Flirting is the only sure way to allow someone to know that you're interested. Without it one can be perceived as uninterested in dating.

    Don't be afraid to flirt! You will get response, especially if you're really as beautiful as people give you credit for. Flirting works, trust me :)

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    • Unnormalgirl
      9 years ago

      Wow thank you this is the best i've read so far.. But the prob is i dont know how to do it. :( im pathetic :(

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      • Spankz
        9 years ago

        No, no you aren't pathetic. Trust me, for the longest time I didn't know to flirt either. But, it's quite easy. A lot of it is body language and there are actually quite a few helpful pages online.

        http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt
        I scanned through this very quickly and it seems like a good resource.

        http://www.lovepanky.com/women/attracting-and-dating-men/how-to-flirt-with-a-guy-without-flirting
        This one seems to be a more subtle approach.

        Once you get used to the idea it becomes a lot easier, honestly. I know at first it can be petrifying, like omg what if I say the wrong thing? But some guys can actually find that cute and funny. Ultimately, you need to be yourself and do NOT lose who you are in the process of flirting, because that is when you will get awkward. Being fun and playful is the main focus of it. It may seem intimidating, but just relax, you may find it easier than expected!

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  • Crusades|
    9 years ago

    Alright girlie. Let me hit you upside the head with some advice. When people are saying you're pretty they're just being polite.They're not actually attracted to you.
    You need to do something about your weight. Go to the gym, eat healthy and try to dress more provocative.
    We live in a time when appearance is everything. A nice personality alone will not get you laid. That's the harsh truth. Don't listen to people who will tell you that you're fine as you are and that it's the rest of the world who doesn't appreciate you. That's horse shit.

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    • Dad
      9 years ago

      I agree, but your words are too harsh, it makes women sound like they are just meat.
      I wrote a response further up, in my view not harsh except as you would say, the truth ;)

      I decided not to vote you up or down because you must admit that was a bit harsh.

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    • LizardSkin
      9 years ago

      Exactly right. A shame this comment was thumbed down by the repressed fatties and bleeding hearts hanging around.

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  • Goomats
    9 years ago

    Well, there are only three reason I can think of and all of them can be remedied:
    1. You don't meet a lot of guys in social settings.
    2. You are not trying hard enough with your appearance.
    3. You are behaving awkwardly or rudely in front of guys.

    21 is too old to just accidentally not get asked out. Life is hard. Getting guys to like a woman is hard. Looking good is hard. I used to get overlooked by guys, but I worked on my mannerisms and appearance and now I have a boyfriend and lots of guys have liked me.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    9 years ago

    Maybe its the way you don't use paragraphs.

    when you talk do you pause for a breath?

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    9 years ago

    At 21 you should be getting yourself out there. Your not getting any younger. If you think your fat get a gym pass, work on it. Some girls look good big and guys go for it. If your not flirting, meeting people, getting yourself out there. How do you expect to meet anyone?.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Well... a good thing to remember is some guys are shy too... a guy might have liked you and been to shy to say anything

    Why not try and chase after a guy...show you are interested.

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    • Unnormalgirl
      9 years ago

      Thats the problem, i dont know how to and maybe it's because im really afraid of getting rejected.

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        Well first its best to find a common interest. Like if you both are fans of the same tv show, movies, or books... after that its just a simple asking them to grab a cup of coffee with you.

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  • LawrencetheLibertine
    9 years ago

    Screw them, screw it all. If you want someone just take him. Fuck him with your eyes. Tell him with your mouth.
    Everyone's interested in someone who's interested in them, and this applies vice versa.

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    • Unnormalgirl
      9 years ago

      You are right, but then how do i do this? I know, it's a stupid question. But im totally inexperienced. (Sob)

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      • LawrencetheLibertine
        9 years ago

        Those typical innocent traits can be sexy you know.
        Work it, be shy if you want, but make a step to initiate a gesture showing interest. Even if it's smiling at someone then looking down.

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  • Dad
    9 years ago

    Crusades was voted down. But a 21yo should be active, partying enjoying life.
    Fat comes from eating too much and basically not getting up and doing stuff (anything).

    You think about it, if you did eat less and became more active, by 22 (ie Extremely young) you may get those guys chasing you. Guys do chase girls, but girls do try a lot to look good especially when young.

    Oh and lose the religion, that obviously is not going anywhere. ;)

    The vote down button is over here >>>>>>>>>>
    But I'd highly suggest you just try the above, good luck :)

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    • slings_and_arrows
      9 years ago

      Some people are just fat, it's the way they are built. But some men are attracted to chubby girls. I think its nicer than being skinny.

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      • LizardSkin
        9 years ago

        Lame and PC nonsense. Like 1% of people have a medical condition that causes fatness.

        Now if you're talking about people prone to fatness if they don't eat healthy and exercise(most likely due to slow metabolism,) that number goes up to like 5%.

        The other 96% are just lazy pigs who ingest a couple thousand calories a day and don't exercise at all.

        Basically, most anybody can be healthy thin. It takes willpower and self-disciple.

        You probably think you're being nice, but you're not doing anybody any favors telling them it's ok to be fat. Health concerns alone should be enough to make a person change their lifestyle.

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        • slings_and_arrows
          9 years ago

          You must be nuts. Even in Primary school when everyone is skinny there is always a couple of (naturally) fat kids in the class. I dont believe for a second everyone is naturally slim. Some people are dumpy and podgy, just unfortunate genetics.

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      • Dad
        9 years ago

        There are some nationalities that do seem to be fatter than average.
        Eskimos; New Zealand Maoris; (actually forget it I'm not going to write a stereotypical list of fat nationalities because you could include Americans too, since they are mostly overweight - but that would defeat the purpose because even Americans can and should be slim or slimmer).

        So unless you fit into a long line of fat people in your family (and heritage obviously) then its NOT just the way they are 'built'. Actually I'd go as far as saying MOST fat people do not need to be fat. So when you say 'some people are just fat', I'd say those type of people are very hard to find, it may be as low as 0.01% of the entire human population, other than that they are fat because of an unhealthy lifestyle.

        I don't give out excuses too easily. Mind you when there is a valid point I'll obviously admit that.
        But fat people should LOSE weight. < You could make this a golden rule, and anything else an unlikely exception.

        As for men being attracted to unhealthy girls, all good, some men can be attracted to just about anything, but fat people should not excuse themselves just because of this, they should >
        Eat healthy (and generally less intake for fat people)
        Exercise regularly
        And then magically their weight will reduce to their REAL body weight position.

        Here's what most guys say about fat young girls. 'I bet if she lost weight she'd be hot'. Guess what? I'd say that's definitely true especially with this young 21yo girl. Point out the 'not' hot 21yo healthy body weight girls - there's probably 1 in every 10,000.

        21 is an age to be active, happy, and to experience life to the fullest. Not have weight way you down.

        'Some people are just fat'!! Absolutely Crap.

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