Is it normal that i liked my second cousin?

I was thinking about something, last summer my older second cousin came to visit my family. He's in his 30's I believe. I'm only 17. But for two weeks he had to stay in the same house as me. For some reason, I had this indescribable connection with him, love almost, and it made me look at him in a very sexual way. It really scared me, and after I realized what I was thinking, I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't look at him, and I even went over to stay at my friend's house till he went home. What the heck is wrong with me... He's not even attractive, just sometime about him made me think like that...