Is it normal that i'm 18 and my boyfriend is 35?

48% Normal
29 Comments

So my boyfriend and I met about 2 months ago on a chat line . He is 35 and I am 18. We absolutely adore each other. A lot of people always say it's wrong to love someone twice your age but why? Shouldn't a person be with someone who makes them feel great inside and out? He really cares about me and wants to make me happy. He has even agreed to come up to where I live and meet my family and friends. We live 2400 miles apart and to me that shows how much he loves me because that is a long way. I will be moving in with him in December. I just want to know if it is normal to be happy with some one who is twice my age. Love should be about how you feel not about age, gender, or race.

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 104 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 29 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I'mm'a take a wild guess in saying he's pretty welloff money-wise, right?

    Two months, twice your age, so far away from you, met on a chat site.

    The reason why it is just ridiculous isn't primarily the age gap, it's the age you are. You're still too immature and your plans prove that if you think this is a good idea and feel inlove with someone you haven't even met or briefly met for two months. So, before anyone jumps down my throat about the start of my comment, this is why I think it may be due to shallow reasons.

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    • Emmamredpath18
      6 years ago

      I met my boyfriend when i was 18 he was 35 at a night club, since then we have kept closely in contact we are now a couple funnily enough. It was very hard at first due to everyone thinking it was wrong and my parents disagreeing so many arguments and upsets with them but as I was 18 they couldn't stop my decision, obviously if you live in america you have to be 21 to be classed as an adult. few months down the line my parents accepted it and welcomed him, we've been on countless of trips over the months we have been together and i've never felt so passionate about someone as long as he looks after you and don't mug you off for what you have and your age you'll be decent.

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    • LovelyLucy1234
      9 years ago

      Well I'd hardly say I'm immature. I had to grow up quickly having been through what I've gone through in life. Like I said in another comment, I want a serious relationship, I don't need to party and do all the shit. I want someone who wants a serious committed relationship, not an immature boy.

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        I think you are immature, and it's normal to be immature at that age, you just turned in to an adult so expecting a mature adult mentality straight away would be silly.

        Sadly, if you think this person is your person to be with, then you are being immature. You can't know that much about them other than who the show themselves to be on a screen, they live so far away from you so you are cutting your ties for this person you barely know, that isn't mature it's dangerous, far more dangerous and immature than the type of people that party and do that sort of thing.

        You're young, Lucy. Ofcourse people of your age are going to be immature, just as you are, the point of a committed relationship is that you build it out of nothing from someone that can experience the same life as you, but someone twice your age has already gone through it and you two won't be able to connect like you think you can or he has given the impression he can.

        Ultimately it is your life, however this decision of yours is not just immature but a dangerously immature decision. I would advise that you do not take it but then again I'm not going to fool myself in to thinking someone on a social website can change your mind.

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        • LovelyLucy1234
          9 years ago

          And the thing is that I have been through just as much as he has, if not worse, that's why I have grew up so quick. The one thing I love is when people say stuff that's gonna happen like they are psychic,everyone isn't the same.

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          • [Old Memory]
            9 years ago

            Lucy, not to seem self important but the crap I have been through since I was five would surprise you and I wouldn't claim I was mature at eighteen even though at the time I assumed I was. Saying you have been through just as much as he has is a ridiculous thing to say, he is twice your age, you haven't experienced what most people his age have.

            Growing up through bad circumstances does not mature you like some sort of movie, infact it usually does the complete opposite.

            I'm not saying that something bad will happen, I am saying that the likelyhood of it is larger than the positives that are likely to happen. That said, you would be the same, you are not psychic so assuming everything is going to be fine and dandy is silly. No, not everyone is the same and that's what I am trying to tell you, you don't know this person to know if he is not a danger to your safety.

            Again, I'm not going to beg you not to, it's your business, but just be prepared for the negatives that are likely to happen.

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  • ThisIsImpossible
    9 years ago

    Ew you're going to move in with a guy that lives over 2,000 miles away that's got twice as much life experience as you? Hahahaha, bruh I see five years of sexually saturated emotional confusion in your future.

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    • LovelyLucy1234
      9 years ago

      I disagree, I have had more of that with guys my own age, after I met my boyfriend I finally understood why I went through all that shit, to help me realize that there really are great men out there. That's what I want, not a boy, a man.

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      • Tarkio
        9 years ago

        He's a father figure not a boyfriend. He will manipulate you, and turn you into what he wants, then leave you when you are 25 or sooner. If he is attracted to 18 year olds, as you get older(even a few years) he will become less and less attracted to you. he likes children.

        Don't be an idiot. You are too young to move in with anyone! Especially a potential pediphile/loser.

