Is it normal that i love hating being spanked by my frankie?

A few years back I realized I wasn't alone in the world of spanking. Young women, like myself, were craving the discipline of a firm spanking. I met a friend online and after some years of friendship we finally took it to the next level . Luckily enough our connection didn't end with spanking and technology for we truly fit together in many happy ways . The spanking is an ongoing thought in our relationship . I wAnt more of it but I fear it and then crave more spanking. I'm spanked for many reasons such as speeding or texting and driving ( I absolutely don't do that anymore ,) not doing what I say I will, like be late and keeping a clean car, and for being rude to people( I'm pretty bad with customer service reps.) occasionally I can be smart Alec with him but he cuts me some slack if it's my time of the month. I do get spanked with many things . All things have included over clothes , over panties, over tights , on the bare. Implements have included his hand, his hard wooded brush, my hair brush, wooden flat spoon, paddle, belt ( only a few swats), long Rose stem switch . Otk, laying on the bed face down, secured to an ottoman, and other places . I hate how each spanking starts, although before hand I'm very sexually excited. After it begins I am so sorry instantly , he spanks hard and wonderfully but sometimes during I think I cannot endure this . Then when he's done and I'm cuddled up next to him and my bottom is on fire with a trapped sting I begin loving it all over again. Does anyone else experience this sort of range of emotions. ? Is it normal? I can only describe it as I love to hate my spankings.