Is it normal that i love her and she can't decide?

77% Normal
5 Comments

Ok so first, the basics; I'm a female, I'm a teenager, I'm straight in the sense that I'm sexually attracted to men,I've only dated men but they never last long(I get bored/they get on ym nerves), I have mostly female friends because I don't really get along with men long-term. All that said, I'm in love with a girl.

The relevant fact is, I love her like I've never loved anyone or anything before. She is honestly my everything and even though I want to have her forever, I don't think that can happen. I've never felt anywhere even a little close to this with anyone before, my boyfriends all didn't last long and we never really connected in anything. She is my best friend and we've been through a lot together, more than people of our age usaually have to. We were together for a while and, in a sense, we still are. But things have happened that could have broken us, but we survived. I honestly know we can get through anything together. She loves me and I know that and I love her. I can't begin to explain this and make it sound like what I mean with the full effect. What I'm trying to say is, I know this is the real thing for me.

The main issue is now, neither of us are gay, neither of us are attracted to females other than eachother; emotional and physically. For both of us, it's only eachother. I can't imagine being with anyone else and it hurts so much to imagine her with someone that isn't me. I'd let her go and I have give her reason and chances to leave, but she didn't, she won't. I'm not going anywhere and we will always be extremely close. But my family, as well as her's, would not accept our relationship, not at all. She is a strong Lutheran and I a strong Christian. I believe God will love me anyway and I don't believe I'd be sent to hell for loving someone. She has doubts and she's scared, that breaks my heart. I've spent countless nights without sleep telling her everything is ok and that I'll never never her.

We can do one of two things: we can not be together and accept that we will only get 'second best'; because for me, no one can replace her and no one will ever fill the space that's her's, or we and be together and not care what others think and we can work it out with God and with otherselves.

I'd give up the world for her to be happy, which means I'd give her up, she's my everything. So my final question is (though anything you have to say I'd love to hear, regardless of the contents) is it normal that this is such a big choice? Is it ok that she is worried about other factors and me when I'm mostly thinking of her and us? What do you think I should do (just to get me to think, I won't make my choice based on a poll) and when should this choice be made?

I realize this story has religious aspects, I don't just want Christian opinions, I'd like a lot of them, don't be afraid to be harsh with me either, I'm prepared for lashing.

Thank you so much for your time

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 53 votes (41 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    12 years ago

    Ever read Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson?
    I think it's so sad that other peoples views/religious beliefs should alter the way we lead our lives. Religion should give us fulfilment and hope, not fear and feel like although we're being ourselves it's wrong.
    Your family should accept you regardless but I know that is not always the case so if you are going to make this work you may have to fight on your own.
    If you love her and she loves you that should be your decision, you only get one shot at this life and if she's the one who makes you happy then that's the road you should be heading down

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  • almostunreadable
    12 years ago

    Sounds like you have mistaken her for your soul. She can never replace your own soul. What you must do is learn - be with her (months, years...) until you get disappointed. Then you will realize that we should seek our soul within ourselves, not in others.

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  • rockie2014
    12 years ago

    I made this story, if anyone would like to know the ending, message me.

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  • zlofton
    9 years ago

    well, im no christian. but i dont think just loving her is a sin, unles you turn into a homosexual. the bible says thhat is wrong.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    I do not understand how you say you are straight if you say you are in love with another female. Are you positive about that? Just because you are only attracted to her does not mean you are not gay. It might just mean you only love her. Being straight does not mean you are looking at every person on the opposite gender in a sexual manner. You obviously care about your friend very much. She seems to also care about you very much. While I myself come from a religious background I would say be with her. You do not choose who you love. Be it from a different religious background or race. Yes to many followers it is believed that gays don't go to heaven. However I think if overall you are still a good person god would still want you in heaven.

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