Is it normal that i love a guy i hate and don't agree with?

Theres this guy we have a long bad and good history and we have known eachother for 5 years and still acting passionate to eachother like always. and been having sex and acting like we kinda are in a loose relationship. we have not had sex with anyone else but we have gone on dates with other people.he had a girlfriend or two for a long time but always cheated on them with me. but for a couple of months now its just been me and him. I hate the fact I can't trust him perfectly, I hate what he says when he try's to be morally right. his words are stupid, he makes excuses on why me an him can't officially be together.(but he doesn't want to be with anyone else either) and he still wants to have sex with me but hasn't asked me yet to be with him. (and well I'm not sure if i wanna be with him yet either) But I love him so much I'm willing to stick around, wait. and just be around him everyday. we hangout almost everyday too.we can just sit and say nothing and be ok, we can talk about nothing and its so fun. we like alot of the same things. although he likes math, i like art,I'm going to be a doctor, he doesn't know what he wants to do. (we are opposite)I feel like this a bi-polar relationship filled with contradictions that I just can't and don't want to get out of.Yes he can say some mean things, and sometimes i feel verbally abused,he says mean things out of nowhere,like everything could be going fine and he changes the subject and says something fucked up, so I say mean things back.we bite and wrestle just for fun too. but he would NEVER hit me, i know that for a fact, he would rather hit the walls till he bleeds,and gets plenty brusies which has happend.he even dislocated his hand twice but not because of me, i don't think.5 years and we still feel very strongly toward eachother.I don't know if its love or what it is. if i feel so negative about him,yet feel like I would be so lost and dead if i lose him.