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        • LovelyLucy1234
          9 years ago

          Whoa whoa whoa, chill with the disrespect. You don't know him so don't go antagonizing him. It has nothing to do with my age, he has dated people his age before. I doubt he will manipulate me, I am very strong headed. I may be 18 but I definately am much more mature than a lot of these 20 something year olds out here. It's a preference that I have, just like I prefer to date white men. I made this choice. I highly doubt that he would try any of that, I will stab a person.

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      • ThisIsImpossible
        9 years ago

        I hope you're right bruh, I just wonder why a man has time to deal with a girl, but if you don't care then why should I give a fuck right haha

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    First of all, itduz is a 21 year old guy. Don't listen to him. Secondly, why shouldn't you be with someone who makes you happy? I believe that if you're happy, and your significant other is happy, it really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Not your parents, not your friends, and certainly not a bunch of assholes on the internet who have no idea what kind of people you or your boyfriend are.

    So what if he's older than you? If he makes you happy, then good for you! Don't let anybody bring you down or tell you your relationship is dysfunctional in any way. When I moved in with my boyfriend, the guys who used to be his friends became the biggest bunch of douchebags towards us because they didn't think our relationship was what they thought relationships should be.

    According to them, a girlfriend is there to look pretty and cook for everyone while everyone ignores their girlfriends all day to talk shit about a bunch of stuff no one cares about. Imagine if I had listened to those assholes? I wouldn't be very happy today, but I could give a fuck what other think of myrelationship.

    Seriously, do what makes you happy. I'm sorry to see how harsh most of these comments are but honestly? Most of the people on here are really bitter and quick to judge.

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    • LovelyLucy1234
      9 years ago

      Thank you, atleast someone understands

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    *puts on a fake beard and lights a cigar*
    Tell me about your father.

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    • SEWnanist23
      9 years ago

      "Is He Rich like Me?"

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  • SEWnanist23
    9 years ago

    I have two words for You = Sugar Daddy! Boyfriend would indicate You are with a Guy closer to Your age.

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    • LovelyLucy1234
      9 years ago

      Ha he isn't a sugar daddy. I absolutely love him as well as he does I. I guess I shouldn't have said twice my age cuz only at this point is he twice my age. He is 17 years older than I am. I don't think it's wrong because we obviously have a connection. I may be 18 but I am very mature for my age. I had to grow up quickly so I'm not looking for a silly nilly relationship, I'm ready to settle down and have something serious.

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  • FlubberRubber
    2 years ago

    My concern is how long you’ve been 18? A month, 6 months, or are you almost 19? I’m assuming you both met when you were adults so as long as that’s the case it’s not completely terrible, but maybe just wait and slow down before jumping into anything. An old friend of mine immediately started dating a 30 year old about less than a month after he turned 18 and it was a disaster.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Love knows no boundaries. I have a friend that's in his early 30s and he has been dating this girl since she was 17. He got thrown in jail for 7 months because of it. Her parents pressed charges for statutory rape even though she was only a year from 18. They're still together 2 years later and she just lost her child (miscarriage) and still very much in love from what I can see.

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  • kelili
    9 years ago

    At 17 I was dating a guy who was 34 and the lesson I've learnt is that teenagers should not date adults but there are exceptions.

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  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    "We live 2400 miles apart and to me that shows how much he loves me because that is a long way." could just mean he really likes to fuck you. But I'm not one of those who judge based on age, race, etc., though. I've had boyfriends twice my age and 2/3 my age. If you feel it's right just go for it.

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    • mountain-man82
      9 years ago

      Ive dated women 10 yrs younger than myself. I wouldnt be concerned of the age, my concern would be moving 2400 miles away after 2 months.

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      • LovelyLucy1234
        9 years ago

        Well by December it will have been 6 months

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      • CoraCook
        9 years ago

        All right, I can compromise on that. Maybe, given that he is trustworthy (well, who knows how that can be done for real?), just stay over for 2 or 3 months and see how it works out. Hopefully, a controlling and jealous personality won't come out... Uh... I dunno.

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        • mountain-man82
          9 years ago

          Very true. But if they are 2400 miles away, how well can they really know eachother? I think your idea of giving it a trial run there is a good idea.

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          • LovelyLucy1234
            9 years ago

            Well that's true. We had that idea already and thought that it would be good.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    The only thing that sounds worrying here is you moving in with him after such a short time. Big risk.

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  • omar123
    9 years ago

    It depends if you want to stay with him for a long time cause after few years, he will look very old and you will stay young, it's better to you to hang out with guys close to your age not close to your father age.

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  • werecat
    9 years ago

    It's ok dood

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