Is it normal that i'm 20 and never had a bf

Honestly I'm pretty I have lots of Instagram followers and likes and all that stupid stuff I get told I'm beautiful all the time I'm fun I've travel partied and I've dated but never made a connection with anyone and if I did they would soon end is there something wrong with me

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 37 votes (30 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 20 )
  • thegildedfallacy

    "(I've) never had a bf"
    "I've dated"
    Um... forgive me, but there appears to be some disparate information there...

    Anyway, to answer your question - yes, it is perfectly normal to wait for somebody you feel is truly dazzling. I've dated boys previously, but presently feel content with being single until I meet the right person. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • VinnyB

      I don't see how those two things conflict at all. Just because one person asks another on a date, even if they see each other a few times, that does not automatically make them couple.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • thegildedfallacy

        Hmm. That's interesting.

        Me and my friends have always employed the word "dating" to mean "going out with", i.e. "we're dating now" = "he's my boyfriend now". (Saying that you were going out on a date would be a different matter, obviously.) Maybe it's just a thing with the British youths?

        Anyway, I can certainly see how from a technical standpoint it could appear that I have conflated the two terms. Sorry about that.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • chakrabortysanjeet24

    It is your life , so you can do whatever you want......just go with your instincts. ...... You decide what is normal or not. In the end you are the captain of your life you can steer it in whichever direction you want.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • marcoslick

    its normal tex me girl this is my number

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Arm0se

    it's ok to wait.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • DickwaffleTheGreat

    I'm 20 years old and I NEVER dated or had a GF so thats that.
    Plus you have the proof of people calling you preety and fun, btw nothing is wrong with you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • regisphilbin

    yes it's normal it will happen when you feel right.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!

    No, its not normal. But the virgins of the internet will tell you it is.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • thegildedfallacy

      Meh. I'm no virgin, but I don't see anything shockingly atypical or negative about this.

      If anything, this is probably going to spare her a whole lot of angst and drama.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • thegypsysailor

        Just because something isn't atypical does not mean it's normal. Chronologically and biologically, being a virgin at 20 is a pretty new thing. Girls were married and starting families at 14, not too long ago. I don't see the biology as having changed, just the social situation, and not necessarily for the best, if someone like this OP is all worried and confused about a simple biological function.
        There's way too much made of virginity, both ways, in modern society. This poor girl is missing out on years of great sex because of what? I don't know. But it's a shame and she'll never get those years or that youth back.
        All this bullshit about waiting for 'Mr. Right' is just an excuse for a fear of sex. Mr. Right isn't going to be much interested in a sexually repressed, inexperienced, confused and uptight gal, is he?
        Sorry, rant over.
        OP, no offense meant personally.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • thegildedfallacy

          Also, who said anything about a "fear of sex"? You're making the slightly baffling assumption here that anybody who isn't overly fussed about dating during their teenage years to early twenties is "sexually repressed".

          Besides, dating and sexual activity aren't inextricably linked.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • thegypsysailor

            My gawd, don't you read the posts on here from all these young men and women who are terrified of sex? At some point one has to consider the general mentality of the group, and make some assumptions based on the majority, or in our case what's "normal' or not.
            If an OP doesn't write a fucking book, (which no one wants to read anyway) then some assumptions have to be drawn because most posts are a bit shy on info.
            As for this OP, she could just be a terrible judge of guys and only date real losers or have persistent halitosis. She could have an unpleasant voice of unpleasant mannerisms, I don't know and she didn't say. So, please tell me, just what do YOU think is the reason why this self admitted attractive girl hasn't gotten laid yet, even though she says she wants to. I'm really curious what YOU think.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • thegildedfallacy

              I think it's quite apparent why she hasn't dated anyone.

              She clearly states that she hasn't had any romantic relationships because she has "never made a connection with anyone". So, that's OPs own answer to that.

              As to her being a virgin or not - she doesn't actually mention anything of a sexual variety in her post. She could have had sex previously when outside of a relationship, for all we know. She does refer to partying a lot. I don't quite understand why you're so fixated on the topic of her virginity, when that isn't even the subject of her actual post.

              Frankly, I think you're overthinking this one a great deal. I usually like seeing your posts; they bring humour and candour to a vast range of subject matters. I agree with you that we shouldn't always just pander to the trappings of false niceties, and should instead seek to often inject a bit of frankness into discussion. But I can't help but feel that your comments here are a little... odd, needlessly insensitive towards the OP, and off-topic.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
        • thegildedfallacy

          I'm not glorifying virginity by any means; I lost mine at a fairly early age, actually.

          I was simply trying to make this girl feel a little better about her situation. There's no use in shaming her/making her feel like she's been deprived of years of fun. She has plenty of time to catch up.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • thegypsysailor

            You are one of 96% of the others on here, who pat troubled people on the back, going, "It's OK, there, there."
            I don't think that is all that helpful myself, but if it is, there are plenty to do that on IIN.
            But cold hard truth has some place on IIN, too. And it's true that being a virgin at 20 is probably not normal in the general scheme of numbers. Hearing that a virgin is missing something really great could be enough spark to get them to try it. All that brainwashing by the church, jealous fathers and repressed uptight puritans, can be overcome if one just sets their minds to it.
            So, if an OP desires to be stroked, you and the 96% are there. If not, well then the other 4% are here to give then the straight dope, as we see it. Then it's up to the OP to choose which has value for them, right? Anger can be a great motivator too, don't you think?

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • Darkoil

              I'm part of the 4%. Most of the cry babies on here need a slap of reality not a bunch of strangers telling them they're fine the way they are.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
      • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!

        The purpose of life is procreation. When a handful of people fail to fulfill the purpose nature intended for them it is not normal. Most women in the U.S. have children between the ages of 23-28 and even younger world wide. So when OP asks if it is normal to not have any romantic relationships by her 20s the correct answer is no.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • thegildedfallacy

          I was responding from my personal perspective, not a strictly biological - or even societal - one. Apologies.

          Thank you for the evidence and reasoning, though. It was genuinely interesting. :)

          Comment Hidden ( show )