Is it normal that i love my husband but i want a friend with benefits?

80% Normal
6 Comments

Dear readers
I am 23 years old with 2 kids. I love my "little" family that I have. My husband and I aren't the perfect couple. We fight a lot,etc. He is abusive verbally and it backs me away from him. How he is to me makes me hate him touching me sexually. i know hes an amazing man but hes strange at the same time. So I've never been with another man, I lost my virginity with my husband. So him treating me like this makes me curious "how are different men?" Yes I know that wont help the situation but its killing me inside to know how the feel of another man is. Long story short, I'm seriously confused help..!!

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 5 votes (4 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • jondoerandom
    11 years ago

    if the 2 of you don't get along with each other it makes things harder. Especially since he was your first man and you've been loyal to him.
    Try to talk him into a therapy, of course it might not be the answer, but at least is a healthier way to try to solve the issues instead of cheating on him with another man. In my opinion if you feel that you want somebody else -here goes your "litle family" :/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    The two of you need therapy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    I fail to see where he is "amazing" here. If he's so amazing he wouldn't be abusing you.

    And if he already thinks it's acceptable to verbally abuse you... how will cheating fix this?

    Sure, I understand wanting to be with someone who actually *loves* you. But living with an abusive man while you're sleeping with someone else... is only going to get you MORE abused heaped on you. And very likely it will turn to physical abuse too.

    If your husband cannot (or will not) learn to break his own abusive behavior, it's best to GTFO. And then once you're free (and perhaps after you've healed)... that's when it's better to find a real man who doesn't need to hurt you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • nobodyspecial
    11 years ago

    Divorce him and find someone that respects and loves you for who you are. If you worried about the kids, don't...kids adapt, and the younger they are the easier they adapt.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • bigtoy
      11 years ago

      Kids do adapt but nothing compares to being together with your mom and your dad. I'd say it's always better to work things out. The fact that this couple has stayed together this long and have kids suggests that up to a certain point in their relationship thing where pretty good. They need to try to get back to that point and not throw everything down the drain. Kids suffer one hell of a lot when parents split up.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • TerryVie
    11 years ago

    it's normal to wonder, i'd say.

    Many a married person has had an affair. With or without knowledge of their partners, and it's not exclusive to men.
    Many woman cheat, too.

    Really, i would love to give you more direct advice, but in the end, you have to make up your decision. I will only say that your situation is very understandable, as is your curiosity, and that i, personally, would probably try and go for it in your position.
    Faithfulness has it's place, definitely so, but only if you are happy with your partner.
    As you say it, sexually, you don't seem to be, and if another experience would possible bring you more insight or balance into your life, then it may well be worth it.

    As said, it's what i would do, and despite having moral standards i follow, i guess i would be looked upon rather negatively by society as a whole.

    Do take into account what you're risking, but make the decision that makes you feel more "whole".

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0