Is it normal that i love to be messed up?

This has to be a joke.

I love used to love all that shit too, i guess i even still do but having an addictive personality most those things have to do with drugs which will fuck your life up bad. Don't ever throw needles in there too. That shit is nearly impossible to break the habit of doing! It was the hardest thing I ever did. Don't be a dumb girl like me and get into that shit, it's hard to ever really find a way back out.

There's so much I could say to this... I will say that I personally suffered from a couple addictions. And I loved them in some ways. I love my addiction free life better though.
http://www.twloha.com/

No, it's probably not a joke. This is extremely common and normal human behavior. All of those things, above and beyond the effects of any drugs you're using, trigger the brain to release endorphins in and of themselves. That is, the very act of injecting or smoking a drug produces reward chemicals in your brain even if there's no actual drug being injected or smoked or whatever. The brain recognizes that this behavior means drugs are coming, and since it wants to encourage you to use drugs, it produces reward signals.

Yes, your brain wants drugs. Why do you think they feel so good? Why do you think they're habit-forming? They're very useful, especially things like opiates, cocaine, and cannabis. These drugs can be used in the same way as certain natural neurochemicals, or else they strengthen those neurochemicals. Meaning the brain has to spend less energy producing those chemicals and doing its work in general. That's why it's so hard to quit -- the brain is used to the current state of affairs and it's stressful to your brain cells to adjust to a more difficult way of existing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should all go out and use as many drugs as possible. I am, however, pointing out a basic truth of biology -- the central nervous system rewards drug-taking behavior. Period.

This is so normal that any human who does not experience this has something wrong with their brain, literally. Obviously, though, people with a natural endorphin deficiency will be a lot more drawn to endorphin-producing behaviors than most people, but we're -all- pleasure-seekers because we're -all- programmed that way.