Is it normal that i like womans cloth more than mens

Hi my name is jeremy. I'm a 37 year old male. For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed wearing womans cloths especially dresses and skirts. I won't wear womans cloth in public except maybe under men's cloths. I don't do this often just when lonley. I have even experiemeted with womans sex toys. I would not concider my self a cross dresser but I'm something different. And I'm afraid I will never get a gf or married because of the way i am any suggestions or any thoughts what I might be because I only do this in my personal time because of judgemental people